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Kali said, sitting up and pulling him to the floor, “let’s get you cleaned up.” Kali pulled off his diaper. It was soaked through. She would have to change his bed sheets again. She cleaned him up and inserted the catheter tube. The tip of his small penis was red and irritated. Kali put Vaseline on it to soothe it, even though he couldn’t feel it.

      Marko was oblivious. Not just because he couldn’t feel anything down there, but also because he wasn’t aware of the stigma. As a paraplegic, dealing with urine leaks was as routine and uneventful as visiting the toilet is for non-paraplegics. It simply didn’t bother him. It bothered Kali though. At school, his diaper sometimes showed, sticking up over the waist of his jeans. Kali felt embarrassed for him because the other kids could see, and she’d seen them looking.

      When his bladder was completely emptied, Kali withdrew the catheter tube and cleaned it.

      “Feel better?” she asked, putting a fresh diaper on.

      “Yes, thanks,” he said, and Kali felt bad. Because he didn’t feel better. Of course he didn’t—he couldn’t feel a thing, not the tube, not the irritation, not the urge to pee. It was Kali who felt better, knowing that his bladder was empty and that he would be okay for at least four hours.

      Although many kids with spina bifida could feel when they had to pee, which allowed most of them to actually use the toilet, at least some of the time, Marko could not. Kali used the toilet for Marko only when he had to poop. She would sit him on it and jiggle him around some until a few nuggets come out. Lately he had been so constipated, though, that the pressure built up in his intestines was pressing on his bladder and causing him to leak a lot between catheterizations.

      “Mom, do you know why my skin starts to look so wrinkly when we’re in the water too long?”

      “I don’t actually know.”

      “Because the oil in our skin that makes it waterproof, called sebum, seeee-bum, gets all washed off. Then, the water soaks into the top layer of the skin and makes it soggy.”

      “How do you know so much?”

      “I look stuff up.”

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