Forever A Father - Lynne Marshall

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experience slanted toward disaster. As in love, marriage, betrayal and divorce. Yeah, he’d heard most of the story, because the walls were thin in his clinic and Keela was friendly with her clients, many of whom were women. If they dared to ask if she was married, she’d spout her well-rehearsed ten-second reply. Met a man online, traveled all the way to America to meet ’im, fell in love, got married and had a kid all within a year. Now I’m happily divorced, thanks for asking.

      Or “tanks for askin’” as it sounded coming from those sweet lips. Nope, nope, nope, not supposed to notice those, either.

      But that was the truth Daniel had to live with: a fellow American—thanks a lot, buddy—had soured the lovely Ms. O’Mara’s view on men in general, and most especially American men, of which he was a card-carrying member. Never again! She’d often said that after getting off the phone chasing down yet another late child-support payment. The guy seemed like a total jerk and Daniel wondered what she’d ever seen in him.

      He could totally relate to the never again part, thanks to Kathryn before she’d walked away...and he’d begged her to stay, to work things out. In fact, he and Keela could bond on their failed relationships. But he’d never dare discuss what had happened in his personal life with an employee. Only his family knew the whole story.

      Ah, geez, all this thinking and overthinking had begun to make the room spin. Why had he had that beer with lunch? To celebrate, that was why, and he deserved it. He clicked on a patient file on his computer for distraction but had to wait while it loaded.

      Was he looking? For another relationship? It had been almost two years since Emma had died and Kathryn had left. He dug his fingertips into his hair and gave a quick massage to ease the sudden tension sprouting at his temples and traveling upward, hoping it would help shake him out of this line of thinking. Instead of that happening, his personal stats popped up—thirty-three, still living at the family hotel, rooming with his brothers, Mark and Conor, in a detached three-bedroom suite to save money—but costing his parents good cash, since they couldn’t rent it out. Not exactly a prize, was he? He rationalized he’d be there only until his business was out of the infancy stage. Who knew how hard it would be to take a private practice and make it work? But he’d made great progress today. Soon his bookkeeping would go from red to black and he’d be able to move out of the hotel.

      The patient file didn’t have the specific information he was looking for, so he clicked on the medical history.

      And while he scrolled through the abundant reports, he went back to thinking about women in general, to get his mind off Keela. He’d had many girlfriends, but he’d never been in a relationship that lasted more than two months. Until Kathryn. Even though being with her had struck the wrath of the universe on him. Kathryn had grabbed his attention the first time they’d met. The more he got to know her, the sexier she got, and they’d fallen into bed early on. She liked that he was a doctor, and he liked that she was not only a successful businesswoman, but personally independent. As it turned out, to a fault. An independent woman who wanted nothing to do with getting married, even after she’d accidentally gotten pregnant. Getting involved with a levelheaded woman might still be an aspiration one day, but only after he figured out the past. He’d loved Kathryn far more than she’d loved him. Turns out, after a man had his heart removed with surgical precision, it took a long time to grow one back.

      He closed out the file, started searching through a pile of reports on his desk. A committed relationship would mean trying to live up to his parents’, who seemed to have the ideal. His grandfather spoke about his Mary as if she’d been a saint. Daniel remembered his grandmother as being sweet and kind, and Grandda was definitely prone to exaggeration, but a saint? Still, the old man’s face lit up with love anytime he mentioned her name.

      Daniel had thought he’d found that kind of love with Kathryn, but he’d been astoundingly mistaken. He’d asked her to marry him within the first six months, long before she’d gotten pregnant, but she said she wasn’t ready. He’d sensed her hesitation when it came to commitment, but like a fool, he thought they only needed more time together, as though two years wasn’t long enough to make up her mind. After losing Emma, she’d withdrawn and pulled away. Weren’t they supposed to cling together at a time like that? He’d done his best to support her, to reach out to her, even got her bereavement treatment. Her therapist said she needed time. Daniel gave it to her, but she didn’t improve. She kept to herself and pushed him further and further away. Finally, she’d opened up and told him how she needed to be alone to heal, so even while drowning in his own pain and grief, needing her more than ever, he let her leave. Because that was what you did when you loved someone. He was hardly surviving, and in such pain over the loss of their baby he could barely work, yet he put her needs and wishes first. Alone, the pain so astounding he didn’t think he could go on, he tried.

      He’d always expected her to come back. He clung to the thought. But she never did. Then one day she’d sent for her things and delivered a cold and calculated goodbye letter. Last he’d heard, a year ago, she was in a relationship with someone new, and he wished her the best, he honestly did.

      But Daniel was still stuck in limbo.

      He no longer fooled himself about ever being able to find his parents’ and grandparents’ kind of love. He should’ve seen the signs early on, when Kathryn kept putting on the brakes whenever he pushed to get married. She wasn’t into him in the same way, and he couldn’t see it then. The memory sent a sharp pain through him. How had he not seen it? Because falling in love had blinded him.

      After the shock and gut-wrenching trauma of losing what he’d held dearest, a family, he was nowhere near ready to look for a relationship again. He couldn’t trust his instincts.

      Man, he was frustrated—why couldn’t he find that report? He shuffled a pile of papers around.

      Keela popped into his thoughts again, her smile, her cheerful outlook.

      And why was he still thinking about Keela? He should’ve noticed and heeded the not-so-subtle omen when his grandfather, after first hearing about his new employee, had said, “Did you know that the name Keela in Irish means ‘beauty that only poetry can capture’?” Where did Gramps get that stuff?

      Daniel glanced across his desk at another mound of papers, plus a patient appointment list that promised to keep him working until 8:00 p.m. These days the only commitment he could handle was his medical practice, a full-time job and relationship rolled into one, and it was all he could manage. There simply wasn’t room for anything else. So here he was, working like a lunatic to get his business off the ground, with a PT assistant who’d started to lure his mind off the goal. He frowned and stared at his desk. Maybe that was why he was always gruffer with her than he intended. Self-preservation? You bet.

      He sighed. Today had made everything different. He’d landed the City College account. He couldn’t afford to take his eye off the prize. He shivered. What if he lost everything...again? He couldn’t bear to think of the consequences. A kernel of apprehension over the future of his clinic quickly grew to full-out anxiety, which prompted him to call out. “Keela!”

      She arrived in his office, sat, brows lifted, eyes sparkling like they had all through lunch. So alluring, so off-limits. Guilt filtered through him. Nip the attraction in the bud, and file it under the heading of survival. He swallowed and forged ahead, but not before noticing her delicate fingers lacing and unlacing in her lap. He’d made her nervous and he hadn’t said a word. Already feeling like a heel, he so hated what he was about to do.

      “So here’s the deal,” he said in a firm tone, skipping any niceties. “We’re going to be challenged like never before with the City College athletes. I’ll be spending time away from the clinic to attend their practices and games, and more responsibility will fall on your shoulders. So my question is, are you up for that?”

      She sat on the edge of the chair in his office and nodded, her smile gone, a serious stare replacing the earlier glow. The power he wielded over her as her boss pinched behind his sternum, but he couldn’t back down.

      “I can’t settle for excuses about back East weather holding up our supplies. It’s

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