LITMIR.BIZ

       Three

      It was like striking a match, his thumb sweeping across her skin. It left a trail of fire where he touched, and made her feel hot in places he hadn’t. She was... Well, she was immobilized.

      Like a deer caught in the headlights, seeing exactly what was barreling down on her, and unable to move.

      Except, of course, Jonathan wasn’t barreling down on her. He wasn’t moving at all.

      He was just looking at her, his dark eyes glittering, his expression like granite. She followed his lead, unsure of what to do. Of how she should react.

      And then, suddenly, everything clicked into place. Exactly what she was feeling, exactly what she was doing...and exactly how much of an idiot she was.

      She took a deep breath, gasping as though she’d been submerged beneath water. She turned her chair sideways, facing the computer again. “Well,” she said, “thank you for lunch.”

      Fiddlesticks. And darn it. And fudging graham crackers.

      She had just openly stared at her boss, probably looking like a guppy gasping on dry land because he had wiped mayonnaise off her lip. Which was—as things went—probably one of the more platonic touches a man and a woman could share.

      The problem was, she couldn’t remember ever being touched—even platonically—by a man who wasn’t family. So she had been completely unprepared for the reaction it created inside her. Which she had no doubt he’d noticed.

      Attraction. She had felt attracted to him.

      Backtracking, she realized the tight feeling in her stomach that had appeared the first moment she’d seen him was probably attraction.

      That was bad. Very bad.

      But what she was really curious about, was why this attraction felt different from what she’d felt around other men she had liked. She’d felt fluttery feelings before. Most notably for Grant Daniels, the junior high youth pastor, a couple years ago. She had really liked him, and she was pretty sure he’d liked her, too, but he hadn’t seemed willing to make a move.

      She had conversations with him over coffee in the Fellowship Hall, where he had brought up his feelings on dating—he didn’t—and how he was waiting until he was ready to get married before getting into any kind of relationship with a woman.

      For a while, she’d been convinced he’d told her that because he was close to being ready, and he might want to marry her.

      Another instance of sitting, waiting and believing what she wanted would come to her through the sheer force of her good behavior.

      Looking back, she realized it was kind of stupid that she had hoped he’d marry her. She didn’t know him, not really. She had only ever seen him around church, and of course her feelings for him were based on that. Everybody was on their best behavior there. Including her.

      Not that she actually behaved badly, which was kind of the problem. There was what she did, what she showed the world, and then there were the dark, secret things that lived inside her. Things she wanted but was afraid to pursue.

      The fluttery feelings she had for Grant were like public Hayley. Smiley, shiny and giddy. Wholesome and hopeful.

      The tension she felt in her stomach when she looked at Jonathan...that was all secret Hayley.

      And it scared her that there was another person who seemed to have access to those feelings she examined only late at night in the darkness of her room.

      She had finally gotten up the courage to buy a romance novel when she’d been at the grocery store a month or so ago. She had always been curious about those books, but since she’d lived with her parents, she had never been brave enough to buy one.

      So, at the age of twenty-four, she had gotten her very first one. And it had been educational. Very, very educational. She had been a little afraid of it, to be honest.

      Because those illicit feelings brought about late at night by hazy images and the slide of sheets against her bare skin had suddenly become focused and specific after reading that book.

      And if that book had been the fantasy, Jonathan was the reality. It made her want to turn tail and run. But she couldn’t. Because if she did, then he would know what no one else knew about her.

      She couldn’t risk him knowing.

      They were practically strangers. They had nothing in common. These feelings were ridiculous. At least Grant had been the kind of person she was suited to.

      Which begged the question—why didn’t he make her feel this off-kilter?

      Her face felt like it was on fire, and she was sure Jonathan could easily read her reaction. That was the problem. It had taken her longer to understand what she was feeling than it had likely taken him. Because he wasn’t sheltered like she was.

      Sheltered even from her own desire.

      The word made her shiver. Because it was one she had avoided thinking until now.

      Desire.

      Did she desire him? And if she did, what did that mean?

      Her mouth went dry as several possibilities floated through her mind. Each more firmly rooted in fantasy than the last, since she had no practical experience with any of this.

      And it was going to stay that way. At least for now.

      Small steps. This job was her first small step. And it was a job, not a chance for her to get ridiculous over a man.

      “Did you have anything else you wanted me to do?” she asked, not turning to face him, keeping her gaze resolutely pinned to the computer screen.

      He was silent for a moment, and for some reason, the silence felt thick. “Did you finish entering the invoices?”

      “Yes.”

      “Good,” he said. “Here.” He handed her his phone. “If anyone calls, say I’m not available, but you’re happy to take a message. And I want you to call the county office and ask about the permits listed in the other spreadsheet I have open. Just get a status update on that. Do you cook?”

      She blinked. “What?”

      “Do you cook? I hired you to be my assistant. Which includes things around the house. And I eat around the house.”

      “I cook,” she said, reeling from the change of topic.

      “Great. Have something ready for me, and if I’m not back before you knock off at five, just keep it warm.”

      Then he turned and walked out, leaving her feeling both relieved and utterly confused. All those positive thoughts from this morning seemed to be coming back to haunt her, mock her.

      The work she could handle. It was the man that scared her.

      * * *

      The first week of working with Hayley had been pretty good, in spite of that hiccup on the first day.

      The one where he had touched her skin and felt just how soft it was. Something he never should have done.

      But she was a good assistant. And every evening when he came in from dealing with ranch work his dinner was ready. That had been kind of a dick move, asking her to cook, but in truth, he hadn’t put a very detailed job description

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