LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

right, Keener. It’s not at all funny. Poor Charles is deaf in one ear now,’ said Fifty, before he started laughing again.

      ‘I think it’s more a case of amputation,’ said Bee, wiping tears off her cheek. It’s weird. She always cries when she laughs. Her tear ducts must be wired up wrong.

      ‘Stereo to mono with one flick of elastic,’ added Fifty.

      ‘And nothing to rest his glasses on,’ said Jonno, who had walked over.

      There was a pause while we worked out the joke.

      ‘Good one,’ said Copper Pie.

      You see, that’s the other thing about Copper Pie: he’s not complicated. I don’t mean he’s simple, as in thick, but he’s straightforward.

      Jonno wasn’t wanted on our patch, so he told him to go away.

      Jonno annoyed him, so he hit him.

      Jonno said something clever, so he congratulated him.

      I said Jonno was all right, so Copper Pie gave him a chance.

      ‘So what are you going to do about it?’ Jonno asked Copper Pie.

      ‘I dunno. Hope no one notices.’

      ‘Is it safe to do that?’ Jonno went on. ‘I mean . . . did anyone see you?’

      ‘No one saw me hit it . . . but Walsh saw me going up the stairs. She was coming down.’

      ‘What about when you left?’

      ‘Miss Maggs was still in the playground.’

      ‘Any other kids about?’ Jonno was giving him the third degree.

      ‘Only Bee. It was well late.’

      ‘What were you doing all that time?’ I asked.

      Copper Pie didn’t answer.

      Bee sighed. ‘We went to see if we could intercept the letter from the Head to Copper Pie’s mum and dad.’

      ‘What?’ I shouted.

      ‘It was just an idea,’ said Bee. ‘And we didn’t find it anyway.’

      ‘It’s illegal you know, interfering with the Royal Mail,’ I said.

      ‘Never mind about that,’ said Fifty. ‘Damaging the statue’s the problem. Punishment for that won’t just be a letter. It’ll be an invitation for C.P.’s whole family to sit outside the Head’s office.’

      ‘There aren’t enough chairs,’ said Bee.

      ‘They could bring their own sofa,’ said Fifty.

      ‘This isn’t helping,’ said Copper Pie.

      ‘What are the chances you’ll get away with it?’ asked Jonno.

      Copper Pie screwed up his face. ‘Not good.’

      There was lots of nodding from the rest of us. C.P. gets blamed for most things whether he’s done them or not.

      ‘So the only way out of this that I can see is if we make sure no one notices the damage – that way they won’t be looking for a culprit.’ Jonno had a good way of putting things. ‘Have you got the ear? Is it in one piece?’

      ‘Yes and no. It’s not what you’d call an ear any more.’

      ‘Let’s see.’

      Copper Pie fished deep into his pockets and pulled out some bits of grey stone tangled up with some string, three rubber bands and two empty crisp packets, both beef flavour.

      ‘You really shouldn’t eat those. They’re in the top five of the junk food table.’

      ‘Not now, Bee,’ said Fifty.

      The ear was like one of those frustrating puzzles you get at Christmas that start off as a nice shape but can never be put back together again.

      KEENER’S WORST CHRISTMAS STOCKING PRESENTS EVER

      • A rubber dog toy

      • Union Jack pants

      • Slime (ear wax colour)

      • Coal

      • Squashed satsuma

      • Pinocchio pencil sharpener

      ‘Well, that’s not going back on,’ said Bee. ‘And someone will definitely notice a missing ear. I mean, it’s assembly tomorrow and we line up right next to Charles.’

      Jonno shook his head. ‘They might not. But it’s going to take team work.’

      ‘What is?’ said Fifty.

      ‘Fixing the statue of course.’

      Jonno had gone from the unwanted member to the one who had us all listening. How did he do that?

      ‘Have you got a master plan?’ said Fifty.

      ‘I might have. Do you want to hear it?’

      ‘Too right,’ said Copper Pie. ‘And, er . . . sorry about the headlock.’

      ‘You’ve got scarily fast reactions,’ said Jonno. ‘I’m glad Keener held on to you because I didn’t fancy the punch that was coming next.’

      Jonno looked at me when he said that and did a sort of nod. It got me thinking that although I was trying to save Copper Pie from trouble, it was really Jonno that I’d helped. I don’t do a lot of rescuing so I felt quite proud. I nodded back in what I hoped was an it’s-no-big-deal-I-do-it-everyday way.

      ‘Go on, then,’ said Bee. ‘Spit it out. How do we get Copper Pie off the hook?’

       team talk

      ‘The first thing is we need to be a team,’ said Jonno.

      ‘You said that already,’ said Bee. ‘We’re mates – of course we’re a team.’

      ‘Are you? Because I reckon if you’d been working more as a team you’d have had a better chance of getting rid of me. I mean, how good was your plan?’

      Jonno looked at us, one at a time. I felt my face go red. I’ve got blond hair and pale skin that turns an unnatural raspberry colour when I feel embarrassed. Fifty started kicking a woodlouse with his shoe. Bee retied her ponytail. Copper Pie kept his head down.

       Please someone say something.

      No one did. Jonno carried on.

      ‘Think about it. Copper Pie told me to go away, but no one backed him up – unless Bee’s personal bubble thing was meant to scare me off. Fifty had a go at me in class but Miss Walsh let me off. If you’d made up more lies about me, she’d have thought I was a troublemaker and that would have made things really difficult for me. Same when Bee did it. And when you finally barricaded the way in to your base, all of you working together, one of you broke ranks and ruined what was the best action you’d taken. I was hardly going to body slam the four of you just to sit in the dirt under your tree.’

      He made us sound like a bunch of wallies.

      ‘We’re not used to having to defend ourselves,’ I said, a bit cross at his know-all attitude.

      ‘But he’s got a point,’ said Fifty. ‘If it was footie and your team had a corner, you’d never score if everyone did their own thing. Every player needs to know what the others are going to do to stand a chance of getting a goal. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it, Jonno?’

      ‘Pretty much. If you’d stuck together I’d have probably given up.’

      Bee was getting impatient. ‘OK. OK. We’re a rubbish team. But what’s the plan for the ear?’

      He

Скачать книгу