LITMIR.BIZ

      You see what I have to go through with Drover? I had received the alarm from Data Control and was trying to call him into action, using some new and interesting terminology from naval life, and he . . . I don’t know what he did or how he did it, but this happens all the time. He gets me so twisted around, I find myself . . . well, blabbing nonsense.

      You heard the whole thing, so you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes I think the little moron is trying to make a mockery of my life.

      Oh well.

      The important thing is that I managed to sneeze control of the situation and get things moving in the right direction. We launched ourselves into the morning breeze and went streaking northeastward on a compass heading of 3400. Once airborne, I gave the order to start sending out some Stage One Barkings, just to let the enemy know that we were . . .

      Yipes. The pickup came barreling down the hill, heading straight toward us on a collision course, so I sent out an urgent message to begin Evasive Action. In a flash, we throttled down and leaped out of the roadway, just in time to . . . cough . . . eat dirt kicked up by the tires of the smarty-pants pickup.

      Hey, who and where did that guy think he was? For his information . . . holy smokes, no sooner had the first pickup rumbled past than another appeared right behind it, and then another. And another. What was going on around here? It was just barely daylight, so what were all these people doing on my . . .

      Okay, relax. You thought it was some kind of invasion of the ranch? Ha ha. Not at all. No, it turned out to be . . . have I ever mentioned that it’s hard for a dog to do a proper job of running his ranch when nobody tells him what’s going on? Well, it’s not only hard, it’s impossible.

      Here’s the deal. Slim and Loper, the cowboys on this outfit, had set up a branding day. They’d called all the ranchers and cowboys in the neighborhood to come and help with the work. So far, so good. I have no problem letting those guys play a small role in planning things around here. Give ’em a few little jobs to keep ’em busy and they’ll stay out of my hair. But this!

      See, they’d planned the whole day’s work, they’d called everybody on the creek, BUT NOBODY HAD BOTHERED TO CLEAR IT WITH ME. So all at once we had all these unauthorized pickups pulling into ranch headquarters at daylight, and there I was . . . well, running around and barking like an idiot. How do you suppose that made me feel?

      It made me feel pretty silly, is how it made me feel. Obviously we’d had a major breakdown in communications somewhere along the chain of command. Obviously someone on our ranch didn’t think it was important to let the Head of Ranch Security know what was going on.

      As the pickups rolled into headquarters one after another, I marched over to where Drover was standing. “This is outrageous. They expect us to protect the ranch and keep records on everyone who comes and goes, but then they cut us out of the loop.”

      He glanced around. “What loop?”

      “The loop, Drover. Everyone knows what the loop is.”

      “You mean the loop in a cowboy’s rope?”

      “No, that’s not what I mean at all. I’m talking about the Loop of Communication.”

      “You mean . . . ropes can talk?”

      For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. “Let’s drope it, Dropper.”

      “My name’s Drover.”

      “I’m very much aware of your name. It comes up every time there’s a disaster on the ranch.”

      “Yeah, but you called me ‘Dropper.’ It kind of hurts my feelings.” He hung his head and sniffled.

      “All right, I’m sorry I called you Dropper.”

      “Are you really?”

      “No. And to be perfectly honest, I think Dropper would be a better name for you than Drover.”

      “I think it sounds dumb.”

      “That’s the point.”

      “You mean . . .”

      “Never mind. Do you realize what’s going on here?”

      He glanced around. “Where?”

      “Here. There. All around you, right in front of your nose.”

      He crossed his eyes and . . . I couldn’t believe this . . . he looked at the end of his nose. “Well, a big fly just landed on my nose, and he’s green. But I still don’t see the loop.”