LITMIR.BIZ

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open the accordion doors to her closet. “Not long,” she said, yanking the ribbon attached to the small chain on her overhead light. She was trying to be vague, like Carter had told her, but her mom was like a hound dog. “A month, maybe. Honestly, we’re just friends.”

      “Honey, why didn’t you say something? I thought…” Penny trailed off, her voice leaving behind a little wake of pain mixed with guilt.

      A delightful combination that her mother specialized in.

      Zoe sighed and sat down on the mess of pillows and blankets she called a bed. She quickly bounced up and pulled a cereal bowl out from the duvet before settling back down. She didn’t like lying to her mother, and she really didn’t like hurting her, but at some point there needed to be some distance. Some breathing room.

      Not for the first time, Zoe doubted her decision to come back to Baton Rouge to have this baby.

      “I mean, you used to tell me everything. But recently, you’re so different. The baby—”

      She didn’t want to talk about the baby with her mom. Not again. For four solid months it had been all they talked about, and now the subject was closed. Closed.

      “Mom, listen to me. I sort of blew it with the whole standing on the chair thing, and now we have to go public. It’s not a big deal.”

      “Why didn’t you tell me?”

      Zoe took a deep breath and jumped right into the new cold waters that swirled between them. “You know why, Mom.”

      “You’re going to be a single mother, Zoe. Dating isn’t—”

      “And there you go,” she said, standing up and wiggling out of her bra. “This is why I didn’t tell you. I don’t need another chapter from your How To Be A Single Mother textbook.”

      There was a pause, the silence long and slow, like colliding with an iceberg, and Zoe bit her lip to keep from apologizing. She was right on this.

      “Do you like him?” Mom asked, her voice quiet. “Is he nice to you?”

      Zoe nearly laughed. Nice? Carter O’Neill? The word simply did not apply. “Of course.”

      “All right, just…be careful with yourself, honey.”

      “I will. I have to go, Mom. Bye.” Zoe hung up and tossed the phone on the bed.

      She approached her closet like Napoleon taking over a battlefield. None of her pants fit, and she didn’t have the money for new special maternity ones, so she shoved aside a small quadrant of black, white and denim pants. It wasn’t a terribly formal sort of place so she pushed away the turquoise beaded gown and the black sheath from her days at the Houston Ballet. Ballerinas needed gowns for those fundraiser things, but why she still kept them she had no idea. Well, they were glittery and she did like glitter.

      “This is a disaster,” she moaned, flicking hangers back and forth, contemplating her pink cowboy shirt with the lassoing hearts. There was the red-and-white maternity tent dress her mother had bought her a few days ago, which honestly made her look like a tablecloth at an Italian restaurant. She pushed aside a few cardigans and dug way back into her closet, her heart sinking farther and farther into her stomach.

      She wanted to look good tonight. Smokin’, even. Because Carter had mocked her and had made her heart flip over in her chest when he’d held her hand.

      The combination stung like salt in a wound.

      But it didn’t look like glamorous Zoe was going to make an appearance tonight. Or any other night for the foreseeable future. She was five months pregnant, a political prisoner of her own making, and she was attracted to the stone-cold warden.

      Wedged into the back of her closet between her old prom dress and the remnants of her flapper phase, she found a clear plastic garment bag.

      Sunshine dawned in her dark loft as she pulled out the hot pink raw silk A-line dress. A few years ago in Houston, she’d fallen in love with this dress, with its big red and yellow appliqué roses on the short hem, its bold color, and the way it made her legs look about a million miles long. The only problem was that it had been a little too big and she’d meant to have it altered, but kept forgetting.

      Thank God.

      She tore open the bag and pulled the dress over her head, shimmying it down around her belly and hips. She stepped sideways into the full-length mirror and squealed with delight. A little tight around the belly, but she was pregnant, what could one expect?

      But the rest of it, oh the rest of it…perfect. The big collar clasped around her neck, a floppy silk rose beneath her chin. Her arms were bare, so she slid on a few silver bangles. And then a few more.

      Shoes. Shoes would be an issue. Her swollen feet begged for the low sandals with the ghetto-fabulous gemstones, but she remembered how tall Carter was, how he seemed to tower over her, and she reached into the way back for her black second, secondhand Chanel stilettos.

      Yes, she thought, admiring herself in the mirror. Oh. Yes. She pliéd, dipped. Tried to arabesque, but the seams wouldn’t allow it. She felt beautiful in this dress.

      Lush and womanly and sophisticated.

      Like a woman who owned her life.

      She could do this. She could go on this date and hold hands and smile at a man who didn’t like her at all. In this dress, she could do anything.

      The walls of her apartment shuddered as someone pounded on her door. It could only be one person and she clapped.

      “Eat your heart out, Carter O’Neill,” she whispered and mini jetéd, as best she could, to the door.

      “I’LL TRY TO BE THERE, Savannah,” Carter said into his cell phone as he brushed the rain off his jacket.

      “You’re lying, Carter,” his sister said. “I can tell. I can always tell. Honestly, why do you bother trying?”

      Carter smiled, staring up at the ceiling. He liked it when his little sister called him on his bullshit; it made him feel closer to her, as though it was ten years ago and she still needed him to protect her.

      He remembered her a year after their mom had left them on Margot’s doorstep. Savannah had come into his room in the middle of the night, her voice a whisper, her hand against his arm a hot little puddle.

      “She’s not coming back, is she?” she’d asked, moonlight turning her eyes black. “Mom’s left us here.”

      “I don’t know,” he’d whispered, though he’d known. Of course he’d known. But he hadn’t wanted to hurt her. He hadn’t wanted any more injury to befall this little girl.

      “You’re lying,” she’d said. “You’re always lying to me.”

      Suddenly, in this hallway, Carter felt a million miles from his sister. From his family. From the man he was. And it was his own fault. Every time he tried to protect them he ended up putting more than miles between them.

      “Savvy,” he sighed, “I promise I will try to get there for Christmas.”

      Even as the words came out of his mouth he knew it was impossible. With Vanessa back in the picture, there was no way he could go home, not with her trailing behind like a spiked tail.

      “Hey,” he said, unable to believe he was going to ask this question when he’d sworn to himself that he was going to stay out of the gem drama. “You guys haven’t found the ruby, have you?”

      “Tyler hunted all over the place last month when Dad was here. He says it’s nowhere to be found.”

      “What does Margot say?” he asked.

      “She says there’s no way it’s in The Manor. She’d know.”

      “Well, she sure as hell didn’t know about the diamond, did she?”

      “I guess not,”

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