LITMIR.BIZ

       16

      THE NEXT MONTH flew by as the facility on the eastern part of their property went up quickly. They got a lot of local interest, and Rina’s brother’s construction company was hired to redo the bunkhouses and make most of them into astronaut quarters. Lynn flew back and forth but mostly left overseeing the project to Jason and Molly.

      He wasn’t himself, but then he was still dealing with the possible loss of his dream and trying to adjust to the idea of a new role in NASA.

      Molly wanted to believe the way Jason smiled at her and talked about the facility’s future every night before dinner, but she saw past it. He wasn’t the kind of man who could spend the rest of his life so close to what he keenly wanted but couldn’t have.

      But on mornings like this when she was riding next to him checking fences, it was easy to delude herself that they would be together for a long time. That the love growing inside of her was really growing between them.

      “Sunrise is always my favorite time of day,” she said, handing him the thermos of coffee that she’d brought in one of her saddlebags.

      “Really?” he asked. “I like sunset.”

      “I knew that,” she said. That was when the stars and planets were prominent and Jason’s dreams of being up there were stronger.

      “Just like I know that you like to get out of the house first thing to beat the heat of the day.”

      “Well, it is Texas, and it does get hot in July.”

      “Yeah, it does. What’s on the schedule for today?” he asked.

      “Nothing. The construction crews are done. Rowdy, Rina’s brother, said that once NASA signs off on everything we’ll be ready for the interior fitting. Which isn’t his thing. So today everyone has the day off.”

      “Everyone?”

      “Well, Jeb has a skeletal crew doing the chores, but then we’re going to have a barbecue by the pond. Good food, swimming and celebrating.”

      “Sounds good,” he said. “Is Lynn here?”

      “She is, along with a few of the other experts that have been hired,” Molly said. “I was pretty excited that Jessie Odell agreed to do the survival training.”

      Jason smiled over at her. “I forgot you two knew each other. She’s one of your oldest friends.”

      “She is,” Molly said. She’d been worried about Jessie for the last year. Her longtime lover, Alexi Volkov, had died in his third attempt on Everest. Jessie had been climbing with him when conditions had turned hazardous and he’d fallen into a ravine. Molly had taken a few days to fly to her friend. Later, Molly’s dad had died and Jessie had come back to the ranch for a few weeks to keep her company. When the ranch was approved for the NASA facility, Molly had approached Jessie to see if she was interested in being involved in some way. Her friend had decided that she needed something new in her life, and this was it.

      “She is. I’m so glad she got this gig. She hasn’t been herself since Alexi’s death.”

      Jason turned to look at her, his hands resting on the saddle horn and a straw cowboy hat on his head. “What about you?”

      “What about me? I haven’t lost my lover, have I?” she asked.

      He shook his head. “But your dad died. How are you feeling now?”

      She thought about it. She was so different now from the woman she’d been six months ago when Dad had died or even since the beginning of May when Jason had come back to the Bar T Ranch. She thought she’d evolved. “I think I might be Molly 2.0. A new version of myself.”

      He threw his head back and laughed. “I guess that makes me Jason 4.0.”

      “I guess so. Are you happy?” she asked. “Sometimes I think you are, but other times...it feels like you’re trying too hard.”

      “I am trying,” he said. “That’s all I can do.”

      “I wish I could make this easier for you. Find a way to fix this.”

      “You can’t. All I can do is continue to work out and hope for the best,” he said.

      He pushed his hat back and looked over at her. She wasn’t sure she liked what she saw in his eyes.

      “I keep telling myself I have a very slim chance. But I doubt that much has changed since the preliminary tests in Houston.”

      “What if it has?”

      He looked at her and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I feel stronger. It doesn’t mean I’ll be cleared to go back.”

      But he still hoped he would be—she could tell. This wasn’t a surprise, but she felt hurt and embarrassed anyway that she’d been falling in love with him and he’d been biding his time. She should have known better. She did know better, but she couldn’t help herself and she definitely couldn’t deal with these feelings right now. She clucked to Thunder and loped away from Jason.

      But there wasn’t enough land even on 760 acres to run away from her emotions or her heartbreak.

      * * *

      JASON WATCHED HER go and knew he had to go after her. Working together to integrate the new facility with the ranch during the last month had been nice. More than nice. He’d seen a life he hadn’t thought he’d ever find. One that hadn’t been his dream but that he was coming to enjoy and feel more at home in every day.

      He hadn’t been completely truthful with Molly just now. Each week he sent a sample of his blood to Dr. Tomlin. She was watching his calcium levels and last night he’d gotten an email from her that said she saw some improvement. She’d also shared some new information about Candice’s blood work. Candice was scheduled to go back up to the International Space Station in one month’s time. She’d do a shorter stint, the shortest that NASA ran, just four weeks on the station, and then she’d be back for another evaluation. He wasn’t sure what all this meant for his prospects and he didn’t want to worry Molly until he knew for certain.

      But whatever happened, he knew he didn’t want to lose Molly. So he followed her across the fields. His horsemanship had improved drastically since he’d come back here in May.

      He pulled Carl—now his personal horse—to a stop as it struck him that leaving the ranch and Molly wasn’t going to be easy. His commitment to her wasn’t just something to get him through losing the career he’d always wanted, he realized, now that there was a possibility of him returning to active duty.

      But how could he say that to her? Despite everything they’d said to each other, she seemed to think that he was either going to stay on the ranch forever or it was over between them. Didn’t she?

      He clucked and nudged Carl with his heels to get him moving again and finally caught up with Molly at the pond. She’d dismounted and left her horse—a well-trained horse would stay even if the reins were just left on the ground rather than being tied to something. He did the same with Carl. He found Molly on the path and followed slowly.

      She turned when she heard his boot steps getting close and he noticed she’d been crying.

      “Molly.”

      She just shrugged and shook her head. “I want you to stay. I want to be enough for you and not have to compete with NASA. I know it’s selfish.”

      He reached for her, but she stepped back and he dropped his arm awkwardly to his side.

      “You are enough for me. Sometimes I think I’m not enough for you,” he said, tackling the easiest problem first. “These past months have been...an awakening for me. Never

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