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What me and my husband do doesn’t concern you. Worry about yours and his mistress.”

      My aunty slammed the door in her face, and I could hear my mother storm down the stairs and jump into her car.

      “It’s okay, Aunty.” I tapped my aunty on her thigh. “They always make up.”

      “No man is supposed to put his hands on you,” she said to me sternly. “You hear me? No man.”

      “I know, but he’s always sorry,” I said, taking up for my daddy. “You’ll see, he’s going to buy her something pretty.”

      My aunty stood silent, her eyes combed my face and seemed to say something to me that perhaps I was too young or too naive to understand. And although I didn’t know everything about life yet, I knew enough to know that she could talk to my mother until she was red in the face, Jazmyn and Zach Fields would never change and Friday nights would always be the same.

      “Aunty,” I said, breaking the troubling silence, “I need to change my clothes. I have had these things on for two days.”

      “I knew I smelled something,” my cousin Seven said, laughing and running into her room.

      “I’ma get you!” I laughed while running behind her. “I’ma get you!”

      For the next few hours we played with my cousins, and before we knew anything my mother had returned with an even wider smile and the prettiest diamonds I’d ever seen dangling from her ears.

      “Mommy,” I said, “those are pretty.”

      “Thank you, honey.” She looked at my aunty Grier. “He said he was sorry.”

      “He does every time.”

      “Look.” My mother grabbed me and my sister by the hand. “I have to go.”

      “I’m sure you do,” my aunty said as we walked out her front door. “I’m sure you do.”

      The next few weeks at home were surprisingly calm. There was no Chinese food, beer, or Hennessy. We even saw my brother more. I’d never been this happy and prayed that things stayed this way. We had a lot of fun together, and what I discovered during that time was my daddy had a sense of humor. Can you believe it? He was funny. Oh, and my mother could sing. I never knew any of those things. I hardly watched TV anymore because we’d become masters at entertaining one another.

      It was the last day of school, and I was sad that I wouldn’t be seeing my friends every day for a while. I mean, I knew I would see them every now and then on the block, but it wouldn’t be the same as daily.

      Besides, I hated goodbyes, and this is exactly what today felt like…the end.

      We all signed each other’s autograph books and wrote crazy messages to one another. This was it for sixth grade, and we were on our way to junior high.

      From where I was standing I could see Malachi watching me from across the room. I thought about going over and talking to him for a quick moment, but then I changed my mind. There was no way I could let anyone, besides Courtney and Asha, know I was in love with him.

      When the bell rang and everyone gathered their things, I lagged behind so that I could say bye to Malachi, especially since my emotions and embarrassment wouldn’t allow me to say goodbye in front of anyone.

      Once the classroom was cleared and everyone rushed into the hallway, I walked over to Malachi and stood in front of his desk. I didn’t know what the heck I should do or what I should say, so while the teacher’s back was turned I did what I’d secretly been dreaming about for weeks. I planted a wet one on his lips, and then before he realized what had happened to him I took off running, leaving nothing but the echo of my Nikes behind.

      By the time I arrived home I was completely out of breath. I could hear music playing as I opened the apartment door, and spotted Chinese food on the dining room table. My heart immediately fell to my chest. Hell on Earth was back again. I swear I hated Chinese food.

      My mother looked at me and smiled. “Hey, Zsa.” She held her arms out for a hug. “How was the last day of school?”

      “It was okay.” I hunched my shoulders.

      “Well, tell me about it later.” She smiled. “Your father brought Chinese food.”

      “I see,” I said, looking at the table and then glancing at the case of beer and bottle of Hennessy on the counter. It was official. Our dysfunctional routine was back in motion. Derrick didn’t waste any time leaving. I felt as if I was waiting on an inevitable car crash.

      “What’s wrong, Zsa-Zsa?” my mother asked while I finished up my food.

      “Nothing,” I said, watching my father drink his fourth beer.

      My mother followed the direction of my eyes, and she snapped. “Zach, don’t you see Zsa-Zsa is upset with you starting to drink so much again?”

      My eyes bugged out of my head. I couldn’t believe my mother did that! Now the argument was about me? It was my fault? Now I knew for sure when the wall thumped I would be the cause. “Ma, I didn’t say that.”

      “As long as she knows,” my daddy said, slurring his words, “not to do what I do, but to do what I tell her to, she ain’t got to worry.”

      My father belched and my mother started screaming, “What was that?”

      I couldn’t believe it, just like that we were upside down again, and this time it was all my fault.

      “You startin’ again, Zach?” my mother said. “Keep it up and you gon’ be right back in jail!” She stormed into their bedroom and a few minutes later he stomped in behind her.

      It didn’t take long before the wall was jumping again. I tried to comfort my sister, but after a while I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed Hadiah’s hand and we headed upstairs to Malachi’s. I twisted the knob on Malachi’s apartment door and it was locked. My heart started beating like a drum. I twisted it again and nothing. I nervously started biting my bottom lip.

      I swallowed the lump in my throat and knocked softly. Tears filled my eyes as I found my knocks growing harder and louder with each passing minute. My stomach was churning and my knees started to buckle. I didn’t know if I was getting sick or if I had to pee really bad. I started pounding on the door again. I needed Malachi to be home now more than ever. I pounded and pounded and pounded until the sides of my fists were turning red.

      “Hey, sweets” interrupted my banging. I turned around and it was the woman next door. “What are you doing up here alone this time of the night?”

      “I was looking for Malachi.” I wiped my eyes.

      “Oh, honey.” She waved her hand. “Malachi and his family moved.”

      “No.” I shook my head. “He wouldn’t leave me.”

      “Well, honey, I hate to be the one to tell you, but he is gone. He and his family moved to Murfreesboro, North Carolina.”

      At this moment North Carolina sounded as if it were on another planet.

      “And Murfreesboro, North Carolina,” the neighbor carried on, “is a long way from here, so you better go on back home. I’m sure your parents are looking for you two.”

      I felt frozen, as if someone had just turned me into ice and then without warning I melted, and before I knew anything I’d slid to the floor with a crying Hadiah leaning against my shoulder.

      1

      Daydreamin’ ’bout you all day in school, can’t concentrate…

      —ALICIA KEYS, “TEENAGE LOVE AFFAIR”

      Five Years Later, 2009

      “Can’t wait to get home, baby, dial your number…”

      Zsa-Zsa

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