LITMIR.BIZ

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the penny public? Oh, yes; I like writing for them. There’s only one objection to the style—it’s apt to give an author a tendency towards bodies.”

      Mr. Gilbert was compelled to confess that this last remark was incomprehensible to him.

      “Why, you see, the penny public require excitement,” said Mr. Smith; “and in order to get the excitement up to a strong point, you’re obliged to have recourse to bodies. Say your hero murders his father, and buries him in the coal-cellar in No. 1. What’s the consequence? There’s an undercurrent of the body in the coal-cellar running through every chapter, like the subject in a fugue or a symphony. You drop it in the treble, you catch it up in the bass; and then it goes sliding up into the treble again, and then drops down with a melodious groan into the bass; and so on to the end of the story. And when you’ve once had recourse to the stimulant of bodies, you’re like a man who’s accustomed to strong liquors, and to whose vitiated palate simple drinks seem flat and wishy-washy. I think there ought to be a literary temperance pledge by which the votaries of the ghastly and melodramatic school might bind themselves to the renunciation of the bowl and dagger, the midnight rendezvous, the secret grave dug by lantern-light under a black grove of cypress, the white-robed figure gliding in the grey gloaming athwart a lonely churchyard, and all the alcoholic elements of fiction. But, you see, George, it isn’t so easy to turn teetotaller,” added Mr. Smith, doubtfully; “and I scarcely know that it is so very wise to make the experiment. Are not reformed drunkards the dullest and most miserable of mankind? Isn’t it better for a man to do his best in the style that is natural to him than to do badly in another man’s line of business? ‘Box and Cox’ is not a great work when criticised upon sternly æsthetic principles; but I would rather be the author of ‘Box and Cox,’ and hear my audience screaming with laughter from the rise of the curtain to the fall thereof, than write a dull five-act tragedy, in the unities of which Aristotle himself could find no flaw, but from whose performance panic-stricken spectators should slink away or ere the second act came to its dreary close. I think I should like to have been Guilbert de Pixérécourt, the father and prince of melodrama, the man whose dramas were acted thirty thousand times in France before he died (and how many times in England?); the man who reigned supreme over the playgoers of his time, and has not yet ceased to reign. Who ever quotes any passage from the works of Guilbert de Pixérécourt, or remembers his name? But to this day his dramas are acted in every country theatre; his persecuted heroines weep and tremble; his murderous scoundrels run their two hours’ career of villany, to be dragged off scowling to subterranean dungeons, or to die impenitent and groaning at the feet of triumphant virtue. Before nine o’clock to-night there will be honest country-folks trembling for the fate of Theresa, the Orphan of Geneva, and simple matrons weeping over the peril of the Wandering Boys. But Guilbert de Pixérécourt was never a great man; he was only popular. If a man can’t have a niche in the Walhalla, isn’t it something to have his name in big letters in the play-bills on the boulevard? and I wonder how long my friend Guilbert would have held the stage, if he had emulated Racine or Corneille. He did what it was in him to do, honestly; and he had his reward. Who would not wish to be great? Do you think I wouldn’t rather be the author of the ‘Vicar of Wakefield’ than of ‘Colonel Montefiasco?’ I could write the ‘Vicar of Wakefield,’ too, but—”

      George stared aghast at his excited friend.

      “But not Oliver Goldsmith’s ‘Vicar of Wakefield,’” Sigismund explained.

      He had thrown down his pen now, and was walking up and down the room with his hands thrust deep down in his pockets, and his face scarlet with fierce excitement.

      “I should do the Vicar in the detective preRaphaelite style. Moses knows a secret of his father’s—forged accommodation-bills, or something of that kind; sets out to go to the fair on a drowsy summer morning, not a leaf stirring in the vicarage garden. You hear the humming of the bees as they bounce against the vicarage-windows; you see the faint light trembling about Olivia’s head, as she comes to watch her brother riding along the road; you see him ride away, and the girl watching him, and feel the hot sleepy atmosphere, and hear the swoop of the sickle in the corn-fields on the other side of the road; and the low white gate swings-to with a little click, and Miss Primrose walks slowly back to the house, and says, ‘Papa, it’s very warm;’ and you know there’s something going to happen.

