LITMIR.BIZ

      Mom: Don’t be afraid to let your kids argue with you. You might learn something.

      After a teenage Christian friend of mine got into an accident with his parents’ car because he had been drinking and driving, I made a pretty strong statement to my dad:

      Carrie: I don’t know how you can be a Christian and drink alcohol. Dad: Well that’s an interesting viewpoint. As far as I know, Jesus was a Christian, and he apparently made wine for a party, didn’t he?

      Carrie: Dad! That’s different. In Jesus’ day, the wine wasn’t nearly as strong in alcohol content as it is today. And Jesus certainly never got drunk! Or drove on multi-lane freeways after drinking.

      Dad: Carrie, what about all of the Christians around the world, such as in Europe, who do drink? Are you saying they aren’t really Christians?

      Carrie: Well, obviously I can’t speak for everyone in the world who claims to be a Christian. But didn’t the apostle Paul say he would not eat meat if it caused someone to stumble? Alcohol has caused incredible amounts of suffering and violence and damage in America. I don’t see how any Christian in America could see how much suffering alcohol causes and then not do as Paul did, and abstain from it.

      Dad: I commend you for your conviction. But don’t you think you are being too harsh on others who don’t necessarily share your convictions?

      Carrie: No. I think anyone who takes the Bible seriously and who sees what alcohol does to people, won’t drink.

      Dad: What if you discovered that your boyfriend drank occasionally?

      Carrie: He wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore.

      Over the years, we had conversations like that one. Our discussions covered numerous topics. Sometimes we bantered about ethics, theology, or worldviews; at other times, we focused on matters pertaining to church, school, or politics. Dad always pushed me to defend my opinion. By the end of every debate, I realized there were facets of the topic that I had never considered before. I also had a firmer grasp of the issues, and my own opinion.

      The point here isn’t about whether my opinion was right or wrong. (The only debate I clearly won with him was when he tried to argue for the legitimacy of using puns as an acceptable form of humor.) I always knew that Dad wasn’t trying to be argumentative. He just wanted me to know how to think through deep issues. And thanks to our debates, I developed the skill of supporting my convictions.

      4. Be a role model for lifelong learning.