LITMIR.BIZ

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dark.

      If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend he was Gabe. Pretend it was her mate’s body that responded to hers. And suddenly, she wanted one last opportunity to be with Gabe. To pretend he was still a part of her.

      Becca rolled, covering Rick with her body and moving against him.

      His voice held a strangled quality when he said, “This isn’t right.”

      Holding his gaze, she said, “Nothing’s been right for six days. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. Before today, I couldn’t cry…except for when I broke the glasses. And you took that small comfort from me. You owe me.”

      Rick’s shock mirrored her own. It was such an un-Becca-like thing to say.

      She didn’t give him time to refuse. She captured his mouth with hers. His protest was smothered by her onslaught, the dance of her tongue inviting him, allowing him the illusion of choice. But already she was hot and wet and proclaiming what she needed. She moved her hips against him as she reached to unbutton his dress pants.

      Emotions flooded her. Anger. Remorse. Need. The raw energy of being alive. And the power of being in control. Because Gabe’s death had proven she had absolutely no control over the course of her life. Only this small moment in time.

      Becca was determined to experience it all. She reveled in cupping her palm against the front of his pants, but the fabric was in the way. She needed to feel him, warm, pulsing, alive.

      Closing her eyes, she unzipped his pants and encircled him with her hand.

      She ignored the harsh sound of his indrawn breath and focused on the life beneath her fingertips.

      “Bec, this isn’t—”

      “Shh.” She opened her eyes, holding his gaze. “Please help me to forget this awful day.”

      He grasped her wrists. “Think about what you’re asking.”

      “Don’t you understand? I can’t think. Because if I do, I’ll have to admit that Gabe is never coming back.” Becca angrily dashed away the moisture on her cheeks, leaning close and shifting so she straddled him. Her voice was low and hoarse when she said, “We don’t think. We just feel. Anything but hopelessness. Help me, Rick?”

      BECCA’s PLEA cut through Rick’s confusion and went straight to his groin. Where her closeness had initially stimulated an automatic response, now he wanted her with a ferocity that nearly unhinged him. Instinct guided him as he pushed her dress up over her hips, groaning at the sight of her black thigh-high stockings against her pale skin.

      The only thing Rick knew was that if he didn’t sink into her right now, he was going to die.

      Becca leaned close and he cradled the back of her neck with his hand, drawing her down for a deep, scorching kiss. Her fevered response almost sent him over the edge. He groped her thigh and higher, his fingers searching for the panties he knew stood between him and that wet, warm place where he needed to be.

      As if sensing his loss of control, Becca drew back with a moan of frustration, snagging her panties and trying to wiggle out of them. He couldn’t wait that long.

      Then he realized he was still wearing his briefs. He thanked his lucky stars he was ambidextrous as he freed himself while fumbling for the wallet in his back pocket.

      “Done!” Becca crowed, tossing aside her panties.

      Black, he noticed.

      She straddled him again, maneuvering so that his tip was nestled against her warm, moist, totally ready entrance.

      His body surged, intent on answering her invitation in a big way. Everything seemed surreal, as if it were happening to someone else. Suddenly the woman who had been his friend for years was almost a stranger. The last shred of reassuring familiarity exploded into white-hot need.

      “Protection.” That was Rick’s last rational thought as he retrieved the condom and ripped open the packet with his teeth.

      Becca threw back her head and undulated her hips, torturing him with the promise of completion so close at hand. She made impatient little noises that had him wanting her all the more.

      Rick rolled the condom on—at least he was pretty sure he rolled it on—the split second before Becca lowered herself onto him. Or maybe it was right before he grasped her hips and plunged into her. It was all such a blur, he could never be totally sure. He only knew that he was finally exactly where he needed to be.

       CHAPTER TWO

      RICK GLANCED UP from a sheaf of rental agreements in time to see Becca enter the small reception area. The support staff and rental agents crowded around her, offering hugs of encouragement.

      It had been a week since Gabe’s funeral and Rick was still in shock. Saying a final goodbye to his friend had been wrenching. Almost as wrenching was his own behavior afterward.

      Becca glanced in his direction and their gazes connected through the glass. He nodded. She waved hesitantly and turned away. It was one of the few times he’d noticed Becca being reserved. She usually had an open, girl-next-door quality that drew people to her.

      Releasing a sigh of relief, Rick hoped she would leave without coming to see him. He had no idea what he would say to her. Should he apologize? Ask if she was okay? Pretending it never happened wasn’t an option. He only wished his own emotions weren’t so confused. Guilt was at the top of the list, along with a slightly foolish feeling for losing it that way. He’d crossed a line.

      His hopes of avoiding a confrontation were dashed a few minutes later when Becca tapped on his door and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

      A part of him was afraid she might want a repeat performance. But, having analyzed the situation from every possible angle, he found that unlikely.

      “I thought we should talk about what happened after the wake,” she said.

      “Becca, I—”

      She raised her hand to stop him. “I’m so sorry, Rick. I put you in a horrible position, took advantage of our friendship…dishonored my husband.” The catch in her voice made him wince, as did her remorse.

      Rick stood up, uncertain whether or not to go to her. “I’m as much to blame as you.”

      She gave him a warning look. “No, you’re not. I threw myself at you…I don’t know what came over me. But I apologize and hope we can work together without this affecting the business.”

      He admired the way she stood straight and accepted responsibility. He’d known Becca for more than ten years, though, so her attitude shouldn’t have surprised him. Her integrity was rock solid. Being seduced by her a few hours after her husband’s funeral didn’t erase that knowledge.

      “You were out of your mind with grief. I…should have reacted better.”

      Her eyes blazed. “You reacted exactly how I needed you to react. I nearly begged you, remember?”

      “That part’s a little hazy. I just remember it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

      Maybe that was a simplified version, but it was better than nothing. In those moments on the kitchen floor with her, all he’d known was that he needed what she’d offered and she’d obviously needed him. Not for physical release. But to connect with another living, breathing being when so much had been taken from them.

      Becca stepped closer to his desk, leaning forward, her blond hair falling to her shoulders. Her voice was soft when she said, “We can’t go back and undo it, no matter how badly we may want to.”

      “Yeah.”

      “And I know we can never totally act as if it never happened.”

      Rick knew he would never, ever forget Becca holding him

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