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The Case of the Monster Fire. John R. Erickson
Читать онлайн.Название The Case of the Monster Fire
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781591887713
Автор произведения John R. Erickson
Жанр Учебная литература
Серия Hank the Cowdog
Издательство Ingram
“Sorry, Woodrow. I appreciate the offer.”
“That’s all right. Viola didn’t figure you’d go for it, so she’ll talk to the banker herself. See you around.”
He went out the door. Slim sat there for a moment, then flew out of his chair. It kind of caught me by surprise and, well, I fired off three barks. He sailed out the door, I followed, and we caught up with Woodrow as he was about to get into his pickup.
“Hey, did you say she’s going to sign a note to buy some heifers?”
“That’s right, ten head of bred heifers. She’ll meet with the banker. You don’t have to do a thing but stay out here and preach thrift to that dog.” He glared down at me through shaggy brows. “You’d better preach good, ‘cause he don’t look too smart.”
What? Who?
He climbed into the cab and started the motor. Slim banged on the window. Woodrow rolled it down. “What?”
Slim dug his hands into his pockets and took a big breath. “Okay, I’ll talk to the frazzling banker.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure I got ambushed. When does this take place?”
“We’ll pick you up in an hour. Take a bath and do something with that hair. Do you own any decent clothes? Wear ‘em. Just because you’re a pauper don’t mean you have to look like one.”
He drove off, didn’t roll up his window or say goodbye, and left us in a cloud of dust. Slim fanned the air in front of his face and muttered, “Thanks, Woodrow, for putting me on the road to the Poor House.”
He trudged back to the porch, walking like a sad old man, all bent over and frowning. I must admit that I didn’t understand any of that conversation, except the part about taking a bath. Maybe that was it. He had to take a bath and it wasn’t even Saturday. That can put a guy into a dark mood, I guess.
It really didn’t matter if I understood or not. Dogs don’t understand half of what goes on with our people, but that’s just part of the job. What matters is that we’re there to walk beside them. We’re there when they need us.
I would walk with Slim all the way to the bathtub and give him comfort in his time of need. I might even drag his jeans into another room and fling them around in my jaws. I kind of enjoy doing that.
When he reached the front door, he speared me with his eyes and said, “No.”
No what? I hadn’t done anything.
“You stay outside. Stubtail will be right out.”
Well, gee, that seemed kind of harsh. How could he take a bath without…he went inside. A few minutes later, the door opened and Stubtail came flying out and landed on the porch.
He seemed on the virgil of tears. “He yelled at me and threw me out of the house!”
I marched over to him. “Good. Now we can get started on your court martial. Sit down and show some respect. This court finds you guilty of all charges.”
He blinked. “What charges?”
“The charges of which you’ve been charged of which, mainly being a little chicken.”
His head sank. “Oh, that. I was hoping you didn’t notice.”
“Of course I noticed! Every member of this jury saw you run from the field of battle.”
“Oh rats.”
“Do you admit the charge of the charges?”
“Might as well, if everybody saw it.” He started sniffling. “But you didn’t see the worst part.”
“You mean…there was more?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about it. I’m so ashamed!”
I began pacing in front of the witness, I mean, this sounded bad. “Okay, let’s get this over with. Tell this court exactly what happened, and don’t forget that you’re under oath.”
“You mean like oathmeal?”
“Exactly. Oathmeal is the most honest of all cereals, and that’s what we expect from your testimony. No whoppers, in other words.”
“Oh drat.”
“Please don’t use naughty language. Go on.”
He hung his head and wiped a tear out of his eye. “I wet under Slim’s bed.”
Those words hit me like a wooden nickel falling from the sky. I stopped pacing and stared at him. “You wet…Drover, how could you do such a thing?”
“It was easy. You told me there was a robot on the porch and it scared me so bad, I couldn’t hold it.”
“Why would you want to hold a robot?”
“No, the water.”
“Oh. Well, you wasted your water. There wasn’t a robot on the porch.”
“That makes it even worse.”
I paced around him and pondered all the evidence. I found it hard to keep from laughing. “This is ha ha shameful. Your honor, we the jury have come to a verdict.”
“Are you talking to me?”
“No, just listen and keep your trap shut. Your honor, we find the defendant guilty of being a little chicken and wetting under Slim’s bed.”
“Oh no!”
“But it’s so funny, we recommend no punishment.”
His jaw dropped. “No fooling? I don’t have to stand with my nose in the corner?”
“Drover, this is hilarious. Did Slim find the puddle?”
“Not yet.”
“Then you’re home free. Congratulations, son, you’ve beat the system by being a complete goose. This court is adjourned!”
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