LITMIR.BIZ

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he’d come to work for Dan. Nobody knew the details, but it was spoken of as proof of Jackson’s toughness, his determination to impose his own will.

      ‘But it was this,’ she murmured. ‘Protecting a baby seal. Who would believe it? Except me. I’d believe it, because he protected me.’

      She’d accused him of being driven only by guilt, and he’d never denied that he was troubled about the part he’d played. But there was more. He was a man who reached out to creatures in pain because he yearned to be needed. And perhaps some of that need was rooted in the unhappy childhood about which he’d confided in her and no one else.

      She had struggled to understand him and thought she’d succeeded. But she had failed. If she’d seen as deeply into his heart as she now did she would have drawn closer, perhaps close enough to be the woman he longed for and needed.

      She slipped away as soon as possible. Now she needed to be alone—to think about the way the world had changed yet again.

      Once in her room she paced back and forth, tormented by the knowledge that what she wanted most in life was slipping away from her—and it was her own doing. Would she ever see Jackson again?

      There was a knock on her door. Reluctantly she opened it, ready to drive away whoever dared to intrude on her sadness. Then she gasped.

      Stunned, she stared at Jackson, trying to believe what she was seeing. His face was tense, almost haggard. Where was the confident Jackson? Who was this man with an air of hesitancy, almost defeat?

      She had a feeling that at an unfriendly word from her he would turn tail and run, and she knew an impulse to reach out and say kindly, It’s all right. I’ll take care of everything.

      Instead she said simply, ‘Come in.’

      He hesitated, and she guessed the memory of their last meeting was still vivid in his mind. She took his hand and drew him into her room.

      ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘I won’t trouble you long. There are things I must say, and then I’ll go and not bother you again. But I beg you to hear me out first.’

      ‘You don’t have to beg me.’

      He answered not in words but with a wry smile that reminded her of all that had happened between them.

      ‘You don’t,’ she repeated. ‘What can I do for you, Jackson?’

      ‘I’ve come to do something for you—something I hope will make you glad.’ He drew a long breath. ‘Dan has been in touch with me.’

      She waited for the leap of her heart that this news would once have given her. But nothing happened.

      ‘He wants me to do a few programmes for him,’ Jackson continued.

      ‘But surely you’re under contract to Larry’s firm?’

      ‘Partly, but I can still do some freelance projects. I’ve had a couple of meetings with Dan, but they weren’t very productive about work. All he can talk about is you.’

      ‘Tell him not to worry. I’m not coming after him with a shotgun.’

      ‘He’s not worried about that. He’s more concerned about coming after you with a wedding ring.’

      ‘That’s a very bad joke.’

      ‘It’s not a joke. He keeps bringing the conversation around to you. He’s realised what a big mistake he’s made.’

      Freya stepped back and regarded him, trying to read his face. But it was unreadable. Inside herself the reaction to Dan’s name was the same as before. Nothing.

      ‘I think that’s really why he’s been in touch with me,’ Jackson continued. ‘He wants me to talk to you on his behalf.’

      ‘Then he’s got a hell of a nerve!’ she said indignantly.

      ‘Has he? I wonder...’

      ‘This makes no sense. If Dan wants to talk to me, why doesn’t he just call me?’

      ‘He’s afraid to. He thinks you’ll slam the phone down on him.’

      ‘Which I would.’

      ‘I don’t think so. Not at first anyway. You’d hang on a few minutes for the pleasure of hearing him crawl.’

      ‘Oh, yes, I’m known for my spite and vindictiveness.’

      ‘No, just for your ability to stand up to a man and refuse to take any nonsense. I know all about that from my own experience. But Dan doesn’t want to put a foot wrong.’

      ‘Why not? He’s put everything else wrong.’

      ‘Yes, I told him that. He understands that he must do this the right way, and I promised to talk to you.’

      ‘Then you’re mad. I’m not in love with Dan—if I ever was. That’s over—finished. I’ve told you this before.’

      ‘Yes, you’ve told me this before—again and again. Maybe too often, as if you were trying to convince yourself.’

      ‘Perhaps in the beginning, but not now.’

      That had only been her way of coping. At last she understood the difference between the shallow feelings Dan had inspired and the passionate love that had grown in her for Jackson.

      ‘Freya, listen to me. I’ve been thinking long and hard about why I never stood a chance of winning your love. And at last I know. I’d always suspected it, but I wouldn’t let myself face it because I couldn’t bear to. The fact is that you’ve never stopped loving Dan.’

      ‘Please—’

      ‘And he loves you. You can put the past right. Let me go back and tell him he has a chance.’

      ‘I don’t know how you can bring yourself to talk like this,’ she said in a fury. ‘This is all your protestations of love for me meant? How dare you?’

      At once his temper rose in response to hers.

      ‘You stupid woman!’ he snapped. ‘Don’t you understand that I’m doing this because I do love you?’

      ‘Handing me over to another man?

      ‘A man you love as you could never love me. A man who can give you all the happiness that I can’t. I want you to have that happiness more than I’ve ever wanted anything in the world.’

      The words were tender but his voice was harsh: the voice of a man determined to do things his way—even if he broke his own heart in the process.

      Freya tried to speak, but now the tears were coming fast enough to choke her.

      ‘Perhaps I really am stupid,’ she said huskily. ‘But I can’t get my mind around this.’

      His anger died. ‘It’s not your mind that needs to understand,’ he said quietly.

      ‘But my heart tells me that this is madness. Even if I believed in Dan’s love, that doesn’t change the kind of unreliable man he is.’

      ‘Your love can improve him, make him want to be better.’

      ‘And if it doesn’t?’

      ‘Then I’ll always help you in any way you want. I can go back to work for Dan, and if necessary I can knock some sense into him. And if you need someone to turn to I’ll always be there.’

      She stared at him, stunned by the implications of what he was suggesting.

      ‘But you can’t do that,’ she whispered. ‘It would spoil your career, swallow up your life, leave you with nothing.’

      ‘I have nothing now,’ he said simply. ‘As for my life—it’s yours. You can’t send me away because I won’t go as long as there’s even a hint that you might need me. And if I can believe that you don’t need me, I’ll just wait until it happens

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