LITMIR.BIZ

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“The last time we talked, you were hoping to get back together with her.” Sleeping with some other woman certainly didn’t prove his devotion.

      “I know … I love Ellie and I want her back.”

      “Then what were you doing with Lisa?”

      “It just sort of happened,” he mumbled dejectedly.

      Carol shook her head, barely able to take in what her brother was telling her. “You just sort of fell into bed together?” Her voice grew more agitated with every word. So this was the reason Ellie didn’t trust him. She’d hinted at the truth, but Carol had refused to listen, refused to believe that her big, strong, wonderful brother had clay feet—and a clay heart.

      “Say something,” Rick urged.

      Carol shook her head again, viewing her brother in an entirely different light. All these years he’d been her hero; now, all of a sudden she saw him for the weak charmer he really was. “You’ve certainly made a mess this time.”

      “Trust me, little sister, you can’t say anything I haven’t already said to myself. This ruins everything.”

      “And exactly whose fault is that?” she demanded. Unable to stay seated any longer, she jumped to her feet and started pacing the room. “You’re too smart to have unprotected sex, damn it!”

      Rick closed his eyes.

      “Does Ellie know?”

      “No!” He nearly shouted the word. “I’m not telling her, either, that’s for sure.”

      “What about Lisa?”

      “What about her? She’s in shock, too—apparently whatever she used for birth control failed.”

      “No kidding.” Carol was furious with her brother and too angry to care what he thought.

      She took a few minutes to adjust to the news. She sat down again and placed her hand over her mouth. Her brother hadn’t come to her so she could rant at him. He was clearly looking for some sort of direction, although she had no idea what to suggest.

      “You’re one hundred percent sure the baby is yours?”

      He nodded and studied his hands. “We’ve been pretty involved lately.”

      She swallowed a retort. “How far along is she?” she asked instead, her voice brisk.

      “She just found out. A month, I guess.”

      Carol flipped her hair away from her face and tried to concentrate. “When did she tell you?”

      “Yesterday. She phoned me in a panic and, hell, I didn’t know what to say. What could I say?”

      “Do you love her?”

      Rick considered her question for a moment, then slowly shook his head. “I care about her and I like her, but as for loving her, not really. I know I don’t want to marry her. Why should I marry her because she forgot to swallow some pill?” Rick’s expression was miserable, shocked and angry all at once. “I love Ellie,” he murmured. “It’s Ellie I want to be with, it’s Ellie I need in my life.”

      “Then you should’ve kept your pants zipped.” Carol didn’t mean to be crude, but her brother frustrated her. If he loved Ellie, truly loved her, he should be willing to do whatever it took to win her back. Sleeping with a flight attendant shouldn’t even be on that list.

      “If you aren’t going to marry Lisa, then what?” Carol asked.

      “I don’t know.”

      With her eyes opened, Carol confronted him, daring him to tell her the truth. “This isn’t the first time, is it?”

      “First time for what? If you’re asking whether I’ve fathered other kids, you’re wrong. I’ve always been careful, but Lisa said …” He let the rest fade.

      “I meant this isn’t the first time you cheated on Ellie.” Technically they were divorced, so it couldn’t really be considered adultery. “That’s the reason she filed for divorce, isn’t it?”

      Her brother looked up briefly and nodded.

      Rick stayed for an hour, and they talked while dinner went cold. He was still in shock and, frankly, so was she. Rick had always been her idol and in the space of a few minutes he’d tumbled from his pedestal.

      She ended up making steak sandwiches and coffee, and Rick left soon afterward for his hotel. He definitely needed sleep, but he and Carol planned to talk again the next day.

      Doug returned home an hour later, thrilled that the Mariners had handily defeated the Yankees. Carol told him about the visit from her brother and his devastating news.

      “It doesn’t surprise me,” her husband told her. They sat side by side on the sofa, Doug’s arm around her. “Rick’s always been a ladies’ man.”

      Carol found it hard to believe her brother could be so morally lacking. It was as if this person she’d grown up with and loved was a stranger. “You knew and didn’t tell me?”

      “I couldn’t. You always thought he could do no wrong.”

      Carol felt sick to her stomach.

      “He’s been doing it ever since I’ve known him. Fooling around with one woman while seeing another.” Doug held her close for several seconds. “The truth is, I’m not overly fond of Rick.”

      “Doug! How can you say such a thing?” Rick was the one who’d introduced her to her husband. They’d been college friends and dorm mates. But now that she thought about it, Carol realized Doug had never shown as much enthusiasm for seeing Rick as she did.

      “It’s true, honey. The only good thing that came out of the friendship was meeting you. I’ve never liked his ethics.”

      Carol let his words sink in. She was seeing her brother realistically for the very first time. He was a selfish little boy who refused to grow up. She wondered how many people had recognized it before her.

      Later, as Carol snuggled close to her husband in bed, she couldn’t help thinking about life’s many injustices.

      “Why is it,” she asked in a whisper, “that women who don’t want to get pregnant have such an easy time of it?”

      She felt her husband’s slight nod of agreement. “I wish I had an answer, sweetheart, but life just isn’t fair.”

      “No kidding,” she muttered for the second time that night.

      25

      CHAPTER

       ALIX TOWNSEND

      Alix slept late on Friday morning, lying in bed while the last remnants of sleep faded away. She was warm and comfortable and unwilling to move. Keeping her eyes closed, she let her mind linger on the kiss she’d shared with Jordan. Never in all her life had she realized a kiss could be so good.

      She’d been kissed plenty, and had lots of other experience, too. Still, no kiss had affected her like that one. The men she knew tended to be rough and sweaty and urgent in their need to dominate. She’d never known such sweet pleasure from a simple kiss. But then, she reminded herself, this could all be tied up with a childhood dream that had been shattered one night in the sixth grade.

      Even now, more than a week later, she remembered every nuance of his kiss. His hands had framed her face and his eyes had locked with hers. She’d seen his look of surprise—and uncertainty. They’d parted soon afterward, and it almost seemed to her that they needed to get away from each other in order to assimilate what had happened.

      Alix hadn’t seen Jordan since, hadn’t talked to him, either. She tried not to dwell on that. Unsure what prompted her, on Sunday morning Alix had walked over to the Free Methodist church Jordan had mentioned. She stood across the street and chain-smoked

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