LITMIR.BIZ

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You’re only seventeen.” I keep sifting and throwing things I’m taking with me into one bag while piling everything else onto the floor to discard later.

      “Mama, Jayd’s doing it again.” I hear Bryan yelling outside of my dream, but I can’t stop it. I can also hear Daddy and my other uncles grumbling about losing sleep, but they’re not the only ones. Do they think I want to be walking around the house this time of night and completely out of control?

      “Bryan, go get a glass of water. Jay, help me follow your cousin.” Mama’s voice sounds weak and terrified. Whatever’s going on is scaring Mama and that alone is enough to terrify me.

      “I’ll be eighteen in three months and then I’m getting married, so I can just move in with Carter now.” I’ve never heard my mother call my father by his first name before. I almost forgot he had one.

      “If you move in with Carter, Lynn Marie, it’ll be the death of you.” Maman’s words are so strong they resonate through my mother’s head like bells in a chapel: loud and clear.

      “I’m sick of you and this house and your curses. It’s over,” I shout, stuffing as much shit as I can into two new garbage bags and passing Maman by in the hallway. I notice my uncles in the living room watching the scene. I see a young Bryan sitting next to the lit Christmas tree, crying at the sight of his mother and favorite sister arguing for what I’m sure is the hundredth time. Damn, another holiday gone bad. Why do we even celebrate them when we know there’s bound to be some drama?

      “Omi tutu, ona tutu, ile tutu, tutu Laroye,” I hear Mama chanting as she sprinkles cold water on my head. Even though I can hear her and feel her, I still can’t snap out of it. I follow the path of my mother through the living room, ready to head out of the front door to God only knows where.

      “Man, it’s too early in the morning for this. Why can’t she have a breakdown during the day when we’re all awake?” Jay asks.

      “Jay, shut up your whining and stand behind your cousin just in case she falls back. Bryan, you walk in front of her and don’t let her hurt herself.” Mama continues praying in Yoruba and I unwillingly continue my sleepwalking through the past.

      “Lynn Marie, I’m warning you. Turn back around before you get hurt.” Maman’s shrill voices shocks me and my mom both, but my mom continues to move toward the front door. “If you walk out that door I can’t help you, Lynn Marie. My hands are tied.” I look back at Maman, my uncles, and the house before opening the front door with my bags in tow.

      “I’ll take my chances,” I say. Before I exit onto the front porch, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the glass door and see my mother’s green eyes staring back at me. They’re glowing like Mama’s and Maman’s do in my visions. I guess with the powers comes the glow, because although my mother’s eyes are pretty, they don’t shine like this anymore. I smile at the reflection and can feel my mother’s long hair sweep across my back. I walk outside and begin to descend the front porch, but not before Esmeralda has a chance to rear her ugly head. She looks younger, but with the same cold, blue eyes, which catch my mother completely off guard.

      “Lynn Marie!” Maman yells, but it’s too late. My head starts to throb as Esmeralda locks onto my eyes with hers. The pounding in my head is getting louder and louder, drowning out whatever Maman’s saying in the background. I can feel hands pulling me back into the house but I can’t tell if they’re Maman’s or Mama’s. This feels too real for me.

      “You evil bitch,” my mom says telepathically to Esmeralda, who hears her loud and clear.

      “You haven’t seen evil yet,” Esmeralda says, not letting go of her visual hold over my mother for a second. They continue their mental tug-of-war for what seems like an eternity before my mother finally starts to lose the infamous battle I’ve heard about all of my life.

      “Mama, help,” my mother whines. Maman looks down at me, her green eyes glowing, not from her powers but from the tears she’s shedding.

      “I can’t, baby, I can’t. You’ve been cursed, and when you disobeyed me, you locked it in. I’m so sorry, my daughter,” she says. I can feel her staring into my eyes, searching for some recognition of my mother’s powers, I assume. But like Esmeralda, they’re gone.

      “Mama, what happened? I can’t see anything!” I scream. It’s like someone turned out the lights and everywhere I look there’s only darkness.

      “Oh, baby girl, why didn’t you listen to me? She took your sight,” Mama cries, holding my head in her lap. Esmeralda overpowered my mom to the point that I’m lying on the front porch and didn’t even realize it. “I can’t hear you in my mind anymore. Why aren’t you talking to me?”

      “Oh girl, it’s over. She took your powers right out of your eyes. Your sight will come back eventually, but your powers are gone forever.”

      So that’s how my mom lost her powers. Wicked.

      “Jayd, snap out of it.” I can hear Mama but it’s Maman’s voice that I’m following. “Jayd, now!”

      And with that final command, Mama pours the entire glass of cold water over my head, forcing me to wake up. We’re seated on the front porch, just like we were in my vision. I try to look around but everything’s dark.

      “I can’t see,” I say, wiping the water out of my eyes. But it’s no use. Everything’s still black, and I know I’m not dreaming anymore. Oh shit, this can’t be good.

      “Damn, that’s rough,” Jay says, expressing my sentiments exactly, but without any sympathy.

      “I’m glad I’m not a Williams woman,” Bryan says. I wish I could see the smirk on his face so I could slap it off. Whenever Mama and I celebrate the women in our lineage, all the men in the household hate on us. Even if they would never wish anything serious on us, seeing me and Mama suffer must be the best dessert for them all.

      “Shut up, both of you. Bryan, help me get Jayd back in the house. Jay, go get her a towel to dry off.” Mama grabs my right arm and Bryan my left. They lead me back into the house and to my bed. The early morning cold has once again gone straight through my thin gown and straight into my bones, but I could care less about that. I want to know how long I’m going to play the part of Ray Charles in my mother’s life story.

      “Mama, what happened? Why can’t I see anything?”

      “Well, you stayed in your mother’s past for too long and brought some of it back with you. That’s why you have to learn to control your dreams, baby. Otherwise, they will get the best of you. You can’t keep sleepwalking like this, child.” Who’s she telling? This shit is wearing a sister down, and I can’t afford to lose any more sleep. It’s killing my energy, and that’s draining my wallet and my social time.

      “What time is it, anyway? I’ve got to get up soon to get to school. You think this will wear off by then?” Not that I’m in any rush to get to South Bay High, but the day’s going to start whether I can see it or not.

      “Obviously you can’t go to school like this. You’ll have to stay home until it wears off. Here, take your medicine and go back to sleep.”

      “I don’t want to go back to sleep, Mama. Every time I do I either wake up walking around as someone else or I feel like I haven’t slept at all, which is worse.” Ignoring my protest, Mama hands me a cup of water to accompany the pills she places in my other hand. I smell the nasty things and curl up my nose. “I thought these were supposed to make me better? What kind of help is it if I go blind in the process?”

      “You have to have more faith and patience in your process than that, Jayd. It’s not magic, I keep trying to tell you, girl. Now, drink up and get some sleep.” I don’t see how, with Tre’s memorial service tomorrow afternoon. But at least I’ll miss school, which is always a plus.

      3

      Pour Out a Little Liquor

      “Pour

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