      “Then the second chapter comes, and Mr. Primrose has his dinner, and goes out to visit his poor; and the two girls walk about the garden with Mr. Burchell, watching for Moses, who NEVER COMES BACK. And then the serious business of the story begins, and Burchell keeps his eye upon the Vicar. Nobody else suspects good Mr. Primrose; but Burchell’s eye is never off him; and one night, when the curtains are drawn, and the girls are sitting at their work, and dear Mrs. Primrose is cutting out comfortable flannels for the poor, the Vicar opens his desk, and begins to write a letter. You hear the faint sound of the light ashes falling on the hearth, the slow ticking of an eight-day clock in the hall outside the drawing-room door, the sharp snap of Mrs. Primrose’s scissors as they close upon the flannel. Sophia asks Burchell to fetch a volume from the bookcase behind the Vicar’s chair. He is a long time choosing the book, and his eye looks over the Vicar’s shoulder. He takes a mental inventory of the contents of the open desk, and he sees amongst the neatly-docketed papers, the receipted bills, and packets of envelopes—what? a glove, a green kid-glove sewn with white, which he distinctly remembers to have seen worn by Moses when he started on that pleasant journey from which he never returned. Can’t you see the Vicar’s face, as he looks round at Burchell, and knows that his secret is discovered? I can. Can’t you fancy the awful silent duel between the two men, the furtive glances, the hidden allusions to that dreadful mystery, lurking in every word that Burchell utters?

      “That’s how I should do the ‘Vicar of Wakefield,’” said Sigismund Smith, triumphantly. “There wouldn’t be much in it, you know; but the story would be pervaded by Moses’s body lying murdered in a ditch half a mile from the vicarage, and Burchell’s ubiquitous eye. I dare say some people would cry out upon it, and declare that it was wicked and immoral, and that the young man who could write about a murder would be ready to commit the deed at the earliest convenient opportunity. But I don’t suppose the clergy would take to murdering their sons by reason of my fiction, in which the rules of poetical justice would be sternly adhered to, and Nemesis, in the shape of Burchell, perpetually before the reader.”

      Poor George Gilbert listened very patiently to his friend’s talk, which was not particularly interesting to him. Sigismund preached “shop” to whomsoever would listen to him, or suffer him to talk; which was pretty much the same to this young man. I am afraid there were times when his enthusiastic devotion to his profession rendered Mr. Smith a terrible nuisance to his friends and acquaintance. He would visit a pleasant country-house, and receive hospitable entertainment, and enjoy himself; and then, when all that was morbid in his imagination had been stimulated by sparkling burgundy and pale hochheimer, this wretched young traitor would steal out into some peaceful garden, where dew-laden flowers flung their odours on the still evening air, and sauntering in the shadowy groves where the nightingale’s faint “jug-jug” was beginning to sound, would plan a diabolical murder, to be carried out in seventy-five penny numbers. Sometimes he was honourable enough to ask permission of the proprietor of the country mansion; and when, on one occasion, after admiring the trim flower-gardens and ivied walls, the low turreted towers and grassy moats, of a dear old place that had once been a grange, he ventured to remark that the spot was so peaceful it reminded him of slow poisoning, and demanded whether there would be any objection to his making the quiet grange the scene of his next fiction,—the cordial cheery host cried out, in a big voice that resounded high up among the trees where the rooks were cawing, “People it with fiends, my dear boy! You’re welcome to people the place with fiends, as far as I’m concerned.”

      Chapter 5.

       George at Home.

       Table of Contents

      The young surgeon went home to Midlandshire with his fellow-excursionists, when the appointed Monday came

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