LITMIR.BIZ

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on the kitchen bench.

      Was he planning on hanging around in the kitchen while she cooked?

      She’d been surprised that he was free tonight. He’d barely been home all week. She’d heard him come in late at night but he definitely hadn’t been home for a meal and she’d expected he would have other plans. She’d wondered if he had been deliberately avoiding her and had thought about shooing him out of the kitchen now, but dinner would only take five minutes so she may as well enjoy his company. Sitting home alone was no fun.

      The house had been far too quiet this week without Seb. She still wasn’t used to being on her own. After her divorce she’d formed a habit of eating at her parents’ house a couple of times a week or sharing a meal with Flick. But being in Sydney, where she didn’t have a large network of friends, had made her nights long and lonely. She’d never really been on her own before and she’d discovered she didn’t like it. But that didn’t mean she was going to fall for the first guy to cross her path. She needed to develop some resistance along with her independence.

      She sipped her wine, hoping it would calm her nerves. It felt like they were on a date. Not that she really knew how that felt. She and Ben had been together since high school and she couldn’t even remember their first date, but she guessed it would have been at a school friend’s birthday party. They had probably played silly party games and drunk some wine they’d pinched from a parent’s cellar.

      She wished she was cooking something a bit more complicated than a stir-fry, something that required more attention. Something that would require her focus but, as it was, she could whip up a stir-fry blindfolded and that meant she had plenty of time to think about Seb.

      Even though she hadn’t seen much of him that week she could always tell when he’d been to the apartment. She could smell him. The air was different and even now, despite the aroma of garlic and chilli, she could still smell him. He had showered after work—that must have been while she’d been at the supermarket—and she could smell soap and aftershave. He’d changed into a pair of stone-coloured shorts with a fresh navy T-shirt. His feet were bare and he looked relaxed and comfortable. He certainly didn’t look nervous or like he was dressed for a date.

      Luci took another sip of wine and concentrated on copying Seb’s calm approach as she served up the stir-fry and sat at the table opposite him.

      He tucked into the bowl of noodles, scooping up several forkfuls before he paused to take a breath.

      ‘This tastes great, thank you,’ he said, as he topped up their wine glasses.

      Luci had intended to do some studying after dinner but she could fast see that plan disappearing if she had too much wine but she didn’t refuse the top-up. After a week of lonely nights it made a pleasant change to share a meal with someone. And it was even more pleasant when that someone was Seb.

      ‘Two weeks down, how’s it been going?’ he asked her as he sipped his wine. ‘Have you recovered from Melanie’s visit?’

      ‘What do you mean?’

      ‘Something she said upset you.’

      ‘You noticed that?’

      ‘I did. What was it?’

      ‘I know she didn’t mean any harm but if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I had kids I’d have paid off my mortgage. I just don’t understand why so many clients feel they have a right to ask personal questions.’

      ‘I think she thought you were a natural with kids. She meant it as a compliment.’

      ‘I realise that but I didn’t expect that every second person would ask me if I have children. I bet they don’t ask you the same thing, do they?’

      ‘Some do,’ he admitted, ‘but I guess it probably is more of a question between women.’

      ‘They all seem to assume that if a woman is working in family health or paediatrics or obstetrics she would either have kids or want them.’

      ‘But you do want them.’

      ‘Yes, but I don’t want to think about it all the time. Obviously my divorce has changed my plans somewhat. I’m not exactly in a position to start a family but I don’t want to tell clients my life story.’

      ‘Fair enough.’

      ‘I guess I hadn’t anticipated that the subject of children would be raised so often. I need to find an answer to the most popular question, which is, “So, Luci, do you have children?”’

      ‘Why don’t you just tell them that you’re only young? You’ve got plenty of time.’

      It wasn’t a bad suggestion. It wasn’t Seb’s fault that time wasn’t on her side but he didn’t know that.

      ‘A lot of these mothers are younger than me. I don’t want them to feel I’m judging them. If I had my way I would have had children by now. All I’ve wanted, all my life, was to have kids and to be a young mum. My parents are old. Dad is almost seventy and Mum is a couple of years younger. They are wonderful parents but growing up I really noticed their age. Especially in my town where so many people start their families young, my parents could have been my grandparents and I didn’t want to be like that. I also want more than one child. I was an only child and I didn’t want that for my kids. Having a family has been my dream since I was a teenager.’

      ‘Why don’t you tell them you’re waiting for the right man, then?’ He scooped up the last mouthful of his dinner and didn’t speak again until he’d finished it. ‘Or do you think you had the right one in Ben?’

      ‘Obviously I did when I married him.’ She had thought that was it for her. As far as she’d been concerned, her life had been sorted when she’d walked down the aisle and become a wife. Until she’d found that it could easily be unsorted.

      Ben couldn’t have been the right man for her. If he had been, surely they’d still be together? Or perhaps she just wasn’t the right woman for him. But when they’d got married she hadn’t known what else was out there. Neither of them had. Ben had found someone he felt suited him better and Luci had to hope that there was someone else out there for her too.

      What would her perfect man be like?

      She looked across the table. She suspected he would be a lot like Seb. That was dangerous territory. She needed a change of topic. A safer direction. ‘How was your week?’ she asked. ‘I barely saw you. Have you changed your mind about sharing the house?’

      ‘No. I wanted to give you some space. Being around you was testing my limits. It’s been difficult to put you in the “friend” zone so I thought it would be best if I stayed out of the way. I’ve been working on my boat.’

      Hearing Seb put their situation like that made her wonder if she wanted to be in the ‘friend’ zone. She didn’t think she did but she was still confused about what she should be doing. It was still safer not to do anything. He hadn’t apologised for kissing her. She was glad about that. The kiss had been good, she didn’t want an apology, but she wasn’t ready to revisit it either.

      He was looking at her so directly but she couldn’t respond. It was safer not to reply to his comment. To break eye contact, she stood and picked up their empty bowls, clearing the table. She took the bowls to the sink and rinsed them, keeping her back to Seb.

      ‘You don’t need to stay out of the house, that doesn’t seem fair.’ She found her voice once she wasn’t looking at him.

      ‘I thought it was easiest for both of us. I promised I wouldn’t make you uncomfortable.’

      ‘I’m not uncomfortable. I just can’t jump into another relationship.’ Even though she was tempted. ‘I know I should spread my wings but jumping into something with the first man who crosses my path doesn’t really fit that. I think I need to test the water. I’ve never even been on a proper first date. Maybe I should be the one who spends more time out of the house. Maybe I should meet some

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