LITMIR.BIZ

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I’m asking, but you know I wouldn’t if I had any other choice. It’s just for however much time Jay has left. It will also give me some time to get my place ready for a baby. Our house has a nursery ready to go.”

      Scarlet’s already pale skin seemed to blanch at his words. “Evan’s nursery? You want to put Luna in Evan’s room?”

      Mason’s jaw tightened. Scarlet’s protection of Evan’s space was something that he’d never challenged before. He knew it wasn’t healthy to keep the room like a shrine to a child who was never returning, but pushing the issue with her seemed like a cruel fight to pick.

      “It’s an unused nursery,” Mason clarified. Evan was never going to use it ever again. It was just a room with a crib, a changing table, and some baby supplies and toys that would help ease the situation they were in. “I’m not saying Luna has to stay there forever.”

      Scarlet’s lips flattened into a tight line of displeasure, but she didn’t argue with him. Instead, she seemed to be considering his request for a moment, finally dropping her arms at her sides. “Okay, fine. You can stay at the house and bring Luna. But,” she emphasized, “I’m not going to be your nanny, Mason. I’ve got a new gallery opening in San Francisco in two weeks, not to mention a large commissioned piece for a hotel in Maui. I’m behind on it because of everything that’s happened between us and I have to get it done.”

      “That’s fair,” Mason said cautiously. “What do you need to make this work for us?”

      “I’m happy to keep up appearances for Jay’s sake, but you need to get a nanny to take care of Luna. I won’t—no, I can’t—go into Evan’s room. I don’t even like the idea of Luna using it, but I know that’s unreasonable. You can use it, but don’t expect me to be in there singing lullabies and rocking Luna to sleep. Please don’t ask me to.”

      Mason watched as frustrated, glassy tears formed in Scarlet’s eyes. It had been over a year since the judge awarded Evan back to his biological mother, but it may as well have been yesterday as far as Scarlet was concerned.

      He had hoped that she might enjoy the time with her niece, but that didn’t appear to be the case. She actually seemed repelled by the idea, which surprised him, but he wouldn’t push the issue. If she agreed to the two favors that really mattered, he would find a way to make it work even if Scarlet was hands-off with Luna.

      “I understand. Thank you for doing this. I’ll see about a nanny first thing in the morning.”

      “Where is the baby now?” she asked.

      “With my parents.” It gave them something to focus on other than the grief. Luna was the same happy baby she always was. For her, nothing was different and that was a good distraction for them. “They’ll probably keep her until Rachel’s memorial service.”

      Scarlet nodded and reached into her purse. She pulled out a key and handed it to him. “This is to the house. I had the locks changed after you moved out. Just let me know you’re on your way before you show up. Remember this isn’t your place anymore.”

      Without another word, Scarlet turned and headed toward her car in the hospital parking lot. Mason watched her drive away with an aching feeling of disappointment in his stomach. He hadn’t been able to shake that feeling the last few years of their marriage as they battled to start a family. He’d hoped that maybe when they were apart, the feeling would go away. It only got worse.

      Scarlet had agreed to do him these favors, but he could tell she didn’t want to. She had loved her little niece, but she resisted the idea of being hands-on with her. He hadn’t had time to ponder the possibilities of what Luna could mean for their relationship, but it was clear that those ideas would just be fantasies. She didn’t want anything to do with Luna. She wanted a child of her own. Once they were divorced, there was no reason for her to even pretend to be a family. Hell, that was why he’d left in the first place, so she wouldn’t be held back from her dream.

      That meant that once Jay passed away, Mason was going to be raising his niece all on his own.

      A feeling of overwhelming panic started to wash over him. It felt like the first time he’d caught a huge wave surfing and had been engulfed by the harsh cone of water. He could only brace himself for the inevitable wipeout, knowing he was in way over his head.

       Two

      “You just need to go in there. Get it over with.”

      Scarlet turned to her manager, April, with a frown. They were sitting on her poolside deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. “All right, you’re cut off. No more wine for you.” She picked up the bottle of chardonnay from the table and moved it out of her friend and employee’s reach.

      “I’m not drunk. I’m serious, Scarlet. Do it right now. I’ll even go with you. Just open the door and step into the nursery. I think once you do it you’ll feel better. It’s just a room. It doesn’t have any power over you that you don’t give it.”

      “Thank you, Dr. Phil. I’ll take that under consideration, but I’m not going in there right now.” April was Scarlet’s best friend, but she was regretting confiding in her about her latest situation with Mason. She was from the school of tough love and wouldn’t pull any punches if she thought Scarlet needed to hear the truth.

      “Does anyone go in there? Ever?”

      “The housekeeper goes in to clean once a week.”

      “Did Mason ever go in there?”

      Scarlet hesitated to answer, the memories of that night flooding through her mind like it was yesterday. “He did once. The night they took Evan away. He sat on the floor and cried. Losing Evan was hard on us both. Adopting that beautiful baby boy was a dream come true for us after struggling so long with infertility and sitting on the waiting list to get a baby. It was the best four months of my life. And then when the mother changed her mind...”

      April reached across the table and took Scarlet’s hand. “I know it was hard on you. And I’m not going to be the jerk who tells you to move on and forget about him, because that’s never going to happen. You loved that little boy more than anything. Hell, I couldn’t get you to put him down long enough to paint. But I do think that you’re being unreasonable about the nursery. It’s just a room filled with furniture like any other room. Once Mason and Luna move out, maybe you need to redecorate.”

      Scarlet snatched her hand away. “Redecorate?”

      “Yes. Donate the furniture and baby clothes to a needy family. Paint the walls. Maybe turn it into an office or a yoga studio. Something that won’t haunt you every day about what you lost.”

      Scarlet took a large sip of wine and sat back in her Adirondack chair. April was right. She knew she was right. She just hadn’t been able to make herself do it. In her heart, it was Evan’s room. It was their chance at a baby, as brief as it was, and changing that room meant that she was giving up on that part of her life. Or at least it felt that way.

      “After they move out, I’ll consider it,” she agreed reluctantly. That answer would hopefully be enough to appease April, but not require her to march into the house and do something about it right that instant.

      April gave her a satisfied smile and took a bite of the homemade guacamole and chips she’d brought with her for their girls’ night in. “When is Mason moving in?”

      “The funeral service for Rachel is tomorrow, so probably tomorrow night or the next morning.”

      “Are you prepared for having your soon-to-be ex-husband living in the house again?”

      Scarlet sighed. She wasn’t really sure how she felt about it. “It’s hard to say. This whole situation is so complicated. On one hand, he hasn’t been gone that long, so having him back in the house may just feel like he’s been on an extended business trip. Then again, he’ll be in the guest

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