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knew little or nothing of homosexuals, or ‘queers’, except that somehow they were all confined to the acting profession. Legend had it that one of the great stage actors of the day was ‘one of those’ but that was the subject done and dusted. We were too busy trying to figure out the workings of our own bodies to bother about anybody else’s.

      Talking of blow jobs … Half a century later, one of my dearest of all dear friends, a staunch Catholic, also convent educated and married at 20, but whom I suspect had never had an orgasm in her life and only knew about the missionary position, latched onto the term ‘blow job’. She went around gaily declaring, ‘What he needs is a good blow job’, or ‘Time for him to have a blow job.’

      I found out later that she thought it all had to do with a hairdryer.

      I’ve never forgotten the look on her face when I explained in as chaste terms as possible what a blow job entailed.

      ‘Are you sure?’ she asked in horror.

      Needless to say she never used the term again.

      I remember first reading Ideal Marriage one sunny morning as the bells of Oxford rang out all around me sitting in my B&B waiting for Malcolm to collect me for a day’s punting on the river. I was very puzzled by the diagrams and when I got to the bit where Van de Velde described a kiss as ‘an irregular intermittent pneumatic massage’ I gave up.

      Practice makes perfect and now, a lifetime of sexual experience later, I’m almost tempted to find an old copy. As late as 2004 a marriage counsellor and sex guru was writing about it in Nature Review: ‘This is not a prude’s book. Young couples who grab a used copy off the Internet may have even as much fun with it as their great-grandparents did.’

      Mmm. I think the sort of sex knowledge young people have today would certainly ease their passage through the book.

      I never made it past the clitoris. But I have more than made up for that since.

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