LITMIR.BIZ

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to hurt you, then if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d like you to wear the ring.”

      Allie’s face went blank. She looked past me into the distance beyond the grounds.

      I couldn’t read her.

      Either her mind had stopped producing thoughts, or she was so scared to hear what I had to say she was blank.

      She put the lid back on the box and stepped closer to my side. “Maybe I don’t want to hear more bad news. I’d like one normal day with you.”

      “The last time you told me you didn’t want me to tell you what I’d done, I listened and you almost hated me when you learned the truth. I’m not going to do that again.” I turned her to face me. “You have to know.”

      “Not tonight.” She shook her head. “I need some recovery time.”

      “First thing tomorrow.” I put my forehead on hers and slipped the rings back into my pocket. Maybe she’d be more willing to wear them if the proposal wasn’t centered on Grace as our whole lives seemed to always be.

      Allie leaned back and narrowed her gaze.

      “Wait. Did you practice with another woman while you were away?” she asked, a new fire in her eyes.

      “No. I would never do that.” I wanted to tell her now, but she’d asked for no bad news.

      “Good.” Allie picked up her shoes and turned back to me. “Walk me to my room.”

      She’d never sounded so much like Annabeth, her original soul, the stronger version of Allie’s self, as she did just then. I didn’t know if she’d ever be susceptible to my telling her that, with her insecurities about other women and all, but it was endearing.

      They were the same person.

      Just layered.

      Annabeth would have made me tell her, then thrown something at me in rebuttal. This version of Annabeth was spent. I couldn’t blame her. A hundred years of not knowing who she was, why she was so lonely and couldn’t love anyone else had probably exhausted her.

      With Allie barefoot and her head on my arm, I led her toward her suite of rooms, the first doors on the left at the top of the sweeping staircase.

      We were both quiet until she came to a mindless halt. Her gaze seemed to stop on the wooden carvings of the staircase. “Would it be too much to ask for you to hold me while I sleep?”

      My legs turned to Jello. I would have to practice at predicting her moods and what she might expect from me. Note to self.

      She begged me with her eyes. “I’m scared. I hate that I am, but I am. The dreams Grace gave me were always so awful. I don’t want to be alone. Please don’t make me be alone.”

      “I’ll hold you for as long as I can.” Sooo not a good idea, but in the wake of everything that had happened since I’d returned, she wasn’t asking much. It wasn’t her fault a heartless, soulless ghoul had haunted her every waking second.

      In other circumstances, her triumphant smirk would have broken through. After my revelation, she looked thinner, and circles had formed under her eyes.

      Just before we started up, Shelby and Kaitlyn walked in from the grand entrance of the house. Kaitlyn had been taking her earrings out when she spotted us. Her blue evening dress was much more reserved than Shelby’s, as always.

      Kaitlyn smiled and squeezed my arm.

      They hugged Allie and murmured reassuring words as they conveyed thoughts only I could hear.

      Shelby said, “Keep her safe. She doesn’t look so good.”

      Allie stared straight ahead.

      Kaitlyn’s eyes widened as she glanced at me. “I’m worried about her.”

      I nodded. “Me too. She’s going to hate me before this is all over.”

      Kaitlyn shook her head. “We’ll keep watch from the living room until we decide to turn in for the night. Then we’ll be right beside her in case you need to go eat.”

      “Yeah, there’s this new show about a motel…” Shelby looked at me.

      I choked.

      “It’s about a boy and his mom. Chill.” She snickered.

      Allie’s limp hand fell from mine, and in robotic motions she started up the stairs.

      “If I’d ever had a sister, I’m sure she would have been just like you. And she wouldn’t have lived very long,” I said through clenched teeth.

      “Just reminding you of what you missed.” Shelby’s voice was sing-song.

      I huffed and followed Allie upstairs. She went through her nightly rituals with me waiting in a wingback chair close to her bed. I must’ve shifted my weight nine or ten times. Tried to find something in the room other than her to stare at. Tucked and untucked my shirt. Anything to get my mind off how beautiful she was and how inappropriate it was to feel so strongly attracted at a time like this. This was not the time to let the stupid animal rear his ugly fur.

      In mindless strokes, she sat at the vanity and brushed her hair. When the water turned off in the bathroom, she ambled to the bed without making eye contact with me. Climbing under the covers, she scooted to the middle and faced away from me.

      I took an unsteady breath. This was not how I imagined my first night holding her would play out. Sinking into the feather mattress, I slid close to Allie.

      Normally, she would have melted against me, but she was rigid.

      I closed my eyes, took a deep breath. Pressing my body against her and draping my arm over her side, I tried to get comfortable but not too comfortable. It was only then that I could feel her body quivering. Letting out little whimpers, she turned her face into her pillow.

      That was the instant cold shower I needed.

      There was nothing I could say to lessen her pain, so I was silent.

      A few minutes later, her frustration wilted, and she sank back against me. “I hate her for ruining every tender moment we could have.”

      Stroking her arm, I buried my face in her hair. In case the scent became too provocative, I pulled away. “I’ll never stop trying to make you happy. I will see to it that she is destroyed and that you get your happily ever after.”

      “What if she never goes away? You’ll spend your life fighting with her. That’s what she wants. All your attention on her.” Allie went rigid and stared toward the long ray of moonlight falling into the room. “I’m jealous. It’s dumb to admit. But I am. I hate her. She gets to remember. She gets to spend more time with you. She knows what it feels like to hold you, to make love to you. It’s not fair.”

      So that’s what this was about. Grace had raped me, but Allie still saw that as Grace being closer to me than she had ever been allowed to be. Grace having the upper hand.

      “Come here.” My voice was low.

      She rolled to face me. Her gorgeous eyelashes were still damp with tears, and her long tresses spread across the pillow. Her legs touched mine, sending heat up my thighs. I inhaled sharply, but repressed impure thoughts.

      “She may have had my body, but you have my soul.” I kissed her eyes, then her flushed cheeks.

      I also wouldn’t allow myself to touch her too much. It would be deceptive to pretend I hadn’t somewhat wronged her.

      She was still, her eyes wide and hopeful. Her fingers traced my lips, and with their touch, my normally irreversible shuddering began.

      No.

      I wouldn’t allow him out.

      Allie wrapped one leg around mine and pulled her body closer to me so our stomachs touched. Allie’s full, pink lips

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