LITMIR.BIZ

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the other lamp-posts in the landscape (that’ll soon make your shoulder tired, too).

      Many drivers don’t stop but try to justify their behaviour in gestures. Some will draw a line across their throat, indicating that the car is so full you won’t fit in. Some will point their finger sideways, showing they’re about to take a turn. Others still will make more gestures to the effect that, you know, would love to pick you up, mate, but, sorry, can’t do it, mate, not me! Finally, no reaction from the driver means that the hitch-hiker is doing something wrong.

      There are ways to urge the driver to change his mind. If he cites not enough space, show with your hands you’ll make yourself small. If the driver indicates he’s about to turn, you can point in the same direction and nod (maybe your current spot is bad and you want to escape anywhere, even if it’s until the next junction) – or gesture that you want to be taken far. If you can tell by the number plates where the vehicle hails from and that’s also your destination, point to the plates. If you see the cargo area’s empty, indicate you want to get in there, etc. – so, do all you can fit in those five to seven seconds that you have to communicate with the driver. And if he doesn’t pull over anyway, don’t be upset, stay where you are and pick up another vehicle. At first, only one vehicle in thirty or fifty will stop for you – but that doesn’t mean hitch-hiking doesn’t work, it means your skills have room for improvement.

      Don’t wave down cars while walking, because when you walk, you are facing forward, and when a car appears, it does so from behind, and it’s uncomfortable to wave to it facing backward – you’ll end up turning back and forward all the time. So, if you choose to walk, walk, if you choose to stand and wait, stand and wait (and don’t forget to wave), but doing both is not productive. Most of the time, your destination will be hard to reach by walking and you will hardly at all gain by trying.

      With considerable traffic present (say, three or four vehicles every minute), quickly occupy a decent spot, don’t waste time and start waving. When the traffic is lighter (say, one in five minutes), choose the spot more carefully and get ready to become a fixture. Of course, when the traffic is close to zero (like one in an hour) and a curve or an inhabited locality lies ahead (along with the possibility of more vehicles), then walk, pricking your ears for surprises coming from behind.

      Signs. Some Europeans use signs with the destination written on them. Don’t do it in Russia. Remember that: 1) a sign is worth less than a good spot, because nobody will bother reading it while driving fast; and 2) if you wave a sign mentioning Irkutsk or some other faraway locality, you will «filter out» vehicles headed to closer destinations which might turn out very quick and useful. Hitch-hiking sages almost never use signs.

      Western hitchhikers

      How long will a typical wait take?

      There is no fit-all answer. Waiting time depends on your experience, equipment, spot quality, traffic, time of the day, season, region, country… and some randomness thrown in. Experienced hitch-hikers have got stuck for two or three hours in the daytime, at good spots; beginners have escaped from bad spots quickly. Don’t think about waiting time; thing about average speed. It is quite predictable and should be about 600 or 700km (370—440mi) per twelve hours spent on a well-paved highway in Russia.

      How To Behave In The Car

      To get the car to stop is just half the work; what remains to be done is to get it moving with you inside – and make the driver happy with his decision. Many beginners want to know: what to say to the driver? Here is one option:

      «Good morning, can you give me a lift down this road?»

      You will usually hear: «Get in» – or: «Where you wanna go?» I usually name my final destination: «Well actually I want to go to Moscow, but any place in that direction is okay.» The faraway place you name usually arouses interest and can become the subject of your conversation. Or you can say: «Could you take me some distance in the direction of Moscow?» The driver will drawl, expressing doubt: «To Moscow? I’m only going to Tuymazy» – or refer to any other obscure, nearby locality. You accept, and the conversation goes on with more incredulous drawling: «Moscow? Ain’t that takin’ you, like, forever?» – and so on.

      If I know that the nearest good spot is ahead of the city N, I say:

      «Good morning, could you give me a lift to the city N?»

      When you are in a city, or in the Caucasus, or in Central Asia, or in some foreign countries, or anywhere else where you worry the driver might be a cabby in disguise (which is how we call those who ask for money after giving you a lift), you say:

      «Good morning! Could you give me a lift down the road? I’ve nothing to pay with.»

      Or, after finding out where the driver is headed, say:

      «Can I go with you? No money!» (Or: «For free!»)

      And they will say, with a funny accent: «What money, schmoney, what’re you talking about! Get right in, my friend!»

      Or you can say: «Good morning! Are you headed straight? Can I go with you? – I’m a hitch-hiker!» – or: «Good morning! Could you take a hitch-hiker in the direction of Chernyshevsk?»

      «Who’s a hitch-hiker?» – the driver will possibly say. You explain, and there you are.

      Many people want to know what else to talk about with the driver.

      Avoid extremities. Some hitch-hikers will talk their heads off, spouting jokes and funny stories, some act out Silent Bob. But the true wisdom lies in getting the driver to do the talking. Sage hitch-hikers will calmly digest incoming information and ask questions, letting the driver go on and on and be happy to have struck upon such an interesting conversationalist (you).

      Conversation subjects can be different. Ask the driver where he is going, and then say you want to know more about the place. What’s worth seeing? Is it a historic place? How’s life for the locals? What are the living expenses? How long will it take to get there? If you’re talking to a lorry driver, ask if he’s been to the places you are interested in recently. And how long has he been hauling stuff around? And where was he employed before that? Let him tell you at length how spectacularly that particular Soviet industry collapsed (doesn’t apply to the younger ones any more).

      If it’s a used western car just purchased in Europe, ask about life in the West. Remind that life in Russia is better. If it’s a fancy brand, ask about its advantages. Ask how often the traffic police become an annoyance. In a word, make the driver talkative.

      If you like music, bring your favourite records and offer to play them, especially if both of you are tired of the tracks most heard on the road.

      Drivers are an invaluable source of information about road features, passing cities, and sometimes about local places of interest. Don’t miss the opportunity to extract all this from them. You’ll learn more in this manner than if you keep telling one and the same life story to everyone. And if the driver becomes interested in you – then you’ll be even more pleased with your conversation.

      If it’s night time, the driver has probably picked you up just to keep awake by interesting conversation. So don’t fall asleep in a moving vehicle!

      Many beginners are worried about paying the driver. It is easy to observe, however, that most drivers in Russia and many ex-Soviet countries don’t demand (or expect) any payment! Even in vicinity of big cities (such as Moscow and St. Petersburg), only some 10% or less ask for money. A «cabby,» as we call them, will say immediately: «How much will you pay?» If that didn’t happen and you’re getting in, the issue will likely never arise again. (However, if you are inside a city, it can be the silent implication that you pay your fare, so warn the driver immediately!)

      If

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