LITMIR.BIZ

       Chapter Seven

      Fortunately I wasn’t due in to work until eleven the next morning, so I popped round to see Gramps on the way. I found him sitting in his armchair flicking through the pages of a travel brochure.

      ‘I thought I’d go away love, just for a couple of weeks.’ I brought in a couple of mugs of tea and two bacon sandwiches from the kitchen and sat down by his side. ‘I’ve not been away since your nan died. It’s about time, I reckon.’

      ‘What a brilliant idea!’ I peered over his shoulder and gasped, immediately taken in by the images of fairytale castles, mediaeval villages, towering mountains and dramatic scenery. A river cruise on the Rhine sounded right up my street. I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before, but it made perfect sense to get away properly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a decent holiday. Angie and I had gone to Brighton for a long weekend last year, but that had involved a lot of cocktails, some frenetic dancing and some midnight paddling in the sea – so you couldn’t really call it a proper holiday as we both came home feeling a whole lot worse than when we’d arrived, due to the lack of sleep and our alcohol consumption.

      No, a European tour would be just the ticket. Who wants to go and lie on a beach in the sun for a couple of weeks with a bunch of over-sexed girls when you can experience a bit of sophisticated culture with your lovely Gramps. I was definitely in need of some of that. I would meet new people, people I wouldn’t necessarily meet otherwise, and it would give me the opportunity to dress up. I’d have to buy a whole new wardrobe especially, and I’d be able to sashay down to dinner in my new finery to eat seven-course meals. Who knew, I might even meet a handsome millionaire on the trip. At the very least it would give Gramps and me the chance for some special bonding time together too.

      ‘Obviously I’ve got Harvey to think about.’

      ‘Oh, of course, how could we forget about you, Harvey.’ I scooped up the little dog for a sneaky cuddle, fondling his ears. Already I was feeling so excited about this new turn of affairs. ‘I don’t suppose he’ll like the kennels, but…’

      ‘Oh, I couldn’t put him in the kennels, love. That’s the thing. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself thinking of Harvey pining in a strange place. That’s why I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind looking after him while I’m away. He’s no trouble, as you know, and he knows and loves you.’

      ‘Me?’ My voice came out as a squeak. Images of crystal clear lakes, half-timbered chocolate box houses and black forest gateaux whizzed through my brain like the fast train. It clearly had no intention of stopping at my station.

      ‘I think Marcia and I have decided on this one,’ he said, holding up the page to me, the one I was now fully acquainted with, having been eagerly scanning it for the last few minutes. ‘We can get a good last-minute deal on it.’

      ‘You and Marcia?’

      ‘Yes. Why? Oh, you didn’t think…? Sorry love.’ He fell silent for a moment, concern scratching his features. ‘Well, I’m sure you could come along with us if you really wanted to. I could have a word with Marcia.’

      ‘No! Oh god no! You wouldn’t want me tagging along, cramping your style. Besides, you don’t think I’d really want to go away with a couple of old fogeys like you, do you?’

      My tone was light, but my mood was as dark as the deepest recesses of all those Bavarian castles I wouldn’t get to see now.

      ‘Those sort of holidays sound like my idea of hell. Loads of people get food poisoning on those cruises, you know.’

      I stood up and paced the length of the living room. Marcia and Gramps had moved onto the holidaying together stage already. Wasn’t it a bit too soon for that? Did that mean they’d be sharing a bedroom, getting naked? Eugh. I blinked furiously, trying to rid myself of the scary images.

      ‘Really, I couldn’t think of anything worse.’

      ‘Do you mean that?’

      I sighed, tipping my head to the ceiling.

      ‘No, I don’t,’ I said, slumping down onto the sofa. With my legs stretched out in front of me, my bum slid down the edge of the sofa and I just stopped myself before landing in a disgruntled heap on the floor. Gramps looked at me from across the top of his glasses. He could always read me like a book.

      ‘I would have loved to go to Germany with you Gramps, but Marcia, well, you know we would probably end up killing each other after a day or two.’ I gave an evil chuckle.