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The Complete Works. George Eliot
Читать онлайн.Название The Complete Works
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isbn 9788027233564
Автор произведения George Eliot
Жанр Языкознание
Издательство Bookwire
With spotless love and holy fear.
Speak to my warring passions, “Peace!”
Say to my trembling heart, “Be still!”
Thy power my strength and fortress is,
For all things serve thy sovereign will.
She laid by the brush and took up the duster; and if you had ever lived in Mrs. Poyser’s household, you would know how the duster behaved in Dinah’s hand—how it went into every small corner, and on every ledge in and out of sight—how it went again and again round every bar of the chairs, and every leg, and under and over everything that lay on the table, till it came to Adam’s papers and rulers and the open desk near them. Dinah dusted up to the very edge of these and then hesitated, looking at them with a longing but timid eye. It was painful to see how much dust there was among them. As she was looking in this way, she heard Seth’s step just outside the open door, towards which her back was turned, and said, raising her clear treble, “Seth, is your brother wrathful when his papers are stirred?”
“Yes, very, when they are not put back in the right places,” said a deep strong voice, not Seth’s.
It was as if Dinah had put her hands unawares on a vibrating chord. She was shaken with an intense thrill, and for the instant felt nothing else; then she knew her cheeks were glowing, and dared not look round, but stood still, distressed because she could not say good-morning in a friendly way. Adam, finding that she did not look round so as to see the smile on his face, was afraid she had thought him serious about his wrathfulness, and went up to her, so that she was obliged to look at him.
“What! You think I’m a cross fellow at home, Dinah?” he said, smilingly.
“Nay,” said Dinah, looking up with timid eyes, “not so. But you might be put about by finding things meddled with; and even the man Moses, the meekest of men, was wrathful sometimes.”
“Come, then,” said Adam, looking at her affectionately, “I’ll help you move the things, and put ’em back again, and then they can’t get wrong. You’re getting to be your aunt’s own niece, I see, for particularness.”
They began their little task together, but Dinah had not recovered herself sufficiently to think of any remark, and Adam looked at her uneasily. Dinah, he thought, had seemed to disapprove him somehow lately; she had not been so kind and open to him as she used to be. He wanted her to look at him, and be as pleased as he was himself with doing this bit of playful work. But Dinah did not look at him—it was easy for her to avoid looking at the tall man—and when at last there was no more dusting to be done and no further excuse for him to linger near her, he could bear it no longer, and said, in rather a pleading tone, “Dinah, you’re not displeased with me for anything, are you? I’ve not said or done anything to make you think ill of me?”
The question surprised her, and relieved her by giving a new course to her feeling. She looked up at him now, quite earnestly, almost with the tears coming, and said, “Oh, no, Adam! how could you think so?”
“I couldn’t bear you not to feel as much a friend to me as I do to you,” said Adam. “And you don’t know the value I set on the very thought of you, Dinah. That was what I meant yesterday, when I said I’d be content for you to go, if you thought right. I meant, the thought of you was worth so much to me, I should feel I ought to be thankful, and not grumble, if you see right to go away. You know I do mind parting with you, Dinah?”
“Yes, dear friend,” said Dinah, trembling, but trying to speak calmly, “I know you have a brother’s heart towards me, and we shall often be with one another in spirit; but at this season I am in heaviness through manifold temptations. You must not mark me. I feel called to leave my kindred for a while; but it is a trial—the flesh is weak.”
Adam saw that it pained her to be obliged to answer.
“I hurt you by talking about it, Dinah,” he said. “I’ll say no more. Let’s see if Seth’s ready with breakfast now.”
That is a simple scene, reader. But it is almost certain that you, too, have been in love—perhaps, even, more than once, though you may not choose to say so to all your feminine friends. If so, you will no more think the slight words, the timid looks, the tremulous touches, by which two human souls approach each other gradually, like two little quivering rain-streams, before they mingle into one—you will no more think these things trivial than you will think the first-detected signs of coming spring trivial, though they be but a faint indescribable something in the air and in the song of the birds, and the tiniest perceptible budding on the hedge-row branches. Those slight words and looks and touches are part of the soul’s language; and the finest language, I believe, is chiefly made up of unimposing words, such as “light,” “sound,” “stars,” “music”—words really not worth looking at, or hearing, in themselves, any more than “chips” or “sawdust.” It is only that they happen to be the signs of something unspeakably great and beautiful. I am of opinion that love is a great and beautiful thing too, and if you agree with me, the smallest signs of it will not be chips and sawdust to you: they will rather be like those little words, “light” and “music,” stirring the long-winding fibres of your memory and enriching your present with your most precious past.
Chapter III.
Sunday Morning.
Lisbeth’S touch of rheumatism could not be made to appear serious enough to detain Dinah another night from the Hall Farm, now she had made up her mind to leave her aunt so soon, and at evening the friends must part. “For a long while,” Dinah had said, for she had told Lisbeth of her resolve.
“Then it’ll be for all my life, an’ I shall ne’er see thee again,” said Lisbeth. “Long while! I’n got no long while t’ live. An’ I shall be took bad an’ die, an’ thee canst ne’er come a-nigh me, an’ I shall die a-longing for thee.”
That had been the key-note of her wailing talk all day; for Adam was not in the house, and so she put no restraint on her complaining. She had tried poor Dinah by returning again and again to the question, why she must go away; and refusing to accept reasons, which seemed to her nothing but whim and “contrairiness”; and still more, by regretting that she “couldna’ ha’ one o’ the lads” and be her daughter.
“Thee couldstna put up wi’ Seth,” she said. “He isna cliver enough for thee, happen, but he’d ha’ been very good t’ thee—he’s as handy as can be at doin’ things for me when I’m bad, an’ he’s as fond o’ the Bible an’ chappellin’ as thee art thysen. But happen, thee’dst like a husband better as isna just the cut o’ thysen: the runnin’ brook isna athirst for th’ rain. Adam ’ud ha’ done for thee—I know he would—an’ he might come t’ like thee well enough, if thee’dst stop. But he’s as stubborn as th’ iron bar—there’s no bending him no way but’s own. But he’d be a fine husband for anybody, be they who they will, so looked-on an’ so cliver as he is. And he’d be rare an’ lovin’: it does me good on’y a look o’ the lad’s eye when he means kind tow’rt me.”
Dinah tried to escape from Lisbeth’s closest looks and questions by finding little tasks of housework that kept her moving about, and as soon as Seth came home in the evening she put on her bonnet to go. It touched Dinah keenly to say the last good-bye, and still more to look round on her way across the fields and see the old woman still standing at the door, gazing after her till she must have been the faintest speck in the dim aged eyes. “The God of love and peace be with them,” Dinah prayed, as she looked back from the last stile. “Make them glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted them, and the years wherein they have seen evil. It is thy will that I should part from them; let me have no will but thine.”
Lisbeth turned into the house at last and sat down in the workshop near Seth, who was busying himself there with fitting some bits of