LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

well, you know what I mean,” he laughed with me, though his face at once turned earnest again, “and all that, and all that, and all that…. And so this savagery that has burned in me all these years unexplained, these Russian strangers made clear. I can’t tell you how because I don’t know myself. the father did it—his proximity, his silence stuffed with sympathy, his great vital personality unclipped by contact with these little folk who left him alone. His presence alone made me long for the earth and Nature. He seemed a living part of it all. He was magnificent and enormous, but the devil take me if I know how.”

      “He said nothing—that referred to it directly?”

      “Nothing but what I’ve told you,—blundering awkwardly with those few modern words. But he had it in him a thousand to my one. He made me feel I was right and natural, untrue to myself to suppress it and a coward to fear it. the speech-center in the brain, you know, is anyhow a comparatively recent thing in evolution. They say that—”

      “It wasn’t his century either,” I checked him again.

      “No, and he didn’t pretend it was, as I’ve tried to,” he cried, sitting bolt upright beside me. “The fellow was genuine, never dreamed of compromise. D’ye see what I mean? Only somehow he’d found out where his world and century were, and was off to take possession. And that’s what caught me. I felt it by some instinct in me stronger than all else; only we couldn’t talk about it definitely because—because—I hardly know how to put it—for the same reason,” he added suddenly, “that I can’t talk about it to you now! There are no words…. What we both sought was a state that passed away before words came into use, and is therefore beyond intelligible description. No one spoke to them on the ship for the same reason, I felt sure, that no one spoke to them in the whole world—because no one could manage even the alphabet of their language.

      “And this was so strange and beautiful,” he went on, “that standing there beside him, in his splendid atmosphere, the currents of wind and sea reached me through him first, filtered by his spirit so that I assimilated them and they fed me, because he somehow stood in such close and direct relation to Nature. I slipped into my own region, made happy and alive, knowing at last what I wanted, though still unable to phrase it. This modern world I’ve so long tried to adjust myself to became a thing of pale remembrance and a dream….”

      “All in your mind and imagination, of course, this,” I ventured, seeing that his poetry was luring him beyond where I could follow.

      “Of course,” he answered without impatience, grown suddenly thoughtful, less excited again, “and that’s why it was true. No chance of clumsy senses deceiving one. It was direct vision. What is Reality, in the last resort,” he asked, “but the thing a man’s vision brings to him—to believe? There’s no other criterion. the criticism of opposite types of mind is merely a confession of their own limitations.”

      Being myself of the “opposite type of mind,” I naturally did not argue, but suffered myself to accept his half-truth for the whole—temporarily. I checked him from time to time merely lest he should go too fast for me to follow what seemed a very wonderful tale of faerie.

      “So this wild thing in me the world today has beggared and denied,” he went on, swept by his Celtic enthusiasm, “woke in its full strength. Calling to me like some flying spirit in a storm, it claimed me. the man’s being summoned me back to the earth and Nature, as it were, automatically. I understood that look on his face, that sign in his eyes. the ‘Isles of Greece’ furnished some faint clue, but as yet I knew no more—only that he and I were in the same region and that I meant to go with him and that he accepted me with delight that was joy. It drew me as empty space draws a giddy man to the precipice’s edge. Thoughts from another’s mind,” he added by way of explanation, turning round, “come far more completely to me when I stand in a man’s atmosphere, silent and receptive, than when by speech he tries to place them there. Ah! And that helps me to get at what I mean, perhaps. the man, you see, hardly thought; he felt.”

      “As an animal, you mean? Instinctively—?”

      “In a sense, yes,” he replied after a momentary hesitation. “Like some very early, very primitive form of life.”

      “With the best will in the world, Terence, I don’t quite follow you—”

      “I don’t quite follow myself,” he cried, “because I’m trying to lead and follow at the same time. You know that idea—I came across it somewhere—that in ancient peoples the senses were much less specialized than they are now; that perception came to them in general, massive sensations rather than divided up neatly into five channels:—that they felt all over so to speak, and that all the senses, as in an overdose of hashish, become one single sense? the centralizing of perception in the brain is a recent thing, and it might equally well have occurred in any other nervous headquarters of the body, say, the solar plexus; or, perhaps, never have been localized at all! In hysteria patients have been known to read with the finger-tips and smell with the heel. Touch is still all over; it’s only the other four that have got fixed in definite organs. There are systems of thought today that still would make the solar plexus the main center, and not the brain. the word ‘brain,’ you know, never once occurs in the ancient Scriptures of the world. You will not find it in the Bible—the reins, the heart, and so forth were what men felt with then. They felt all over—well,” he concluded abruptly, “I think this fellow was like that. D’ye see now?”

      I stared at him, greatly wondering. A nursemaid passed close, balancing a child in a spring-perambulator, saying in a foolish voice, “Wupsey up, wupsey down! Wupsey there!” O’Malley, in the full stream of his mood, waited impatiently till she had gone by. Then, rolling over on his side, he came closer, talking in a lowered tone. I think I never saw him so deeply stirred, nor understood, perhaps, so little of the extreme passion working in him. Yet it was incredible that he could have caught so much from mere interviews with a semi-articulate stranger, unless what he said was strictly true, and this Russian had positively touched latent fires in his soul by a kind of sympathetic magic.

      “You know,” he went on almost under his breath, “every man who thinks for himself and feels vividly finds he lives in a world of his own, apart, and believes that one day he’ll come across, either in a book or in a person, the Priest who shall make it clear to him. Well—I’d found mine, that’s all. I can’t prove it to you with a pair of scales or a butcher’s meat-axe, but it’s true.”

      “And you mean his mere presence conveyed all this without speech almost?”

      “Because there was no speech possible,” he replied, dropping his voice to a whisper and thrusting his face yet closer into mine. “We were solitary survivors of a world whose language was either uncreated or”—he italicized the word—“forgotten….”

      “An elaborate and detailed thought-transference, then?”

      “Why not?” he murmured. “It’s one of the commonest facts of daily life.”

      “And you had never fully realized it before, this loneliness and its possible explanation—that there might exist, I mean, a way of satisfying it—till you met this stranger?”

      He answered with deep earnestness. “Always, old man, always, but suffered under it atrociously because I’d never understood it. I had been afraid to face it. This man, a far bigger and less diluted example of it than myself, made it all clear and right and natural. We belonged to the same forgotten place and time. Under his lead and guidance I could find my own—return….”

      I whistled a long soft whistle, looking up into the sky. Then, sitting upright like himself, we stared hard at one another, straight in the eye. He was too grave, too serious to trifle with. It would have been unfair too. Besides, I loved to hear him. the way he reared such fabulous superstructures upon slight incidents, interpreting thus his complex being to himself, was uncommonly interesting. It was observing the creative imagination actually at work, and the process in a sense seemed sacred. Only the truth and actuality with which he clothed it all made me a little uncomfortable sometimes.

      “I’ll

Скачать книгу