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      Beauty Before Comfort

      A MEMOIR

      Allison Glock

       For Dixie Jean and Matilda Mercy Law

       There’s something about the pottery. You build up quite a companionship, a comradeship, whatever you call it. You take a little bit of clay and mix it up with water and fire it and make something out of it—there’s romance in that. It just gets in your blood.

      —ED CARSON, POTTER, 1985

       No potter that ever lived can be overlooked, no ware, however humble, can be despised.

      —SATURDAY REVIEW, 1879

      Everyone has a story to tell. This is the story of my grandmother as she chooses to remember it.

      Contents

       Cover

       Title Page

       Dedication

       Epigraph (a)

       Epigraph (b)

       CHAPTER FIVE

       CHAPTER SIX

       CHAPTER SEVEN

       CHAPTER EIGHT

       CHAPTER NINE

       CHAPTER TEN

       CHAPTER ELEVEN

       CHAPTER TWELVE

       CHAPTER THIRTEEN

       CHAPTER FOURTEEN

       CHAPTER FIFTEEN

       CHAPTER SIXTEEN

       CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

       CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

       EPILOGUE

       ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

       PERMISSIONS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

       ABOUT THE AUTHOR

       Copyright

       About the Publisher

       CHAPTER ONE

      Bless her heart.

      That’s what we say. It’s a catchall.

      “Aunt Sue’s getting divorced.” Bless her heart.

      “Velma lost her job at the bank.” Bless her heart.

      “Crystal backed over the cat with her Cadillac.”

      Bless her heart. Bless the cat’s heart.

      And so that is what we say when we are told, “Your grandmother is getting worse.”

      Bless her heart, we say, although really her heart has never been better. The problem is, as always, in her head.

       CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA, 2000

      The tiny nursing home bedroom is crowded with family. It is my grandmother’s eightieth birthday and we are trying to get her dressed. Though old, my grandmother is an able woman, so that is not the problem. The problem is style. We are dressing her for a party, her party, and so she wishes to appear festive, and the beige sweater, slacks, and boots her three daughters have selected for her are not cutting it.

      “I don’t think that will do at all,” she says, tossing the sweater off the bed. “And no one is wearing those anymore,” she says, squinting and pointing a crumpled arthritic finger at the ankle boots.

      She is right, of course. No one wears ankle boots anymore, but her insistence on looking in vogue draws eye rolls and heavy sighs from her girls.

      “How about a nice skirt and sweater set?” she suggests. “Something in a yellow, my yellow.” Dutifully, her oldest daughter leaves to go fetch a new ensemble from the mall. Grandmother relaxes and leans back onto her bed. She eyes the group gathered around her, her daughters and their children and various boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives, and wrinkles her forehead.

      “Where’s Glen?”

      Glen is her second daughter Jody’s husband, an ex–pro football player prone to complaining.

      “He’s at the doctor’s office,” says Jody. “Something’s wrong with his private area.”

      “Bless his heart,” says Grandmother.

      “He has bad balls,” says Jill, her youngest daughter, cutting right to it.

      “Well.” Grandmother laughs. “That’s the saddest story I’ve heard all day.” And then: “Don’t you all have anything better to do today than sit around staring at me? Stay any longer and I’m going to start charging rent.”

      Let it be said that there is nothing on God’s green earth my grandmother would consider better than an opportunity to stare at her. She has spent at least seventy of her eighty-two years cultivating stares and making damn sure she has warranted the attention. To gaze at my grandmother is not a passive exercise. She’s no Vermeer. She gives you bang for your buck—be it by making faces, cracking jokes, offering a peek at her undies, or any other shtick she can whip up for your amusement. She’s beyond

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