LITMIR.BIZ

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not that easy.” Not one man she’d dated had measured up to Nick. And he’d just given her the opening she was waiting for. “But you’re right. I very much want to have a child.”

      “That was something we probably should have discussed before we got married.”

      By the time she’d brought up the subject, the marriage was already in trouble. Their relationship counselors agreed that bringing a baby into the mix would only accelerate the downward spiral.

      “Yeah,” she said. “But everything with us happened so fast.”

      She’d been so swept away by the dashing Dr. Damian. Nothing and no one could have convinced her that a man who fought so hard for a child’s life wouldn’t want children of his own. Then she’d brought up the subject.

      She couldn’t call that discussion an argument. Nick never argued. He was either called away for a patient or simply left. The last time he’d put her off, she did the leaving.

      “It was my fault, Ryleigh. I just—It wasn’t—” He shook his head in frustration—a doer, not a talker. “You’ll find someone and get married, have children.”

      “One doesn’t actually have to be married to have a baby. In all this time, I haven’t met anyone who made me want to take the plunge again.”

      “It’ll happen.”

      “What if it takes years and my eggs turn into raisins? Advancing age and fertility are not compatible.” She folded her hands and rested them on the desk. “My parents tried for years to have a baby and it didn’t happen.”

      “Technically, that’s not accurate because you’re here.”

      “Yeah. But by the time they did, Mom was in her forties. She called me her miracle child.” Dark memories came flooding back, losing first her father and a couple years later her mom. “Some miracle.”

      “It really was. Do you know the odds of a woman conceiving in her forties—”

      “Please don’t quote statistics. They were my parents and they died before I was out of high school. There was so little time with them, I used to wonder why they’d bothered. Now I understand the passion my mom felt, the yearning to have a baby because I feel it, too. But I also want to be young while my child is. More important, I want to actually be there while my child grows up.”

      “Don’t sweat it. You’re young—”

      “Not that young.” She stared at him. “I’m twenty-eight and a half. My biological clock is ticking and the prospects for marriage aren’t looking good.”

      “Give it time,” he said.

      “I did that. And I’m finished holding my breath, Nick.” The bar had been set really high and that was his fault. “I’m through with waiting.”

      “Do you have another choice?”

      “As a matter of fact, I do. I can be a single mom.”

      “It’s a big decision,” he said.

      “One I haven’t come to lightly. I’m well aware of the difficulties. But I simply can’t imagine my life without a child in it. I want to feel a baby grow and move inside me. More than anything, I want to hold my baby and raise him or her.”

      “But, Ryleigh, doing it alone—”

      She held up a hand to stop him. “You’re not going to talk me out of this.”

      “Someone has to make you see reason.”

      “Logic doesn’t stand a chance against this longing to be a mother. Let me put it to you this way.” She’d thought long and hard about what to say to him. “The need I have for a baby is as powerful as yours is for sex. Could you be talked out of it?”

      “Point made.” There was an uneasy expression on his face, a crack in the facade. “But how are you going to make it happen? In vitro? Potluck from a sperm bank?”

      “I’d prefer not to do that.” She met his gaze. “The hormone shots. The higher risk of it not being successful. Expense. Not to mention that the old-fashioned way is the first, best, most effective method.”

      “Then what?”

      “Here’s the thing, Nick. When we got married I was young and idealistic. All I needed to be happy was you, spending time with you. I’m older now and understand that you’re a doctor and the kids need you. You’re a gifted physician. You’re also a good man, the best man I know. You have wonderful qualities and I’ve never met anyone more brilliant or dedicated. And it has to be said that you’re not hard on the eyes.”

      “I hear a but.”

      “Only that I understand you couldn’t give me what I needed. Not then, anyway.”

      “Here’s the but,” he said.

      She nodded. “You can give me what I want now. And I want a baby.”

      When what she was asking for finally sank in, he looked like he’d swallowed his stethoscope. “That’s a joke, right?”

      “I’ve never been more serious.”

      “That’s crazy.” Nick stood and started to pace. “Do you realize what you’re asking? A child would tie us together forever.”

      “It wouldn’t have to.”

      He stopped and stared at her. “You expect me to father a child, then disappear?”

      “We got married and you did that,” she pointed out. “Not blaming you. Just saying… Look, I’m sorry to spring this on you, but there was really no good way to bring it up. And frankly, I’m glad it’s out there. Take some time to think it over—”

      “Done,” he snapped. “And the answer is no.”

      “Just like that?”

      “Yeah. You can’t be serious. And when you come to your senses, we’ll laugh about this.”

      Disappointment shuddered through her as hopes and dreams went on life support. “You know, when we were married, I actually thought about going off birth control. An ‘accidental’ pregnancy. An oops-the-condom-must-have-broken conversation.”

      “Why didn’t you?” Surprise slid into his eyes as he stared down at her.

      “It just wasn’t right. I couldn’t do it. Maybe this idea is insane, but at least it’s straightforward and honest.”

      “I’m sorry, Ryleigh. I just can’t go along with it.”

      “I had to ask.” She worked hard at keeping the profound and emotional regret out of her voice. “I had a feeling you’d say no. So now it’s on to plan B.”

      His gaze narrowed. “What’s that?”

      “I go to the second name on my list.”

      “That’s not funny.”

      Bluffs never were. There was no list. This was about keeping her spunk factor in one piece. “I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

      Nick stood at the third-floor nurse’s station in the PICU—Pediatric Intensive Care Unit—and finished charting. The job could be done sitting down, but he might fall asleep. After Ryleigh dropped the baby bombshell on him yesterday, getting to sleep last night had been a challenge he couldn’t overcome. He was grateful for the emergency call that had kept him too busy to think. Fortunately the asthmatic kid was doing fine now. Him? Not so much.

      He put the chart back, then walked down the hall and turned right toward the elevators. The familiar sound of Ryleigh’s laughter drifted to him. At first he thought it was a hallucination due to sleep deprivation, until he saw her standing in front of the newborn nursery. There was a man with her. Carlton Gallagher.

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