LITMIR.BIZ

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hailed a horse-drawn carriage and helped her aboard. For a few minutes they sat enjoying the clip-clopping rhythm. He took her hand in his.

      ‘Freya,’ he said softly, ‘there’s something— I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to— Please understand and don’t hate me again.’

      ‘Hate you for what?’

      ‘This,’ he said, taking her into his arms.

      At once she knew that she’d wanted this ever since that night. One part of her mind told her she should be cautious and resist him, but everything else in her knew that she would never have forgiven him if he hadn’t placed his lips on hers, tenderly but insistently.

      Her response was beyond her own control, making her slip her hands up around his neck, then his head, drawing him closer so that her mouth could explore his more thoroughly. He made a soft, sighing sound and increased his fervour.

      ‘Freya?’ he whispered.

      ‘Yes— Yes—’

      Somewhere at the back of her mind a warning voice tried to say no, but she ignored it. She would be sensible another time, but for now she could only allow her feelings to take over, driving her towards him, ever closer, ever more desirous.

      ‘I’ve wanted this ever since last time,’ he murmured.

      ‘But you said—friendship—’

      ‘I know. But I was wrong. I can’t help it. It’s there between us and I can’t make it go away. Freya—’

      Whatever answer she might have made was silenced in the renewed pressure of his lips, moving fiercely over hers. Helplessly she abandoned all efforts at self-control and gave herself up to the pleasure that was coursing through her.

      It was a kiss of discovery for both of them.

      Jackson had followed her out in the hope of making this very thing happen, yet even he was caught off-guard by sensations and emotions. He’d imagined himself prepared for those feelings, but nothing could have prepared him for what was happening deep in his heart and his body.

      Horus had warned him that he was falling in love, but even Horus didn’t understand everything. The road that stretched ahead was one that he must negotiate by himself. Perhaps with her help.

      Freya felt as though everything was whirling about her. What was happening now was exactly what she had vowed she would never allow. But she seemed to have been transported to another world, one where her determination counted for nothing.

      She had enjoyed Dan’s kisses, but she knew now that he’d never given her this sense of conveying a secret message from his inner self. Willing or not, she responded, moving her lips in soft caresses, sending her own message from a part of herself she’d never known before.

      It was like becoming a different person with different thoughts and feelings in a different world. And she knew that she must become this new person—or refuse to become her to her own eternal regret. She must make the decision any moment now, but first she would allow herself to relish the joy that possessed her for one more moment—one more—one more...

      ‘We’ve arrived,’ Jackson murmured. ‘Let’s slip in quietly.’

      They managed to cross the lobby and go up in the elevator without being seen by anyone who knew them.

      At the door of her room she stood, hesitant.

      ‘Can I come in?’ Jackson whispered, moving closer.

      Unable to speak, she nodded and opened the door. He followed her in, closed the door and immediately took her in his arms.

      ‘I’ve wanted this,’ he murmured. ‘I was sure our time must come—and now it has. Don’t you feel that?’

      She couldn’t answer, for he was kissing her again, holding her tighter than before, his eyes, his mouth, his whole body full of intent. The moment was drawing near.

      Suddenly she drew a long, trembling breath.

      ‘No. Jackson. Wait.’

      ‘What is it?’

      ‘I—I don’t know, but I can’t— I’m not ready.’

      ‘We’re both ready. This has been waiting for us.’

      ‘No, please—’

      ‘Freya—’

      ‘Let me go.’

      ‘But I—’

      ‘Let me go, please.’

      She felt a fierce tremor go through him and for a moment she thought he would refuse. But then he dropped his hands and stepped back. He was breathing heavily, and she had the feeling that he was fighting for control.

      ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean this to happen. But I’m not sure— I need more time.’

      ‘All right,’ he said in a rasping voice. ‘Don’t worry. I’m going.’

      ‘Jackson, I’m really sorry.’

      ‘Don’t be sorry,’ he said. ‘There’s still a lot we don’t know about ourselves and each other. We’ll have time to find out and then—then will be the time for you to make your decision. I’ll be waiting for you, and I know you’ll come to me. Goodnight.’

      She was left looking at the closed door, shaking with the ferocity of her own reaction and the struggle within herself.

      She had wanted what was happening. Her whole self had seemed to cry yes. But without warning everything had gone into reverse. Yes had become no.

      And the reason, deny it as she might, was fear. Jackson had said there was still a lot they didn’t know. He was right. And one thing she didn’t know was whether she could risk falling in love again after the first disaster.

      Coward, she told herself scornfully. You keep telling yourself that you weren’t really in love with Dan. And you weren’t. You know that now.

      But she’d believed she was at the time. The devastation had been terrible, and too little time had passed for her to recover her courage.

      And courage mattered. Instinct told her that it would need every scrap of daring she could find to love Jackson. And just now she wasn’t sure she wanted to take the risk.

      He’d known how uncertain things were between them, but only she understood how uncertain they might always be.

      ‘I’ll be waiting for you, and I know you’ll come to me.’

      The memory of those words almost made her cry out in anger and frustration.

      How certain he was that her decision would be the one he wanted. Before she even knew it herself.

      She wouldn’t allow herself to think tonight. She lay down, seeking the release of sleep, but it was denied. Her mind was in turmoil, and after tossing and turning for half an hour she sat up, realising that there were raised voices coming from Amos and Janine’s room next door.

      She went out. The voices were sharper, revealing that a row was going on.

      She heard Amos snap, ‘You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.’

      Then he came storming out and stomped away down the corridor without seeing Freya. Quickly she knocked on the door, which Janine opened, standing back to usher her in.

      ‘Mum, what’s happened? What are you rowing about?’

      ‘The way he’s behaved to you.’

      ‘You mean that business with Dan? Don’t worry, that’s history.’

      ‘It’s not just that. You’d think he’d learn his lesson about interfering in other people’s lives, but no. Not him. He’s still trying to marry you off to Jackson.’

      ‘What?

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