LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

sort of insult or needless advice. That would have been a start.

      After that, I’m sure my notion of having been jaded by the truth being withheld from me all this time would kick in and an argument would ensue.

      But hadn’t my friends always said making up was the best part of a relationship?

      Before the sun came up, I finally retired to my bedroom and placed the gift in the top of my closet.

      Even on Christmas Day, he never showed.

      I stayed under my blanket for the next twenty-four hours.

      The thing I had been fighting against most my whole life had turned out to be the thing I wanted most, and it was too late.

      The day after Christmas, Mama came to check on me. Her slight weight settled on the bed beside me. She caressed my elbow. “Are you going to be okay?”

      My voice was muffled by the pillow and hoarse from crying. “I thought he’d come home.”

      “He’s not doing as well as you would think—if that helps any.” Mama continued to rub my arm.

      I sat up. “Why doesn’t he want to see me? Haven’t you told him I know and that I want to talk?”

      “Yes. Now he thinks you only want to see him because of your past. He wanted your time in this life to be unblemished by that past.” Mama looked down the flowered bedspread.

      “Well, that’s stupid.” I coiled a handful of blanket into my fist. “It doesn’t make sense. He wanted me to love him. Now that I do, he’s running away. Ugh, I could slug him.”

      “He’s just as stubborn if not worse than he was in his past lives.” Mama shook her head, her face twisted with disdain.

      “Do you think he’ll ever come back?” Tears filled my eyes.

      “I don’t know, honey. He was pretty upset when he left and with the curse not in place, there’s no telling whether the pull you once felt toward each other will ever guide you again.”

      “Free will sucks,” I said flatly.

      “I am a strong believer in fate working itself out. You just try to make it through the next day, and when you get sad, just take deep breaths and remember you are a breath closer to figuring yourself out with each one. Don’t try to tackle eternity just yet; take it one breath at a time.” Mama squeezed my hand.

      “How’d you get so wise?” I looked to the picture of Cole and me lying on the bed. I had tried not to crumple it as I slept, but it was starting to show signs of wear.

      Mama picked up the picture.

      “I had good role models.” She nodded to the picture with a bright smile. “They taught me the value of love, life and everything in between.”

      Mama got up and kissed my forehead. She put the picture on my nightstand, and left me with a lot to think about.

      * * * *

      Summer dragged by.

      I vacationed in Paris, Barcelona, England, and Switzerland. No matter where I was, I couldn’t get the look on Cole’s face that last time I had seen him out of my head. There was no longer a crushing feeling in my chest though. I had begun to find peace without him.

      I may have even matured a bit. Now that I had no one to point out all the stupid things I had done or would probably do, I no longer felt the rebellious urge to carry on the way I had.

      Stupidly.

      Looking back, I couldn’t understand how anyone in the house could stand me. I had been a complete spoiled brat, and I was embarrassed that I had behaved so insolently.

      When I returned from vacation, my senior year was fast approaching, and I was actually excited about school. As I sorted and hung clothes that I had purchased from shops at the various cities I’d visited, I came across a box in the top of my closet.

      From time to time, I took it down to swipe the dust off the top but couldn’t bring myself to look on its contents. It saddened me too much.

      It reminded me of what I’d lost.

      Chapter 3

      Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. A few years finally passed. I’d taken online classes my first two years of college, and it was time to enroll in a campus-based school. I’d finish out my degree away from the home. Maybe it would help to get away from the manor. Since I’d graduated high school, I’d become a recluse.

      Cole and I’d had exchanged roles.

      I’d read all the books in the house pertaining to the past history of the family. All Cole’s old journals had begun as good reading material and left me between tearful fits and sobs. I’d never known a more honorable man. And all those years he’d been right under my nose. In this lifetime, he may have been in love with me, but he was definitely concerned for everything that had to do with me.

      And I’d shoved him away at every turn.

      I flipped through my emails and finished out the requirements for the college applications. So far, I’d had no acceptances, but it had only been two days since I’d sent in the first one to Western Carolina University.

      I was a shoo-in, with perfect grades, so I don’t know why I was so nervous.

      I could have chosen any college, but I really wanted that one.

      Two days later, emails came flying in from all the schools to which I’d applied. Accepted.

      Western still called out to me.

      So, I sent in my payment for the first semester.

      * * * *

      Shoes, clothes, school supplies, my laptop, and one box that had gathered dust in my closet for months filled all the empty space in my car that wasn’t required to drive it. I couldn’t find it in me to leave the box. I couldn’t give up hope.

      One day, I’d see Cole again. Even if we never spoke, I wanted him to have it so he’d know I paid attention to the things he’d like when we were younger and that all the small things had mattered.

      The finely kept grounds around The Village Hall at Western Carolina was akin to the way the house at home had looked most days when Cole had been home. Keeping the groundskeepers under control had been Cole’s chore since he was fifteen, but since he’d been gone, the place had lost a bit of its lushness.

      I swear he’d been a plant whisperer. He’d had a way with plants and foliage like no other person on the property.

      After reading his journals, I could see how that could be possible. A hundred years of landscaping something would tend to help you learn your way around a weed eater and some Miracle-Gro.

      From the looks of my campus, it was full of life. Exactly what I needed since mine had seemed to stop back home.

      Guys dressed in hamburger and fry suits ran by singing, “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard….”

      I didn’t know if I would grow accustomed to all the noise with so much hustle and bustle surrounding my dorm, but if it didn’t work out, I could always rent an apartment, which had been my first choice. Mama, however, had insisted that I surround myself with people.

      A flourish of people surrounding me seemed like a terrible idea at first, but their enthusiasm was contagious. I’d already cracked a smile at least two times before I made it to the door with one box. The halls were a flutter of activity as students carried plastic storage containers and bags to their rooms.

      “I hope my roommate has as many shoes as you.” A cheery voice come from behind me.

      I turned with my book bag on my back and one clear suitcase full of shoes in my hand.

      “I’m Nicki Witzel,” the tall blonde with green eyes said. “I’d shake your hand,

Скачать книгу