The Wolf of Gambling - M.Trojan

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-regardless of the consequences- and it is for this reason that I want to save you from this suffering. I am not a writer who learned about life from books. I experienced it, I have had to experience poverty. I gambled and lost my money in a very targeted manner and I was only a few thoughts away from putting an end to it all. And believe me – it would not have deserved an Academy award. I would have left humanity quietly and secretly and the large majority would not even have noticed. I would have taken the question Why? with me to my grave – and it was this which gave me the necessary experience to state what every gambler hushes up.

      Consider reality in the right light and you will realize that it takes much more than just giving up gambling. The decision is the beginning; but it doesn’t stop there. The decision is the beginning because everything in life has a beginning as well as an end and in this case you can influence both. However, it is also clear that you do not have an endless amount of time for this. Do not delay unnecessarily. Finish that which may finish you; I think you know what I ‘m trying to say.

      There are a lot of things which we do not want to accept now; but still we have to learn how to deal with them. We do not want the people whom we love to leave us. However, finally, we have to let people go while the question Why? is probably never answered. You have more strength, more power and power reserves than you can even start to realize. You must and we will reveal your strengths without directly having to search for them – we will reawaken your strengths because they exist already.

      Gamblers and particularly ex-gamblers always report how they would have risked more in an extreme case and that they would even have jeopardised the family. This is precisely what is basically wrong. You put them at risk every day, as soon as you gamble. Of course, it may be the case that you have so far not jeopardised your family, but you risked doing so every day. Gamblers like us must become aware of what we do to ourselves and to others when we gamble away money.

      „Why does a gambler gamble away his money?” Every non-gambler will have asked themselves that question before. The gambler himself knows the answer and he knows it even when stating the opposite. He even knows the answer when he thinks he doesn’t. A gambling addiction does not have logical actions or ways of thinking; however, an addiction makes it possible to surmise certain actions. Being an active addiction counselor and a committed fighter against addictions, I have learned over the years that a gambling addiction can actually affect anyone. Regardless of the social class you belong to and regardless of age, the gambling addiction can hit you mercilessly as soon as you become addicted to a certain feeling – the feeling of self-affirmation. This feeling can be manipulated by means of the messenger substance dopamine which is released in the brain and in the reward system, it is responsible for the motivation of people. In the case of an addiction, you don’t reward yourself – you manipulate this natural process in order to receive a feeling of happiness in order to get away from the stressful every-day life. The human reward system helps people to achieve more motivation. There is probably nothing we would want to actually achieve without the reward system. Every action is basically anchored by a feeling of happiness. As a gambler you do not possess any motivation any longer; you don’t master every-day life any longer, but instead you are running away from it. Boredom becomes frustration and the feeling of not being able to achieve anything. This is the point when depressions contribute to the fact that we do not want to or are not able to activate our reward system in a natural way. A gambler usually does not notice the beginning of the addiction although dissatisfaction and a beginning depression are the major reason for it.

      Important! Depressions do not develop from the addiction; they are intensified by the increasing gambling addiction. In conclusion, depressions are not the result of a gambling addiction, but rather – a gambling addiction is the result of developing depressions. For this reason, anti-depressants may actually influence addictive behavior positively. If you are interested, you need to consult a doctor of your choice.

      I think the greatest difference between Germany and America is the fact that in Germany, you will experience mainly envy and mistrust while in America, people are happy for those who experience something good. Strangely enough, the citizens of both countries look the other way in the case of a slot-machine addiction. I was able to leave the addiction behind me; but it was very hard and I had to face a lot of adverse winds. Everybody tried to unsettle me and repeatedly gambling was glorified and sugar-coated. I believe, that in the United States, there is much more solidarity among people and this can be an advantage for you. In Germany, there is less solidarity and also little enlightenment. In America, only the enlightenment is missing because the solidarity already exists. Therefore, as an individual gambler, you can achieve a lot – even everything, for as long as you decide against gambling and instead want to improve enlightenment.

      It can hit anyone and - to be quite honest – it has affected too many already; at least, we are the living proof for the danger which emerges from a gambling addiction. However, we must rise and stop hiding the gambling addiction. Pretending it doesn’t exist is of no use to anybody except the gambling industry. Cause & effect, withdrawal & enlightenment. It is up to you – you are the key to the solution. Consider for a moment what you are currently achieving with gambling and then think about which of those achievements are actually worth mentioning. Very often you hear the saying: “It wasn’t all bad”, but what part of it was good? Since when can you regard the gambling away of money positively in any way? We, the gamblers, really punish ourselves with gambling; but we consider it to be something redeeming. In gambling there is no Happy end and it is this fact which you need to understand and accept.

      When I talk about my gambling addiction nowadays, it never takes very long until someone in the audience asks about how much money I gambled away in the course of time. In conclusion, there is the consideration of all the things I could have bought or what I would own today if I had never gambled. Well, I think everyone of us has at some point thought about these things. And it is these considerations which frustrate us because we automatically deduce that our life would have been good if we had never played. That may be true. However, it is also a fact that nobody can see into the future and for this reason one can affirm that we all make mistakes. It is not a question of always having a master plan for everything. It is all about accepting mistakes and making the best of the existing situation. What would have happened if...? is irrelevant because with this question we don’t want to achieve control, but rather punish ourselves. Since then, I don’t ask that question anymore; the question of whether I would still be alive if I had continued to gamble away my money is much more important. And this question allows me to perceive the present quite positively. It is the confirmation that I do have a future which I can determine myself to a certain degree. Very often, we hold on to what would have been if the addiction had not taken over rather than recognizing that things which happened in the past can unfortunately not be changed. We should not consider the gambling addiction as a kind of a stroke of fate. All that is to come; everything depends on the decision you make now. The gambling addiction does not make the rules. You do. It is not the gambling addiction, which will decide what you are going to achieve – it is you. Every wrong question or opinion will make you look in the wrong direction. You do not have to hold on to what would have happened if ...? Live in the present because only that is actually relevant. Learn to counteract negative situations, thoughts and questions; learn to act instinctively. It is not the ultimate answer which will give you your peace of mind, but rather an honest answer will do this. As soon as you are honest to yourself, the answer will then always be right, regardless of how hard it may sound.

      Cause and effect; addiction-trigger and addiction. The gambling addiction causes a systematic self-destruction. Nobody wants to admit to that voluntarily. Unfortunately, you will do everything possible so that the risky undertaking will bear fruit as quickly as possible. But how can the fun in the game turn into such a suicidal undertaking? In my opinion, it is due to the fact that you recognize the addiction or stress-trigger far too late – and even then you don’t want to accept it. In the course of the years, I have guided many people away from the slot-machines – doctors, lawyers, politicians, prostitutes, teachers, unemployed persons, journalists and many other professional groups are among them. All in all I can say that every social class is to be found. Regardless of rich or poor, middle class,

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