LITMIR.BIZ

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him—and then toward the end he up and disappeared on me. When I called him on it he basically acted like I was nuts to have developed such strong feelings for him. “It was never that major,” was basically what he told me and I was humiliated and disappointed. But to her credit Zoe did not say she told me so. Instead she acted sad for me, concurred that he can be an asshole, and then got around to telling us about her boyfriend troubles. She always has boyfriend troubles.

      So back to the car. I asked Lizzie if Todd was going to be there. Todd is Zoe’s ex who caused her all sorts of problems and drove her to a self-imposed exile in her extraordinarily over-made-up bed (she’s way into fancy linens) for about two weeks. This was just a year after college, when we were closer, and I’ve still never heard a story so fucked up as what she got into after that.

      Lizzie pulled over and double-parked in front of Tommy’s and called him to come downstairs. Two minutes later he came out of the front of his building and she looked at me and was like, “Imagine that: someone being ready when they’re supposed to be, someone equally as afflicted with dick addiction too. I guess there are miracles in the world.”

      “Point taken,” I said, hoping this last exchange would put the issue to bed.

      So after some extensive finagling and maneuvering we got all of our collective shit, and Tommy, into the car. Lizzie pulled away from the curb and Tommy said, “Why were you late?”

      Perfect, I thought.

      Lizzie just looked at me and smirked and turned up the music. “Tell him,” she said. “I’m sure I’ll have to live through the details at some point this weekend; might as well get them over with now.”

      So I told Tommy the story, the abridged version, but with a few couldn’t-leave-out details thrown in, like the sneakers, and I started to get horny again. It was like I was writing it for my blog; I so often get horny reliving the situations and then have to beat off afterward. So I adjusted my cock and tried to finish the story quickly.

      As soon as I did, Tommy wanted to go tit for tat and tell us about his experience with The Grifters. Not the old movie—these two guys he met at The Cock, a popular New York City bar we hang out in sometimes. I had heard a very brief synopsis but I was at work at the time and never got a chance to catch the whole story.

      Before he could start Lizzie was like, “Can we just pause on the gay sex for like a minute?”

      “Why would we do that?” Tommy asked, totally seriously.

      “Because there are other things in life.”

      “Like what?”

      “We never talk about pussy, for example.”

      “And why would we talk about that?” Tommy asked. Then mischievously he added, “Did you get some?”

      For whatever reason Tommy and I always talk about sex. I mean, we talk about other stuff too, but I think that we talk more about sex than about anything else. So it was no surprise when Lizzie started groaning that she’d had enough gay sex talk after my detail of The Rich Kid afternoon. I can understand why Lizzie thought the conversation was getting a little gay-sex heavy, but I wanted the details. And I knew, despite her feeble protests, that she did too.

      She laughed, said no, called Tommy an asshole, and then asked why we never want to hear about her adventures. “I could start a blog too,” she said. “The Great Cunt Hunt, I could call it. It could be about all the men yearning for a shot at my pussy.”

      Tommy yawned elaborately and then was like, “I’m sure Alex would read it. He’s all about the straight guys. Me, I snooze during the snatch talk.”

      “You’re such a fag,” Lizzie said. Then, resigned, like the martyr she loves to pretend to be, she said, “Go ahead. Tell us about The Grifters.”

      All excited, Tommy jumped forward in the backseat so his head was between ours and he told us how he was minding his own business, having a drink and checking out the dudes at the club, when this cute, tall guy on the skinny side came up to him and offered to buy him a drink. The drink Tommy was already holding was full so he looked at it and told the guy sure, if he wanted to wait around for a few minutes. He was telling us the story like he couldn’t have cared less, but knowing him, I’m sure he turned on the flirt big time when he delivered the “want to wait around” line.

      The guy waited around. He told Tommy his name was David and he had a firm, hard handshake that turned Tommy on. They bullshitted for a little about what they did and where they lived and where they liked to hang out and all that crap and then the guy moved pretty quickly onto sex. It was already close to midnight so Tommy figured that the guy wanted to lock up his chances or move on. Tommy was into his program and was thinking he’d let himself be “locked up,” so to speak.

      The guy asked Tommy if he got into anything wild, which is kind of like asking the Pope if he prays. Tommy asked him to define wild and he said he liked to get into some light bondage and master/slave shit sometimes. Tommy said that was cool and asked the guy—even though he knew the answer from how forward the guy was trying to be—if he was into being the master or the slave. The guy said master right away and smiled at Tommy, telling him the things he’d do when he had him chained into a sling with his asshole gaping open and hungry. Tommy was getting turned on by the talk, and said he considered letting the guy top him, but that he really wasn’t into a whole chained-to-a-sling thing. So he told the guy it sounded hot but that it wasn’t what he wanted to get into. The guy looked disappointed.

      “Of course,” Tommy said to the guy, “if you want to climb into the sling and spread your legs, I might be persuaded to poke around and give you a good time.”

      The guy, David, smirked in response and ordered another round of drinks. Tommy was looking him over and trying to imagine him naked. He was tall and trim and Tommy figured he could go either way: he could be that kind of skinny that isn’t muscle, just skinny, or he could be toned to the max, which is what Tommy was hoping. The guy had a pretty good ass and Tommy massaged a cheek while the guy bent over the bar to get the bartender’s attention. His ass felt solid.

      So they were on their next set of drinks and standing closer together and the guy pinched Tommy’s nipple through his T-shirt (which I’m sure was Baby Gap tight). The guy said he wanted to drop to his knees right there in the bar and to haul Tommy’s cock out of his pants and swallow it. He reached for Tommy’s cock and rubbed his crotch through his jeans. Tommy flexed his boner and the guy grinned and was like, “You sure you don’t want to hang in my sling?”

      Tommy said he reached around and slapped the guy’s ass and said, “I’m sure, big guy.” I could just imagine the scene: two guys in the mood to be tops doing the who’s-going-to-bottom dance. It’s funny because most people complain that everyone’s a bottom and that it’s hard to find good tops, but Tommy always seems to run into other tops when he wants to top but can never find a hot top when he’s itching to get fucked. Whatever, if life was easy there’d be no interesting stories to tell.

      At this point I interrupted with skepticism and said: “So, like, Mr. Master Top wanted to drop to his knees?”

      “Exactly,” Tommy said with an eyebrow arched in suspicion.

      Anyway, Tommy continued. So he and David decided they were into each other and that they wanted to fuck around and they decided to recruit a bottom who’d let them both fuck him. They scanned the crowd and Tommy suggested this blond, muscled, Chelsea number who he’d been eyeing all night. David turned him down, said he was too pretty, and said they should still look. They both agreed that this other tall guy, a beefy redhead, seemed pretty hot and they called him over to chat. After less than a minute of pleasantries David was like, “Into a three-way? We’re looking for a bottom to take us on.”

      The guy was kind of taken aback for a second. Tommy was too; he’s all into being forward, but even he thought it was a little much to be like, “Hi-how-are-you-want-to-bottom-for-us?” The redhead didn’t immediately say no; he blushed and they talked for a little longer. Tommy actually liked the guy and he was into the dude’s massive

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