LITMIR.BIZ

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and work her life out from that point forward. Also, this was something she could do on her own terms. If ever there was an opportunity to step back into her life, the way it used to be, the way she wanted it to be again, this was it. And it was true what they said about the very first step being the hardest.

      Looking into the faces of her friends, and over at Catie, the owner of the restaurant, she realized just how not alone she was in this. And it was time. She’d isolated herself for too long now. Months in rehab then hiding out in her cabin. She’d been through so much. But now was the right time to begin again. Suddenly, it all made sense. Surviving came in steps. It didn’t happen the way most people believed, in one great event or whoosh. It trickled in, a little here, a little there. This was one of those trickles. Although a big one. But when she realized that it was what she had to do and, more than that, wanted to do, a sense of calm fell over Fallon, the first real calm she’d felt in months. So, she reached across the table and squeezed Gabby’s hand. “Order the ginger ale. I’m ready to celebrate. And promise me you’ll tell little Mary that I’ll be making sure her mommy will get all the rest she needs for the rest of her pregnancy.”

      “Really? You’re going to take the job?”

      Fallon nodded, wondering if what she was feeling now was the calm before the storm. “I’ll try, Gabby. That’s the best I can give you right now. But I’m going to take it a day at a time, because that’s about the only way I can handle my life. So, if that’s agreeable to you and little Mary, I’ll start work as soon as you want me to.”

      Gabby winked at Dinah. “Told you so.”

      “You were betting on me?” Fallon asked.

      “Just the chocolate cake,” Gabby said, “and it’s Dinah’s treat. She was pretty sure you’d eventually say yes, but she thought it would take more persuasion.”

      Fallon laughed. “In that case, I’m going to order another piece to take home with me.”

      It felt good being there with friends, being involved in something again. She glanced out the window to the Three Sisters. She’d avoided looking at them since she’d been home, didn’t want to be reminded that her plane had crashed on the Middle Sister. Popular Indian lore said these three mountain peaks loomed over the valley, protecting everybody in their shadow. People here truly believed that. To be honest, she’d believed it too, until the accident. Now, to her, the Three Sisters were simply mountains. Yet in the brief glance she allowed herself she was surprised she wasn’t panicking. So maybe going back to work was a good thing. Maybe the calm she was feeling was real. She wanted it to be.

      “Bet or no bet, I’m glad you’re doing this,” Dinah said, putting her fork down halfway though her cake. “Eric and Neil are going to be thrilled.” Eric Ramsey was Dinah’s husband and Neil Ranard was married to Gabby; both men were doctors and co-owners of the White Elk Hospital.

      The three friends chatted on, until suddenly they were interrupted.

      “Fallon?” The familiar, deep voice cut through the talking at the table.

      Fallon gasped. Felt her pulse double immediately. She hadn’t seen or spoken to James in months, since just after her accident, when she’d made it clear that she couldn’t be in a relationship with him any more. Because he’d just discovered he had a son, and she’d had plenty of her own issues to deal with, things she couldn’t talk to James about. She’d done what she’d thought was best for both of them. But she was just taking her first steps back into normal life and she didn’t feel like she could deal with James now.

      “Fallon, how are you?”

      Suddenly, her lungs felt so tight that she couldn’t breathe and her hands were shaking so hard her muscles were practically seizing up. On top of it all, she was breaking out in a cold sweat. Head spinning. Chest aching. Nausea fast on the rise.

      “Fallon?” Gabby whispered, leaning into her. “Are you OK?”

      “Tell him to go away,” she whispered. “Please, I don’t want to see him.”

      Gabby looked back at Dr. James Galbraith, not sure what to make of this. “I don’t know what to tell you, James. She doesn’t want to see you.”

      “Please,” Fallon begged, refusing to turn around and look at him. “Just go away, James.”

      “You didn’t return my calls,” he said, as if there were no other women sitting at the table. He stepped forward, stood directly behind Fallon and bent down. “We spoke soon after the accident, when I told you about my son. But then I called every day, for weeks, left messages on your voice mail until you canceled that number, and you never returned my calls. E-mails bounced back.”

      “I was a little busy,” she said, turning her head away from him. “And I did leave you a message.”

      “Once. You said you were fine, that you were in a nice rehab facility, to please not bother you again. Then the next time I called I got the message that your cellphone number was no longer in use.”

      She scooted down in her chair, wanted to crawl under the table. “What are you doing in White Elk?” she asked.

      “James is the new pediatrician at the hospital,” Dinah commented. “He applied months ago, back when you were…” She stopped, glanced helplessly at Gabby.

      “I’m so sorry, Fallon,” Gabby said. “I wanted to tell you…but not yet. Neil and Eric hired James a while back, pending the completion of the new pediatrics wing. Now that it’s completed, James is head of Pediatrics.”

      “And no one told me?”

      “How could we?” Gabby said. “Fallon, you’d turned your back on everyone. Practically went into seclusion. And you made it clear to everyone that your relationship with James was over. But he was already hired before we knew that, and Neil and Eric weren’t going to go back on their commitment to him. They wanted James from the moment they read his résumé. Knew he was perfect for the job. But with what you’d gone through…how could we tell you he’d moved here?”

      Fallon looked up at James. “Why did you leave Salt Lake City? Why did you move here?” she asked.

      “White Elk is where I wanted to be, Fallon. The way you talked about it when we were together, then what I found out about the hospital, how good it was, what a dynamic pediatric department they were setting up…”

      “And me? Did I factor into that anywhere?”

      Taking the cue, Gabby and Dinah slipped away from the table, not even seen by Fallon as they hurried out the door.

      “Yes. At first, when I thought we were going to be together…Well, after we drifted apart, I still wanted to be here because the more I learned about White Elk, and the more I knew the reputation of the hospital, the more I wanted to work here. You knew how bad my job was in Salt Lake…the hours, the demands. It was driving me crazy. I wasn’t advancing, wasn’t getting to practice the kind of medicine I wanted because I was always the backup for my medical partners. And this…it was everything I’ve ever wanted in my medical practice and I couldn’t walk away from it just because you’d walked away from me. But I didn’t mean to upset you over it because, well…I thought we could still work things out between us.”

      “No, we can’t.” She started to twist, to look at him, but caught herself in time. Oh, how she wanted to look, though. To remember, to lose herself in him. Tall, with sandy blond hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes…eyes as clear as a mountain lake. But she couldn’t. Wouldn’t. She’d loved this man. Had wanted to spend a life with him. Then she’d let him down in ways he could never know about, ways that were so painful to her she didn’t want to be reminded of what she’d done.

      James straightened up, squared his shoulders, cleared his throat to break the tension of that awkward moment. “You wouldn’t talk to me, Fallon. Wouldn’t let me talk to you. I know you must have gone through hell after the accident, but you just withdrew from me. All that time we’d

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