LITMIR.BIZ

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      Say What?

      “You can be as good as the best of them but as bad as the worst/so don’t test me.

      You better move over.”

      —NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

      Since Mama’s leaving for the evening, I’ll take the opportunity to study the spirit book for a while. Making my way out of the kitchen and through the back yard, I notice Lexi, Mama’s dog, following me to the backhouse. She takes her guardian job way too seriously, if you ask me. I open the screen door and lock it behind me lest anyone decide to surprise me back here, which I doubt. The boys rarely go any farther than the garage attached to the front of the small house. They don’t know exactly what we do back here, nor do they want to.

      “Finally, some alone time in the spirit room,” I say to Lexi, who looks uninterested in my enthusiasm. I wish I could read her mind, but unfortunately my newfound sight doesn’t work on dogs. I have a couple of hours before Jeremy meets me back at my mom’s and I want to get as much work done as I can. Before I can get into my studying, my phone vibrates with another call from Rah. Now what?

      “Hey, girl,” Rah says groggily through my cell. When I left his house Friday night, he and Sandy were still going hard. I’ve got too much work to do today to be his shoulder, and need to make this call quick if I want to take full advantage of my alone time.

      “What’s up, Rah? I’m at Mama’s,” I say while turning from the page that Mama left open for me to study and search for my own shit. I’ll take the bath as prescribed and do some of my assignment, but tonight it’s all about my personal agenda.

      “Can you come over on your way home? I have a little something for you I meant to give you Friday.” He can’t be serious. There’s no way in hell I’m stepping back into his house as long as Sandy’s Amazonian ass is there. “Sandy’s gone to her grandparents’ house for the weekend.” Rah’s no mind reader, but he hit that one on the head. I thought he told his baby-mama to move out, but I don’t have time to get the full story.

      “It’ll have to be quick because I already have plans for the evening,” I say, glancing at the wall clock and down at the work in front of me. It’s going to take me at least a couple of hours to finish up here and I told Jeremy I’d be back at my mom’s in Inglewood by nine, which means I’ll have to leave here and get to Rah’s by eight to make it back on time.

      “Cool. See you later,” Rah says. I hang up my cell and focus on the task at hand. I don’t know why I keep bending to Rah’s will, but I’m getting stronger in more ways than one. Besides, a gift is a gift and who am I to say no? A true friend forgives, and I have no problem with that. And as long as Rah doesn’t mistake my kindness for weakness—again—it’s all good.

      It was nice working alone on my spirit work and it was just the peace I needed to get my mind right for the week ahead. I’m working extra hard to get Mama the stove she so deserves for Mother’s Day and to make up for all the work I missed studying for my Advanced Placement exams last week. Luckily, summer’s around the corner, and with both my main job at Netta’s beauty shop and my side hustle doing hair at my mom’s place, my cheddar should be well stacked in a few months.

      It took me longer than normal to get back to the west side of town because of the Sunday cruisers out enjoying the beautiful evening. Maybe Jeremy and I can take a ride down the coast tonight if he’s not too tired from surfing all day. Jeremy takes his chosen sport very seriously and with his competition coming up, he’s been pushing harder than ever to be on top of his game.

      I’ve been at Rah’s house for all of ten minutes and already his cell phone is working my nerves. He’s been in his room talking since I arrived, and I’m ready to go. If I leave now I could take a shower and relax before Jeremy arrives, not that he cares much how I look these days. We just like being together, morning breath, stank asses and all.

      “Rah, I’m out,” I shout from my stance in the living room and head toward the front door. The days of waiting for Rah’s undivided attention are a thing of the past.

      “Oh no, you don’t,” he says, jogging into the foyer with a small gold box in hand. He hangs up his cell and hands me my belated gift. Finally. My birthday was weeks ago, but just because it’s late doesn’t mean I won’t accept it. I look up at my boy and smile, opening the box. Rah always gives thoughtful gifts.

      “Oh, Rah, it’s beautiful,” I say, pulling out the gold ankh charm hanging from a matching chain. He’s never bought me something so extravagant before. This bling must’ve set him back at least a bill or two. With my gold “Lady J” bangle from Jeremy, I’m starting myself a nice little collection of boyfriend jewelry, even if Rah is technically my ex. Mickey’s the one with the jewelry box full of shiny things from all of her conquests, but my two pieces are nothing to laugh at.

      “I know your birthday passed and I acted like a jackass, but I still wanted to give you your gift,” he says, taking the heavy necklace from my hands and walking behind me. “Let me help you put it on.” I move my freshly pressed hair from my left shoulder to my right and hold it up slightly so he can see what he’s doing. After securing the cold metal around my neck, Rah bends down and gently kisses me. He knows my neck is extra sensitive, especially in the groove between my ear and shoulder on either side.

      “Rah, I’ve got a man, in case you forgot,” I say, trying to resist his soft lips, but he ignores my reminder and keeps kissing, now almost sucking my skin. If he doesn’t stop soon I’m going to have a hickey on my neck the size of Long Beach to explain to Mama and everyone else with eyes, including Jeremy.

      “Do you really want me to stop?” Rah asks, moving his hips from side to side and me right along with him. Damn, he feels good; too good. His phone vibrates in his jean pocket and just in time, too. I almost got caught up in the rapture with this brotha and that is the wrong direction to go in.

      “I’ve got to get this. Don’t move,” Rah says, stepping into the living room and leaving me shell-shocked in the foyer. I should really get going, but before I can make my escape I hear something in the back of the house. As Rah continues his conversation in the living room, Sandy walks into the kitchen through the studio door with Rahima on her hip. Why didn’t she come in through the front door like she normally would? I don’t care enough to ask, nor do I want to stick around for the show.

      “I saw you two making out through the window,” Sandy says—no hi or hello. Where are her manners? “Are you going to stand there and tell me that you didn’t give up the panties yet?” Sandy asks, throwing her cell phone down on the counter. Rahima looks frightened but stays glued to her mother’s side. Sandy has little regard for her young daughter.

      “Well, hello to you, too,” I say, waving at my girl, who waves back in her cute two-year-old way. It looks more like snatching than waving, but I’ll take what I can get.

      “Please, Jayd, y’all can cut the act. There’s only one reason a nigga would deny all of this when it’s right here in front of his face, and that’s if he’s getting ass from someone else.” Sandy takes a pot out of the cabinet under the stove and walks over to the sink, filling it with water like she’s about to cook, but we both know that’s not what she’s doing.

      “Say what?” I ask, completely offended by her accusation, and so is Rah, who finally walks into the kitchen to deal with his irrational baby-mama. This is my final cue to roll.

      “Sandy, you’re talking like you’re crazy. Did you take your meds today?” Rah asks, but there’s nothing funny about Sandy’s behavior. Rah reaches for his daughter, but as usual Sandy’s holding her hostage to make her point. I can’t be a party to this drama any more than I already am. And I’m pissed that someone witnessed my moment of infidelity. Even if I didn’t initiate the neck kiss, I also didn’t do anything to stop it. How am I going to explain this one to Jeremy, not to mention the new gold hanging from my neck?

      “Don’t play with me, fool. I know what I saw.” Sandy’s eyes are more evil than

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