LITMIR.BIZ

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if she was worried that he would drag his feet getting the papers filed. “I know how much you wanted to get that done while we were still there.”

      Her hand dropped. “I’m glad now that we didn’t.”

      The words were soft but still audible. Travis frowned. He must be more tired than he realized. Surely she hadn’t just said she wanted to stay married?

      “Don’t get me wrong. I still don’t think marriage between us would work,” Mary Karen continued as if she’d read his mind. “Unless you’ve had an epiphany and changed your mind about children?”

      Her tone was light but her blue eyes were dark and serious.

      In Cameroon he’d had a lot of time to think. During the long hot nights he’d wondered what it’d be like if they stayed married. But each time he’d come to the same conclusion. What he wanted and what she wanted were too far apart. “I love your boys, M.K., you know that. But I’m not interested in spending the next twenty years raising children.”

      “That’s what I thought.”

      “About the annulment. I think—”

      “No annulment.” Mary Karen shook her head, her gaze now on the full moon.

      Travis wondered if she was worried that getting the annulment would cost money she didn’t have. But that couldn’t be it. He’d assured her that he’d pay for it. Perhaps—

      “I’m pregnant.”

      The breath froze in Travis’s throat. “Beg pardon,” he returned, keeping his expression perfectly still.

      “I’m pregnant.” Her fingers twisted in her lap. She lifted her gaze to his and he saw the truth in the tears shimmering in her eyes.

      When Travis had been ten his brother had hit him in the chest with a two-by-four, forcing all the air from his lungs. To this day he remembered that awful, panicky feeling. He felt the same way now.

      After a long moment, he cleared his throat. “Are you sure?”

      “I did a home test. It came back positive.” She chewed on her lower lip. “I have all the symptoms.”

      He had to be in an alternate universe. There could be no other explanation. “You’re on the pill.”

      Then he recalled why her brother called her Fertile Myrtle. Both times she’d gotten pregnant before, she’d been on oral contraceptives.

      “I should have used a condom.” A sick feeling took up residence in the pit of his stomach. “We’d always used one before.”

      “Yeah, well …” Her voice trailed off and he saw the despair in her eyes.

      “Are you planning on having the baby?” He tried to keep his tone casual. Although this was his child she was carrying, he was well aware that this was ultimately her choice.

      “Are you asking me to have an abortion?” Her voice rose then broke.

      “Nononono.” He reached for her hand. “How could you possibly think that?”

      Mary Karen jerked her hand away and crossed her arms. “You don’t like children. You told me that yourself less than five minutes ago.”

      “Of course I like children. I’m an obstetrician. I bring children into the world on a daily basis.” As he spoke, Travis tried to remember his earlier words. “I merely said I didn’t want to raise them.”

      Tears spilled from her lids and slid down her cheeks.

      Damn. He was an intelligent man, but that didn’t seem to stop him from putting his foot in his mouth.

      “Ah, M.K.” He pulled her against him despite her protests. “It’ll be okay. Don’t cry.”

      “I’m not crying,” she said between sobs. “Crying is s-stupid.”

      “No, it’s not,” he said in a soothing tone. As he stroked her hair, he realized this wasn’t just about him. He’d put his best friend in an untenable position.

      “I’m getting your shirt wet.” She tried to pull away, but he tightened his hold.

      “I don’t care about the shirt.” He leaned his forehead against her hair. “I care about you.”

      It was the truth yet something he’d never said to her before. Though they’d been as intimate as two people could be, they’d always been careful to avoid talking about feelings.

      “Caring doesn’t matter.” Mary Karen pulled a tissue from her purse and blotted her eyes. “Steven cared about me. Look how that turned out.”

      Steven was also an arrogant, self-centered jerk. From the moment he’d set foot in Jackson Hole, Travis hadn’t liked the guy. And he certainly hadn’t appreciated the way he’d treated Mary Karen.

      “This is such a big mess.” She sniffed then blew her nose.

      Big mess seemed a bit mild, considering the impact, but Travis agreed with the assessment.

      They’d stay married. What other choice was there? Mary Karen was his friend. She was carrying his baby.

      Travis blew out a harsh breath. It looked like he was about to become a family man … whether he wanted to or not.

       Chapter Four

      Mary Karen pushed back from Travis’s arms. It wouldn’t do to get too comfortable. She’d told him about the baby. She’d accomplished her goal for the evening.

      “The lease on my apartment will be up next month,” he said, thinking outloud. “Since your place is bigger, I’ll move in with you. After the baby is born, we can talk to Joel about building a house for us.”

      The resignation in his eyes made her heart clench. It mirrored what she’d seen in her ex-husband’s eyes when she’d told him she was pregnant.

      “No,” she said softly, then repeated more loudly as if to convince herself, “no. You’re not moving in with the boys and me.”

      “What are you talking about?” Confusion blanketed Travis’s handsome features. “Of course I’m moving in. You need me. Now more than ever.”

      Mary Karen briefly closed her eyes and prayed for strength. She did need him. Or rather she needed a partner on this scary journey. But a willing partner, not one who was only with her because he felt obligated.

      But wasn’t having someone better than being alone? a tiny voice in her head whispered.

      No. She wouldn’t do that to herself again. Or to Travis. If she brought him with her down this familiar road, there’d be pain at the end for everyone. For him. For her. Most significantly for her children. “You don’t want to be married or have a family.”

      Travis didn’t bother to argue the point. How could he? He’d made his feelings on marriage and children very clear on many occasions. What had he told her at Christmas? Being married and having children would be like a noose around his neck.

      He wiped a weary hand across his face. “M.K., you and I both know life isn’t simply about what we want. Honor and duty matter, too.”

      Though his words only confirmed what she already knew, they were like a dagger to her heart. “I married one man because I was pregnant,” she said in a quiet tone. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

      Travis gave a half-hearted chuckle. “It’s a good thing I have a strong ego or being lumped into the same category as your ex might cause me some serious psychological trauma.”

      He reached over and cradled her ice-cold fingers in his strong ones. “C’mon, it won’t be so bad. Your parents like me. Your brother is my best friend. And your kids think I’m cool.”

      Her children.

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