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during my private sessions with my therapist. I didn’t make the choice to go with Oliver willingly when he abducted me. He’d pulled a gun on my sister and threatened to shoot her if I didn’t go with him. I did what I had to do in order to keep her safe. At the time it seemed like the only option, but now I always wondered if there was another way. If I should have been smarter, stronger … better.

      I felt like I couldn’t trust myself to know if what I was doing was right, when it seemed like everything I’d done prior had been wrong. Maybe I didn’t feel like I deserved the kind of normalcy and goodness that was in my life now. Maybe, just like the teenager who was watching me closely, I was also stuck in place where I would wonder what I’d done right to deserve this new life. I didn’t feel like I’d done a single thing to earn it.

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