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up as an idea!

       You considered it, didn’t you?

       What?! You’re ridiculous. Of course I did not consider taking Dog as my date to the Beatus dance.

       You thought about putting a bow tie on him, didn’t you?

       This conversation is neither here nor there. Stop passing me notes please. Miss Brockley is coming this way and I already have detention for a whole term.

       I think there are lots of people out there who would date you.

       Really? You do?

       Lesson number one about making friends and finding a date for the dance: play it cool. Seriously.

       Got it. Should I write this down??

       I was mocking you.

       Oh. You should be clearer about things like that.

       I’m going to go away now.

       OK! We can chat after class.

       You have detention, dummy. Email me when you’re home. Oh and, Anna?

       Yes?

       The only reason you wouldn’t be able to find a date to the dance is because no one in this school is good enough.

       Are you mocking me again?

       No.

       How can I tell?

       By asking me. I just told you I wasn’t mocking you.

       That was a very nice thing for you to say! Like seriously nice. Like a true best friend thing to say! You never say nice things!

       Don’t be embarrassing.

       I’m keeping that note forever.

       Don’t do that.

       I’m going to stick it in my diary. I don’t have a diary but I’m going to buy one ESPECIALLY so I can stick that note in it. And draw hearts around it.

       Stop this.

       And then one day I’ll blow it up into a massive poster and frame it.

       I would not put any of this past you. Leave me alone now. I’m not passing any more notes.

       Fare thee well, Jess! You are a true and wonderful friend who believes in me. I will spread your kindness far and wide. You have brought hope and love to a troubled soul. Bless you and your people.

       I strongly dislike you.

       ANNA HUNTLEY’S LIFE GOALS

       Compiled with personal commentary in day

       one of detention

       Spring term 2015

       1. Be a better person.

       I will try to be nicer to people, like Dad even when he’s being really annoying. And I will start doing nice things like talk to strangers on the tube or something. I can ask them about their day and their ambitions in life. Although I will try to do this without coming across like a crazy person, like that woman on bus route 45 who yells hello at everyone who gets on and actually just scares people. But I’m sure she’s just being nice.

       2. Go to Africa and hand out rice.

       I’ve been lucky in life to have a wonderful family (even if they are annoying a lot of the time) and wonderful friends (even though there are only two of them). Therefore, it is only right that I should give something back to the world. I’m sure they always need people to go to Africa and do good things like hand out rice. Note to self: search for charities online that organise trips to do good things like hand out rice.

      ‘What are you writing?’

      I frowned. I could tell that Connor Lawrence had been trying to see what I was writing ever since I got out my pen. He had strolled in late to detention – who is this carefree?! – and sat down next to me without bothering to take his headphones off.

      ‘Nice of you to join us, Connor,’ Mr Kenton had sniffed, not looking particularly bothered about it.

      ‘Nothing,’ I whispered back, trying to cover my notepad.

      ‘Looks like a list.’

      ‘It’s not a list.’

      ‘I can see it’s a list.’

      ‘Fine. It’s a list.’

      ‘What is the list of ?’

      ‘Are you always this nosy?’ I asked, trying not to sound too defensive but at the same time wanting him to leave me alone. This, after all, was the person who’d escalated Sophie’s strop at me about setting Josie alight into a full-on tantrum for the whole class to witness.

      ‘I’m interested,’ he replied, smugly.

      ‘It’s nothing important.’

      ‘What does it say at the top?’

      ‘It says you’re going to get us in trouble.’

      ‘Funny.’ We both looked up at Mr Kenton. His head was hanging down and his eyes were closed. A faint snore came from his direction.

      Connor grinned. ‘I think we’re safe.’

      I gave him an ‘end of discussion’ look and went back to my list.

       3. Find a date for the Beatus dance – the ideal would be Brendan Dakers but clearly, at this point, anyone would be an achievement.

       There will be more chance of this happening if I achieve point 1. Brendan Dakers isn’t going to be interested in someone who is not kind and thoughtful. Also he will probably be impressed by someone with cool skills (see point 5 below to nail this one) and by someone who is not a disaster and talks about interesting things (for example, their recent trip to Africa to hand out rice to those in need).

       4. Meet comic book world GOD, Stan Lee, and inspire a great comic strip about a girl keeping London safe from the threat of evil.

       Should this ever happen I will be content for the rest of my days and never complain about one single thing AGAIN. I promise not to say anything embarrassing to the man who created some of the best characters in the world. Note to self: does asking him to make me into a comic book superhero count as embarrassing? Confer with Jess.

       5. Learn how to do hip hop dancing.

       A necessary skill in life. Bound to impress pretty much everyone anywhere. Handy to pull out of the bag in an awkward or sad situation to make things better. Your friend just got dumped? Pull out the running man! Lost your homework the day it’s due in? Wait a second, let me pull out the running man! Hate your life? So does everyone! Pull out the running man!

       6. Save someone’s life.

       Preferably on land and not in the sea because I hate sea weed and jellyfish.

      ‘Wait,

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