LITMIR.BIZ

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what to do next. Should she seek out Raoul and press him for more explanation over his behavior earlier, or simply carry on as if nothing had happened? She worried at her lower lip with her teeth. Until she’d seen him again today she would have done the former of the two—without question. But after that stilted, almost hostile, encounter, she was reluctant to muddy the waters between them any more than they already were.

      She still needed to unpack her things, so she went into the master bedroom where she’d put her suitcase earlier on. The door to the walk-in wardrobe stood open and she gravitated toward it. One side was completely bare of anything but naked hangers, the other still filled with women’s clothing. Her heart stuttered in her chest as she reached out and touched a few of the things hanging there, as a hint of Bree’s favorite scent wafted out.

      That awful sense of emptiness filled her again along with a renewed feeling of deep sympathy for the man who hadn’t yet been able to bring himself to pack his dead wife’s things away. She stepped out of the wardrobe and closed the door behind her, turning instead to the native rimu tallboy that stood proud against one wall. The drawers were empty, so she filled them with her things, then shoved her now-redundant case into the wardrobe without looking again at the silent memorial that still hung there.

      A knock at her door make her start.

      “Yes?” she called out.

      The door opened and Raoul filled the frame. Instantly her senses sprang to life. Her body hummed with that almost electric responsiveness to his proximity—her eyes roaming over him, taking in the way his clothing hung just a little too loosely on his rangy frame. It was hard to believe he was the same man as before. But then again, he wasn’t, was he? He’d been through hell and she needed to remember that as she tackled her new role. To perhaps be a little less judgmental.

      For all the differences—from subtle to striking—in his appearance and in his manner, there was no doubting the instant effect he had on her equilibrium. Even now she could feel her heart beat that little bit faster, her breathing become a little more shallow. She dug her fingernails into her palms in an attempt to distract herself from her reaction to him.

      “I just wanted to make sure you’d settled in okay,” he said stiffly, not quite meeting her eyes.

      She nodded, unsure of what to say about Bree’s things. Or even if she should say anything about them at all.

      “The baby’s quiet now. Is she all right?”

      “Ruby’s down for the night. Catherine tells me she usually goes through until about six-thirty, or seven, so as long as she isn’t unsettled by sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, you shouldn’t hear from her again until morning.”

      “How do you know she’s okay? You’re not with her right now.”

      Alexis tapped the monitor on her belt loop. “I have the monitor. As soon as she stirs I’ll know, trust me.”

      “Hmm, are you sure it’s working?”

      “It looked pretty new when I removed it from the packaging and I put fresh batteries in this unit myself before Ruby arrived.”

      He flinched slightly and Alexis took a moment to realize why. Of course, he and Bree would have bought all the things in the nursery in readiness for when they brought their infant home for the first time. Bree was likely the last person to have touched that monitor before Alexis.

      “They might be old. I’ll get you new ones. Make sure you change them immediately.”

      Alexis fought the urge to salute at his command. Instead she merely inclined her head. He was showing concern, which was a good thing even if she wished it came with a less imperious tone.

      “Is there anything else? I thought I might start getting our evening meal ready. Ruby obviously ate earlier but now I have time to put something together for us. Will you be joining me?”

      “No.” His response was emphatic. “I’ll see to myself.”

      “It’s no bother. I may as well cook for two adults as for one. I’ll leave your meal warming in the oven.”

      His body sagged, as if he was giving up in this battle—perhaps choosing to shore up his strength for another time. “Thank you.”

      “If you change your mind about eating with me, feel free. It’d be nice to catch up. Or, if you’d rather, have breakfast with Ruby and me in the morning. It’d be good for her to spend more time with her dad, and good for you, too.”

      Raoul sighed and swiped one hand across his face. She saw his jaw clench before he spoke again.

      “Look, I know you’re determined to do what you think is the right thing, but you and the baby being here is a complication I can do without. Don’t make it any harder for me than it already has to be.”

      “But—”

      “No buts, Alexis. I mean it. If there had been any other alternative to this, believe me, I would have chosen it. Once Catherine is mobile again I expect things to return to normal.”

      “Normal? But this isn’t normal, is it? Not by any stretch of the imagination,” Alexis protested. “Bree wouldn’t have wanted you to be so distant from your own flesh and blood.”

      He paled as if he’d been dealt a mortal blow. “Don’t,” he said brokenly, shaking his head and backing toward the door. “Don’t throw that at me. You have no idea—” He shook his head once more. “Just do what you were hired to do, Alexis. End of topic.”

      He was gone in an instant and Alexis wrapped her arms around herself in a vain attempt to provide some comfort for herself where there was none. So, it seemed she couldn’t even mention her best friend without making Raoul run. That he’d loved her deeply was patently obvious. But how could that love not extend to their little girl?

      Three

      Raoul lay in bed unable to sleep any longer. It was time he rose anyway, time to escape to the winery before Alexis and Ruby took over the house. No longer was his home the quiet sanctuary contained by the boundaries of his property. No longer was coming to the house a peaceful pilgrimage to the past. No longer was it his safe place where he could be alone with his memories.

      They’d been here a week—a hellishly long time, in his estimation—and since Alexis’s and the baby’s arrival he spent as little time as humanly possible in the house. And since he still wasn’t ready to face the world at large, that meant he spent as much time as he could in the winery where he wasn’t constantly being distracted by the presence of two very unsettling females.

      Just yesterday he’d caught Alexis shifting things in the sitting room—raising the tide line, she’d called it—because Ruby was pulling herself up on the furniture and starting to walk around things, grabbing for whatever she could reach. While he understood the necessity of keeping Ruby safe, the idea of changing anything from the way Bree had left it was profoundly unsettling.

      He yawned widely. Sleep had been as elusive last night as it had been since Alexis’s accusation of his behavior being abnormal. Her words had stung. She had no idea what he went through every time he looked at Ruby. Every time he saw a miniature Bree seated before him. He’d almost managed to bring the shock of pain under control, but the echoing empty loss that came hard on its heels unraveled him in ways he didn’t even want to begin to acknowledge.

      And then there was the fear—an awful irrational beast that built up in his chest and threatened to consume him. What if Ruby got sick, or was hurt? What if he didn’t know what to do, or didn’t react fast enough? It was an almost unbearable sense of responsibility lessened only slightly by knowing Alexis was here shouldering the bulk of it. Raoul shoved aside his bedcovers and got out of bed, yanking his pajama bottoms up higher on his hips. Everything slid off him these days. It hadn’t mattered when he was here alone but now, with his privacy totally invaded, he had to be a little more circumspect. Even locked in his antisocial bubble he could see that.

      Suddenly

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