LITMIR.BIZ

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the penguins were anxious at the idea of being left to fend for themselves in foreign parts, it didn’t seem to bother Orson.

      “Ah, stuff the zoo,” he said. “So what if it closes? I’m sick of being cooped up on a fake mountain, day in, day out. Yee ha! I’m going back to Canada. I’ve got a cousin there. I’ll call him on my new mobile when it arrives and tell him to make up the spare bed.”

      “You’re getting a mobile?” scoffed Muriel. “Yeah right.”

      “I heard it with my own ears,” said Ursie. “Savannah said the K135 was for Orson.”

      Rory, who’d heard differently, felt it was only fair to put them straight.

      “She said the K135 was awesome, not for Orson.”

      There was an embarrassed silence, punctuated with explosive tittering from Muriel, but Orson shrugged it off.

      “So I won’t phone Canada, I’ll just turn up and say howdy. I can’t wait! I’m going to run through the woods and catch wild salmon and…”

      “I don’t think so,” said Ursie. “You run like an overstuffed teddy, you can’t catch and salmon brings your bottom out in a rash. You wouldn’t last five minutes in the Rockies.”

      Panic was breaking out all over the zoo from the reptile house to the aquarium. The crocodile was scared he’d end up as a handbag if he was sent to Egypt, the spitting cobra’s mouth went dry at the thought of being stuffed into a basket by an Indian snake charmer, the rhino was afraid he’d be poached in Africa, the camel was frightened he’d fry in Arabia and the warthog was so certain he’d be roasted wherever he went, he rolled in his own dung to make himself taste nasty.

      When the zoo opened its gates later that morning, the few visitors who had bothered to come were very disappointed to find that most of the animals were not on display – they were hiding in fear of their lives.

      The meerkats had gone underground, the leopard skulked into the back of his cave and even the hippo managed to disappear by holding his breath underwater. If he hadn’t blown off like a thunderclap and given away his position with a string of bubbles no one would have known he was there.

      “This zoo is rubbish!” cried a small boy. “I can’t see any penguins!”

      The penguins were there, but they were all hiding behind a fake cliff waiting for Big Paulie to lead them in a crisis meeting. For some reason, however, Big Paulie hadn’t turned up. Every time the penguins had had a problem in the past, the mighty emperor penguin had sorted it. He’d been around for as long as anyone could remember.

      He’d originally come from Antarctica and as he’d travelled by plane, he always joked that he was the only penguin capable of flight. If the stories were to be believed, Big Paulie was so tough, he could dive five hundred metres under the sea without his head exploding. He was so hard, he once trekked one hundred kilometres across the icy wastes without food. He was so brave, he’d rescued his own father from the jaws of a killer whale. No wonder the other penguins were a little scared of him.

      “It’s good that he’s scary, Rory,” Blue had once explained. “Remember the terrible Battle of Nesting Box between the rockhoppers and the chinstraps? If they’d had no respect for Paulie, they’d still be fighting over where to make their nests. And what about the time he protected the emperor chicks from an escaped baboon? If it hadn’t been scared of Paulie, it might have killed us all.”

      But time was ticking on, there was still no sign of Paulie and the penguins were getting impatient.

      “It’s unusual for him to be late,” muttered Waldo, one of the chinstrap penguins. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him for a while. I wonder if there’s some sort of crisis?”

      “Duh!” groaned Muriel. “There’s a zoo-closing crisis. Does Paulie even know about it? If he won’t come to us, we’ll have to go to him, unless you ninnies have a better idea?”

      “Rory has!” said Blue proudly. “He’s thinking of a plan to save the zoo.”

      All the penguins shuffled round and stared at him hopefully.

      “Let’s hear it then,” said Muriel, folding her flippers.

      “Maybe later?” said Rory. “It still needs a little working on.”

      But Muriel wasn’t prepared to wait.

      “Here’s my plan, you go and ask Paulie for help. Everybody get behind Rory!”

      “You can go in front if you like,” said Rory, but all the penguins formed an orderly line and waited for him to lead the way to Paulie’s Palace. At this time of day, Big Paulie could usually be found working-out in his courtyard – he was famous for his one-flipper press-ups and had an amazing six-pack for a penguin – but when they got there, there was no sign of him.

      “He’s gone out,” said Rory, relieved. “Let’s come back tomorrow.”

      “Try knocking, bird-brain,” said Muriel, rapping on the door. At the sound of footsteps, she pushed Rory forward. As the boss appeared, everyone else drew back, shocked by how scruffy Paulie looked. His head feathers were sticking out like a punk rocker’s and he smelled terrible.

      “Eugh, what are those things stuck to his vest?” whispered Muriel. “Mouldy sequins?”

      They were sprat eyes. Big Paulie, who was the best-groomed penguin in the zoo, had spilled fish down himself. It seemed he hadn’t bothered to preen before hitting the nest and had fallen asleep in his day feathers. His eyes were bright red and though that was the natural colour for a rockhopper, emperor penguins had brown eyes. Maybe Paulie had been peeling onions – but where would he get them from? Whatever the cause, he wasn’t himself at all.

      “Tell Paulie the bad news, Rory,” prompted Muriel.

      Rory took a deep breath and was about to speak when Paulie held up a flipper for silence.

      “I don’t wanna know. I’m up to here with bad news.”

      He waved them away irritably and turned to go inside.

      “Say something, Rory,” urged Blue.

      Rory plucked up all his courage.

      “Paulie? This is serious. The zoo is going to close!”

      One toe at a time, as if in great pain, Big Paulie shuffled round to face him again. Rory was expecting to be shouted at but Paulie just gazed at him glumly.

      “So? Whadda you gonna do?”

      “Me?” said Rory. “But you’re the boss, Paulie. I… or rather, we… thought you might do something…”

      Paulie stared into the distance as if he had nothing more to say, so Rory tried again.

      “If they close this zoo, you might end up in a tiny tank in Sea World. Wouldn’t that make you mad, Paulie?”

      The boss made circles with his head as if he was trying to get rid of a wasp.

      “Rory, Rory, whaddo I care? I’m mad with grief already. Yesterday, a migrating seagull told me that my best friend, Chubby O’Neil, was eaten by a leopard seal in the Arctic Ocean. That penguin was like a brother to me. The zoo shuts, whaddo I care? It won’t bring Chubby back, may he rest in pieces.”

      He put his head under his wing. Rory gulped and cleared his throat.

      “Paulie, you have to help us! Penguins who have been friends for life will be separated forever, cast out into the wilderness to be eaten by fierce koalas…”

      Paulie whipped his head out from under his wing.

      “You dare to guilt-trip me about being separated from friends when my best friend Chubby is lost at sea for

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