LITMIR.BIZ

       Chapter Four

      Tiffany leaned closer. Did it make her an even more horrible person that one of the simple things she most missed about her former life was gossip? “Well? What could be so horrible?”

      “Lord... Where do I even start?” He swallowed hard, rubbing her sleeping, traitorous dog behind his ears. When tears shone in Rowdy’s green eyes, guilt had her offering the toilet paper roll. Whatever he was about to share, it was serious.

      “Most people say start at the beginning, but I have a short attention span, so jump right in with the juicy parts.”

      He grinned.

      She nearly swooned. Baby, your daddy’s a looker...

      “Anyone ever told you you’re a little kooky?”

      “All the time.” She settled a pillow behind her back. “Now spill.”

      “Okay, but don’t think badly of me. Because seriously, no one hates me more than me.”

      That didn’t sound good, but who was she to cast stones? “Considering I got knocked up from a one-night stand, this is a judgment-free zone.”

      After a deep inhale, then slow exhale, words tumbled too fast, as if he’d been holding them in for far too long. “The night we met? Part of the reason I was so damned drunk was another woman. Back in Virginia, Brandi and I dated on and off—nothing serious. Then she tells me she’s pregnant and the baby’s mine.”

      Now Tiffany sucked in a deep breath. “Where’s the infant and his or her momma now?”

      “That’s just it...” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We hardly had a great love story. It was all about sharing a few Friday-night drinks, then releasing the week’s tensions. But hell, when she told me she was carrying my baby, I was prepared to do right by her and my kid. I bought her a ring, got down on one knee—the whole nine yards.”

      She leaned in closer. “Why aren’t you married to her now?”

      “Damn, woman, if you’d quit interrupting, I’d tell you.”

      “Sorry.” To stop herself from blurting about a dozen more pertinent questions, Tiffany drew her lower lip into her mouth and bit.

      “So anyway, I wasn’t exactly proud of how this whole thing was going down, but we got married, and then I got shipped out. Making a long story real short, by the time I got back, she’d had the baby—a boy. I had a son. I’d had a couple hundred sleepless nights to ponder what it was going to be like when I got home—you know, taking on the role of dad and husband to this infant and woman I hardly knew.”

      Where in the world was this going?

      “Back on base, when I stepped off our C-130 transport, she waited for me on the tarmac with all of the other wives. When I caught my first sight of her with a baby stroller—not gonna lie—I could’ve downed an entire bottle of Pepto. Still, she was my wife, this was my son, and I was determined to be a great dad and partner. All around us, my SEAL buddies were making out with their wives or hugging their kids, so I got into it. Or at least tried. I kissed her cheek, then reached into the stroller for my son. Only when I picked him up for our first hug, I got a helluva shock—there was no way this kid could be mine.”

      “What? How could you tell?” Tiffany could deny it all she wanted, but when it came to juicy gossip, she was every bit as bad as her mother. This story was getting good.

      “Let’s just say the little guy was cute as a button but looked more like Bruce Lee than me. As far as I knew, we didn’t have any Asians on the family tree. She admitted to having slept with another guy around the same time as me and that she was already back together with him. She pulled a packet of divorce papers from a pouch on the back of the stroller. Told me that once I signed them, our marriage would be officially over, then wished me a nice life. After all those nights I’d spent worrying about how I was going to perform as a father, just like that, the issue was off the table.”

      “Whoa...” Out of habit, Tiffany rubbed her baby bump. “You weren’t kidding. That was nuts. But how does what Brandi did make you feel bad about yourself?”

      “Because I was an idiot for landing myself in that situation. I’d always worn protection with her, but accidents happen. Now here I am again, facing the same issue with you. But the funny thing is, after another long-ass tour filled with way too much time for thinking, now maybe I am ready to be a dad.”

      “Do you know how crazy that sounds? After what that woman put you through, I would have figured you felt like she’d given you a get-out-of-jail-free card. I’m now offering you another one.”

      “But I want my son.”

      Tiffany shook her head. “You only think you want to be a dad. Trust me, I have bouts of suffering from baby fever, too. When those adorable diaper and baby-food ads pop up on TV, the chubby-cheeked close-ups get me teary eyed every time. But those aren’t the realities of raising a child. To do right by him, to put the same time, attention and love into your son as you do being a SEAL, you might have to give up your career and move back to this dead-end town.”