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She felt alone every time she walked away from Jacob. She wanted him, so badly. Would it be very wrong to have an affair?

      Her father’s harsh recriminations came back on cue. That kind of woman, he’d raged, his daughter wasn’t going to become. He was going to make sure of it. And he’d harped on permissiveness, on the ills of modern society, on the terror of unwanted children, until he’d poisoned Kate’s young mind. When she and Tom were in high school and went to live with Grandmother Walker, there was no free will left. Kate often wondered what her life would have been like if only her mother hadn’t left. Her mother had been like Jacob’s, according to her father. Her father had often sworn that Kate wasn’t really his child, anyway, but she and Tom looked so much alike that Kate tried not to think too hard about it. That part of her life was over, anyway. Looking back would only bring more nightmares.

      As she got into bed, drowsy with weariness, she wondered if Tom had been right, and Jacob really had wanted her for years. She flushed with the memory of that long, speaking look he’d drawn over her body. Yes, he did seem to want her now. And she wanted him, wanted the union, the total belonging of being in his arms with nothing between them.

      She turned into her pillow, burning with new desires. If only Jacob had believed her about that misunderstanding… But on the other hand, mightn’t knowing the truth turn him off completely? If Tom was right, and Jacob preferred sophisticated women, wouldn’t he be likely to walk away from Kate if he knew she was a virgin?

      On that troubling thought, she closed her eyes and slept.

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