LITMIR.BIZ

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was how she kept control.

CHAPTER ONE

      ‘I DON’T WANT to work there.’

      It was, for Emily, as simple as that.

      She and Hugh had been working together for close to three years now and often caught up on a Monday. Now, in their lunch break, they sat in the staffroom at their favourite table, putting the world to rights.

      ‘I think you’d be very good in Accident and Emergency,’ Hugh said. ‘Anyway, it’s only for three months.’

      ‘Well, why don’t you go and work in Labour and Delivery for three months and then get back to me with that statement.’

      ‘Fair point,’ Hugh conceded.

      ‘I’m going to speak to Miriam today and see if there’s any way I can get out of doing it.’

      Miriam, the head of Critical Nursing, had, last year, decided to rotate the staff on the units. Emily had reluctantly done a three-month stint in ICU and had thought that would be the end of it, but Miriam had decided to press on with internally rotating the staff. Emily had been told that in June she would be commencing a term in Accident and Emergency.

      Theatre was Emily’s stomping ground. The thought of working in Emergency was unsettling—the drama of it, the emotion, the constant loaning out of your heart if you chose to empathise, or the burn-out that left you a tough bitch. Emily couldn’t decide what was worse. She had no intention of revealing to Hugh the real reasons she was so opposed to the idea, so instead she changed the subject.

      ‘So, is it true?’ Hugh didn’t reply to her question but Emily pushed on. ‘Have you and Olivia broken up?’

      ‘Yep.’

      ‘I thought you two were happy.’

      ‘We were,’ Hugh said. ‘When we were together.’

      ‘What do you mean?’

      It was Hugh who sat silent for a moment now. He and Olivia had been happy. Everyone had said how suited they were and, yes, their relationship had ticked most boxes.

      Two boxes had been missing, though.

      Olivia’s jealousy and trust issues were one and as for the other …

      He looked across the table to where Emily was peeling open her croissant and sprinkling more black pepper onto the cheese and tomato that filled it. She loved black pepper—there were always a couple of sachets in the pocket of her scrubs.

      He knew a lot more about her than he had three years ago.

      Just not enough.

      ‘I don’t know how to explain it, Em,’ Hugh admitted. ‘I don’t know why Olivia felt that every time I was late home or out on a work do that there had to be more to it …’

      ‘You do have a reputation,’ Emily pointed out. As much as she liked catching up with Hugh, she loathed hearing about his life, his girlfriends, the wild parties and frequent holidays and weekends away.

      Mondays were sometimes torture.

      In fact, sometimes Emily dreaded them.

      ‘Perhaps I do have a reputation around the hospital but I’ve never cheated when I’m seeing someone …’ Hugh chose to go back a few years and watched a dull blush spread on her neck. ‘If I am then I wouldn’t so much as kiss another person.’

      ‘Well …’ Emily flustered a little. It was far too late, all these years on, to tell him there had never been a Gregory. It was far safer not to—that little black mark against her name was one she would happily wear if it kept her at a distance from Hugh. ‘So what brought it to a head?’

      ‘There’s a conference coming up in a couple of months that Hadfield wants me to go on. I only mentioned it in passing but … The thing is, if I’m going to stand any chance of getting the consultancy then I really ought to go and concentrate—but Olivia seemed to think it was a good chance to have a couple of days’ holiday, then she couldn’t fathom why I might not want her to go with me …’ His green eyes met Emily’s. ‘If I do get the consultancy position, things are only going to get busier for me. Call me selfish but I want to focus on my career and that means I can’t be checking in every five minutes and reassuring someone that I’m behaving …’ Hugh shook his head. ‘Am I unreasonable?’

      ‘No.’ Emily fully agreed and she genuinely meant her words. She had long ago learnt from her parents that a million phone calls and texts meant little. ‘If someone’s going to cheat, they will.’

      Hugh rolled his eyes. ‘The point is, Em, I don’t cheat. More to the point right now, Alex is pretty angry that I’ve broken up with Olivia and I want that promotion.’ Hugh brooded for a moment. ‘I got turned down last year.’

      ‘Ouch,’ Emily said.

      ‘I get it that I perhaps wasn’t ready then but I am ready now.’

      ‘He can’t judge whether or not you get the role on that.’

      ‘I’m sure he wouldn’t admit to it, but he’s of the opinion that behind every great surgeon is a stable home life …’ Hugh rolled his eyes and Emily laughed. ‘I want that role,’ Hugh said. Alex was a professor now and a consultancy position had officially opened up and Hugh could think of no one that he wanted to work alongside more. Alex was an amazing mentor. His technique and studies into laparoscopic surgery were right at the front of the game and every hour of every day Alex taught him something new.

      ‘Behave for a few months, then!’ Emily said. ‘It really isn’t that difficult.’

      ‘Oh, but it is when you find yourself suddenly single.’ Hugh drained his cup and then headed back to work. Emily sat alone for a while, pondering a suddenly single Hugh.

      It was the time she loathed him most.

      Or rather the time she loathed most.

      Hugh worked hard and partied the same way. If she didn’t have to hear it on Monday in Theatre then it was all over bloody Facebook.

      She had the next hour at the computer to work on the off-duty roster then she was down to scrub for Alex, but instead of heading to tackle the roster Emily looked over at Miriam, who was just heading out of the staffroom.

      Instead of rinsing her cup and plate, Emily put them in the sink and caught up with her. ‘Miriam, I wondered if I could have a word.’

      ‘Now?’ Miriam checked, and Emily nodded.

      This needed to be done.

      They stepped into Miriam’s office and Emily took a seat as Miriam gave her a thin smile. ‘I can guess what this is about. I know that you’re not keen to go to A and E.’

      ‘Because I’m happy here,’ Emily said.

      ‘Emily, rotating the critical care staff has proved a success. Handovers are smoother, we’re all more aware of the other departments’ procedures …’

      ‘I understand that,’ Emily said, ‘but I chose to be a theatre nurse.’

      ‘And you’re a very good one,’ Miriam said. ‘One who I hope will go far …’ She left the rest unsaid but to Emily it was clear that if she wanted to go further in her career here, which she did, then she would have to comply. ‘It’s a couple of months away,’ Miriam added. ‘There’s plenty of time to get used to the idea.’

      Emily didn’t want to get used to the idea, she liked being used to here!

      ‘Any luck with Miriam?’ Hugh asked at the end of the day as Emily came out of the changing room dressed for the outside world. Hugh was looking pretty drained—he’d been operating since eight a.m. and now would be heading up

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