LITMIR.BIZ

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sight of her. His mouth moved on its own accord, without permission from his mind. Lower. Lower still. Until he could taste the cotton candy lips that beckoned him.

      Sweet heaven!

      His entire body chose to rebel against his mind’s clear commands—hands off! His hands didn’t want to obey. They wanted to touch. His mouth wanted to consume. He wanted more. He needed more. She had turned him into a glutton—for punishment or pleasure, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both.

      Her lips moved in hungry response. Her fingers pushed past his hat and combed through his hair. His own hands moved to touch more, but instead of the hot flesh he was expecting, he got a handful of snow, dousing the fire immediately.

      Josh jumped to his feet. “I am so sorry, Mike. I don’t know what came over me.”

      So much for being in the clear about last night. You weren’t supposed to repeat the performance. That ominous pit in his stomach returned with vengeance. Guilt and betrayal consumed him. When would he finally learn? The last time he’d allowed himself to get this out of control, this unguarded with Micah, horrible, unthinkable things had happened. And she had paid the price. He couldn’t do it.

      He could tell she was still lying in the snow, but he refused to turn. He didn’t want to see the shocked expression on her face. He returned to the task at hand and cleaned off the remainder of her car as quickly as he could, fully aware of her movements as she finally stood and brushed herself off.

      Josh was so disgusted with himself. He ran a rough hand over the back of his neck. He needed to get out of here. Pretend this never, ever happened.

      * * *

      Micah was a mess.

      Her drunken kiss with Josh could be laughed off as a moment of stupidity fueled by too much tequila. Her dreams, which were so hot she feared her sheets would catch fire, could be ignored. Okay, maybe not ignored, but at least kept hidden from anyone and everyone.

      But it was something else entirely when she kissed him in broad daylight in an empty parking lot without any excuse or hope of explanation. There had been no tequila to blame it on this time.

      She couldn’t erase from her mind the look of disgust evident on his face when he’d jumped up to get far away from her. The thought made her sick. She had made an utter fool of herself in front of the most important person in her life.

      Tears pooled in her eyes before overflowing and streaming down her cheeks.

      “Oh, Mikey. What’s wrong?”

      Micah hadn’t even realized Sabina was home. She looked up at Sabina’s concerned expression.

      “Is it Drew?”

      Why did everyone always assume it was Drew? Sure, she still missed him. And in moments like these she missed him more than usual—not him personally, but the idea of him. It was easier to be part of a couple. You didn’t have to go through as much heartbreak, like what she was experiencing now.

      “You know what? There’s something I need to go do.”

      “Okay...you want me to come with you?”

      “No. I need to do this one on my own.” Micah jumped up and headed to the door, grabbing her phone and purse off the counter.

      “Call me if you need me.”

      * * *

      It took a lot of courage. She had been fighting it for weeks, debating whether or not it was a good idea. But she gave in. It was something that had to be done. She had no hope of moving on until she did this.

      She pulled her car slightly off the narrow drive to allow other cars to pass if they happened to come this way. She parked right in front of the sign that read Devotion and stepped out into the brisk wind.

      It was a cold and dreary day. The skies were dark and gray, the clouds heavy with the possibility of rain. The weather fit the occasion.

      Micah walked through the grass, up a slight hill. Her footsteps weaved a path between headstones and grave markers. The names were all familiar to her, but only because it was a path she had traveled many times.

      Lowering herself to the ground, she swiped her hand across the cold, hard surface of his headstone. Her fingers gently traced each curve in his name. Stretching out, she laid her head in the grass next to the stone. It was something she had done many times before. She used to spend hours here, talking to the stone as if it could hear, as if it had a direct line to Drew’s ear. She had always been so desperate for a connection. Something. Anything.

      Micah had something to say to him now, and this had been the only place she could think of to do it. It seemed appropriate for a final goodbye. The last few months had been rough. She had gone from one extreme to the other, trying to find a middle ground with her emotions.

      It was time—time to let it all go.

      She inhaled deeply, breathing in the cool air, allowing it to calm her tumultuous heart. The ground below her was cold and hard, but she remained there, wanting to be close to him one last time.

      “Drew...” She spoke out loud to nothing but marble. “I’ve decided that it’s time I let you go. I don’t want to be in denial any longer or remain captive to memories of you. I don’t want to feel this anger and bitterness or this pain and loss anymore. Instead, I choose to accept the fact that you are gone. That that chapter of my life is long over and it’s time to look forward. I want to remember the good. You were a good man and you were good to me. I want to think back on you as a fond memory. I’ve loved you for most of my life and I know a part of me always will. But it’s time. I need to move on and make some new memories of my own.”

      She stayed there for a moment longer, letting it all sink in. She sat up, ran her hand across his name one more time. “Goodbye, Drew.”

      Rain began to fall, soft at first. It splashed on her cheek and mingled with her tears. She felt it glide down her face and drop to her chest. It was silly, but she had always considered rain to be a sign from the heavens. It was as if Drew was responding, letting her go, finally.

      She stood there in a place of previous devotion and let the rain envelop her. Turning her face up to the sky, she allowed the drops to cleanse her of the wreckage and the grief that had consumed her.

      Peace. She felt peace.

      * * *

      Feeling lighter than she had in years, Micah headed home. Of course, she hadn’t solved all her problems, but at least she was free of the burden that had weighed her down for so long.

      As she walked in the door, Sabina must have noticed the bounce in her step, too. “Well, whatever errand you just ran must have helped.”

      “Yes. It did.”

      “Good.”

      Micah’s phone chirped. Incoming text message.

      Can we pretend this morning never happened?

      It was from Josh. That was easy for him to say. Her phone chirped again.

      I don’t know what happened. I’m the worst friend ever. Forgive me?

      Should she just go with it, pretend she hadn’t gotten a small taste of heaven this morning? If she did it might rescue their quickly sinking friendship. If she didn’t, would she be saying goodbye to him, too?

      “Hey, Jamie will be here in, like, an hour. Wants to do coffee if you want to come.” Sabina interrupted her thoughts.

      “Um, yeah. Sure.”

      She looked back down at Josh’s text, torn.

      One goodbye was enough for today.

      All’s forgiven and forgotten. Don’t even know what you are talking about.

      Her phone signaled another message.

      You’re

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