A Young Girl's Diary - Anonymous

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but I really can’t write it all down. It is too horrid, but I shan’t forget. When I was sitting on Mother’s bed to-day I suddenly realised that Father’s bed is really quite close to Mother’s. I had never thought about it before. But it’s not really necessary now for we are all quite big. Still I suppose they’ve just left things as they were. Well dear, said Mother, what are you looking round so for? Of course I didn’t let on, but said: I was only looking round and thinking that if your bed was where the washstand is you could see to read better when you are lying in bed. That would not do because the wall’s all wrong said Mother. I said nothing more and she didn’t either. I like much better to sleep on a sofa than in a bed, because I like to snuggle up against the back. I’m so glad Mother didn’t notice anything. One has to be so frightfully careful not to give oneself away when one knows everything.

      November 25th. I have just been reading a lovely story; it is called A True Heart and is about a girl whose betrothed has had to leave her because he has shot a man who was spying on him. But Rosa remains true to him till he comes back after 10 years and then they marry. It’s simply splendid and frightfully sad at first. I do love these library books, but when we were at the elementary school I knew all the books they had and the mistress never knew what to give me and Hella. In the high school we get only one book a month, for the Frau Doktor says we have plenty of work to do, and that when we are not at work we ought to be out in the fresh air. I can’t manage to go skating every day. I do love the Gold Fairy, that is my name for her, for I hate her real name. Inspee declares that they call her Stasi for short, but I don’t believe that; most likely they call her Anna, but that’s so common. Thank goodness Hella always calls me Rita, so at school I’m known as Rita. It’s only at home that they will call me Gretl. The other day I said to Inspee: If you want me to call you Thea you must call me Rita; and anyhow I won’t let you call me Gretl, that’s what they call a little girl or a peasant girl. She said: I don’t care tuppence what you call me. All right, then, she shall be Dora till the end of time.

      November 27th. Father has been made Appeal Court Judge. He is awfully glad and so is Mother. The news came yesterday evening. Now he can become President of the Supreme Court, not directly, but in a few years. We shall probably move to a larger house in May. Inspee said to Mother that she hoped she would have her own room where she would not be disturbed. How absurd, who disturbs her, I suppose I do? Much more like she disturbs me, always watching while I’m writing my diary. Hella always says: “There really ought not to be any elder sisters;” she’s jolly well right. It’s a pity we can’t alter things. Mother says we are really too big to keep St. Nicholas, but I don’t see why one should ever be too big for that. Last year Inspee got something from St. Nicholas when she was 13 and I’m not 12 yet. All we get are chocolates and sweets and dates and that sort of thing, not proper presents. The girls want to give the Frau Doktor a great Krampus * to leave it on her desk. I think that’s silly. It’s not a proper present for a teacher one is really fond of, one doesn’t want to waste sweets on a teacher one doesn’t like, and to give an empty Krampus would be rude. Mother is really right and a Krampus is only suitable for children.

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