LITMIR.BIZ

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not breakfast!” Grace started to cry, and Ariel rolled her eyes and told her to grow up. Then Jasmine shouted up from the basement, “Shut the hell up! Some of us are trying to sleep!”

      That’s the way my last morning as a living being started off. Compared to other Monday mornings, it wasn’t all that bad, really.

      With the two younger girls out of the house, I finally had a chance to deal with the other member of our tribe: my stepsister.

      The townhouse had three levels. Ariel and Grace shared one tiny bedroom upstairs, and I occupied the one across the hall. Jasmine dominated the basement. Between us, like a demilitarized zone, lay the living room and kitchen. Ignoring the hairless wonder who still gently snored on the couch, I marched downstairs and pounded on the basement door. “Wake up!”

      “Go ‘way.”

      I opened the door and flipped on the lights. Jasmine pulled the covers over her head, but I yanked them down again. “It’s Monday, Jas. You promised you’d find a job today.”

      Jasmine was twenty-three; a college dropout who was convinced the only thing standing between her and a career as a high-paid fashion designer was a run of bad luck and not a deficiency of talent, drive, and energy.

      What Jas lacked in skill and knowledge, however, she made up for in looks. I don’t mind admitting that I’m good looking – at nearly thirty-five, I have no wrinkles, perfect legs, and auburn hair without a single thread of gray – but Jasmine is absolutely gorgeous. Hers is a blend of my stepfather’s Asian features – hair like black silk, flawless toffee-colored complexion, dark, exotic eyes – and her mother’s perfect cheekbones, impressive height and natural grace. Needless to say, men fall for her. Hence, the need for those two commandments on my list.

      Jas glared at me, yanked the covers out of my hands, and pulled them back over her head. “I’ll find a job tomorrow,” she said, her voice muffled.

      “That’s what you said last week. Which is now last year, in fact. Don’t forget; your New Year’s resolution was to get a job.”

      On New Year’s Eve, Grace, Ariel and I had planned to watch the ball drop in Times Square, but I’d fallen asleep even before Ryan Seacrest began the countdown. Jasmine, on the other hand, stayed out all night. When she came home the next morning, she was missing one of the shoes she’d borrowed from me, had put a dent in the front fender of my car, and was still drunk. However, she had promised to find a job. Something I wouldn’t let her slip out of now.

      “Jasmine, you getting up?”

      I jumped at the sound of a male voice. Standing behind me was the hairless wonder. To my relief, he’d done the decent thing and wrapped the blanket around his waist to hide his skivvies. Despite his fearsome appearance, he grinned good-naturedly and held out his hand. “Tommy Lefevre. Nice to meet you.”

      “Lilith Straight.”

      “Jas’s stepsister.” His smile widened. “She talks a lot about you.”

      No doubt she complained a lot about me. “That’s funny because she hasn’t mentioned you at all.” I’d wanted him to flinch, but he only smiled serenely.

      “Tommy’s my spiritual advisor,” Jasmine said.

      I snorted, unimpressed. Was she kidding? But, no, I could see by her reverent expression that she wasn’t. Only my stepsister would willingly take spiritual advice from an unemployed bum with a demon tattoo and more metal in his face than the hardware section of Home Depot.

      “I’m helping Jasmine find her path,” Tommy said. He glanced at Jasmine who sat on the end of her bed wearing nothing but a tiny chemise and a thong. Watching him watch her, I wasn’t fooled for a moment. This guy could call himself a minister, a shaman, a monk, or even a witch doctor, but his eyes were crawling over Jasmine like a greedy bumblebee on the center of a daisy. Spiritual advisor, my ass.

      “Well, maybe you can help her find a path to the employment agency,” I said. I started towards the stairs, but he blocked my way.

      “You don’t believe me, do you?” he asked, disappointed.

      I’m a master in the art of sarcasm. I can draw blood at fifty paces. “Of course I do. And I think it’s wonderful that Jas is interested in religion.”

      “Not religion,” Jas chided. “Spirituality.”

      I narrowed my eyes at her. “Whatever.”

      “Here, let me see your palm.” Tommy reached for my hand. The narrow hallway made it impossible to move away, so I unwillingly relented. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he examined my hand. “H-m-m.”

      I was curious in spite of myself. “H-m-m what?”

      “Your lifeline is very short. It stops here, but picks up again here.” He tapped the center of my palm.

      “Oh, let me see. Let me see!” Jasmine crowded against me.

      Tommy frowned. “There’s also something strange about your aura.”

      I yanked my hand back. “Oh, please.” If there’s anything worse than a cliché, it was a religious cliché.

      “I’m not kidding,” he said. “Something’s off. Possibly something serious.” He anxiously tugged on one ear. “My sister’s aura was bloody red on the day she… Well, it was bloody red.”

      “What’s going to happen to Lilith?” Jasmine’s eyes glowed. She looked as excited as Ariel when she caught me breaking a rule.

      “I have to use the bathroom.” I shoved myself in between them.

      “I know you don’t believe me, but do yourself a favor, okay?” Tommy said. “Be careful today. Wear your seatbelt. Don’t give rides to strangers. That kind of thing.”

      Jas made a farting noise through her lips. “Are you kidding me? Lilith wouldn’t cross the street without looking five ways. She wouldn’t even talk to a stranger, let alone give one a ride. For her, leaving the house without an umbrella is risky. And she’d never –”

      “Okay, Jas, we get the picture,” I said.

      “I’m just saying, you’re a careful person, that’s all.”

      I glared at her and started up the stairs. “I’m leaving in an hour. Jas, I’ll expect you to be gone by then as well. And before you leave, take out the trash.”

      “That’s Ariel’s job, not mine,” Jasmine howled.

      “That’s not what she meant, Jas,” the hairless wonder said. “She’s talking about me.” This time, I was pleased to see that he did look hurt.

      Not until Grace complained that her clothes no longer fit did I notice that she had a little gut hanging over her jeans. The next month, her doctor confirmed what I’d suspected: my daughter was gaining too much weight. Don’t get me wrong – I love my daughter the way she is – but I also wanted to keep her healthy. Hence rule number three of the Straight Ten Commandments: Thou shalt eat no junk food.

      However, twenty minutes before being run down by the white Volvo, I ordered a double Bates burger, large fries, and a large Coke. I always eat when I’m nervous, and my upcoming meeting with my ex-husband was making me very anxious. When my order was finally up, I eagerly grabbed the greasy bag.

      Before I took my first bite, however, I paused. Jasmine’s friend’s warning rang in my head. Be extra careful, he’d told me. Could a simple hamburger be my undoing? Was a case of e-coli poisoning in my future? I wasn’t a superstitious person, but then again, I wasn’t one for tempting the fates, either. Plus, Tommy had seemed so sincere. I dithered for a moment before deciding not to take any chances. I dumped the burger and fries in the garbage, then tossed the Coke as well. Who knew? Maybe all that sugar would put me into a diabetic coma.

      Stopping for the Bates burger made me late for my appointment.

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