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      Congreve's Comedy of Manners

      by Frank J. Morlock

      BORGO PRESS BOOKS BY FRANK J. MORLOCK

      Chuzzlewit

      Congreve’s Comedy of Manners

      Crime and Punishment

      Falstaff (with William Shakespeare, John Dennis, and William Kendrick)

      Fathers and Sons

      The Idiot

      Jurgen

      Justine

      Lord Jim

      Notes from the Underground

      Oblomov

      Outrageous Women: Lady Macbeth and Other French Plays (editor and translator)

      Peter and Alexis

      The Princess Casamassima

      A Raw Youth

      The Stendhal Hamlet Scenarios and Other Shakespearean Shorts from the French (editor and translator)

      COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

      Copyright © 1982, 2012 by Frank J. Morlock

      FIRST BORGO PRESS EDITION

      Published by Wildside Press LLC

      www.wildsidebooks.com

      DEDICATION

      For Carmen Martínez,

       who would make a great Angelica

      INTRODUCTION

      My intention in writing this play was to distill the essence of Congreve, to the extent of my ability, into one stage-worthy play. Congreve wrote four comedies, The Way of The World being his acknowledged masterpiece. Love for Love is less brilliant but easier to perform, though it seldom is. His earlier plays, The Old Bachelor and the Double Dealer, contain very good material but are rarely read let alone performed. Revival is unlikely. I had the idea of building a pastiche of all the comedies.

      My plan was to build on the general plot of Love for Love, and weave characters and dialogue from the other plays into and around it. In the process some characters are blended with other characters, and acquire clever dialogue found elsewhere. The result is, hopefully, a lively play that will keep Congreve’s best work before the public eye.

      But for a transitional phrase or two, almost every line in this play is Congreve’s. It stands to reason then, that whatever virtues it has are his, and whatever faults are mine. The play is not meant as an imitation or improvement of Congreve but rather a “good parts” version of his existing works.

      —Frank J. Morlock

      CAST OF CHARACTERS

      Men

      Foresight, an astrologer

      Sir Sampson Plyant, a crusty old man

      Valentine, his son, in love with Angelica

      Ben, his younger son, a naval officer

      Lord Froth, an exquisite gentleman

      Scandal, Valentine’s friend

      Maskwell, a villain, secretary to Foresight

      Tattle, a beau valued for his secrecy

      Women

      Lady Foresight, an adulterous wife in love with Valentine

      Angelica, a spirited and affected young woman, niece to Foresight

      Mrs. Frail, sister to Foresight, a woman of the town

      Prue, Foresight’s daughter by an earlier marriage

      Nurse

      Servant

      The drama is set in London, circa 1699.

      ACT I

      SCENE 1

      A room in Foresight’s house. The room is furnished with various astrological paraphernalia. Foresight, a fiftyish, pedantic man in a rather unstylish wig, enters and addresses an old servant woman.

      Foresight

      What, are all the women in my family abroad? Is not my wife come home? Nor my sister, nor my daughter?

      Servant

      No, sir.

      Foresight

      What can be the meaning of it? Sure the moon is in all her fortitudes. Is my niece Angelica at home?

      Servant

      Yes, sir.

      Foresight

      I believe you lie, madame.

      Servant

      Sir?

      Foresight

      I say you lie. It is impossible that anything should be as I would have it; for I was born when the Crab was ascendant and all my affairs go backward.

      Servant

      I can’t tell, indeed, sir.

      Foresight

      No, I know you can’t, madame. But I can tell, and foretell, too.

      Servant

      Ha, ha, ha.

      Foresight

      What’s the matter?

      Servant

      You have put on one stocking inside out.

      Foresight

      That may be a sign of very good luck. I have had several omens recently. I got out of bed backwards this morning—and without premeditation—pretty good that—but then a black cat crossed my path —bad that. Some bad, some good. (looking at his watch) Three o’clock. A very good hour for business.

      (Enter Angelica.)

      Angelica

      Is it not a good hour for pleasure too, Uncle Foresight? Pray lend me your coach, mine’s out of order.

      Foresight

      What, would you be gadding about, too? Sure all these females are mad today. An evil portent. I remember a prophecy—it bodes of cuckoldom.

      Angelica

      But Uncle Foresight, I can neither make you a cuckold by going out, nor secure you from it by staying at home.

      Foresight

      Not so. While one woman is left in the house, the prophecy is not in full force—

      Angelica

      But my inclinations are in force; I have a mind to go out. If you won’t lend me your coach, I’ll take a hackney. Cast a horoscope and see who is in conjunction with your wife. You know my Aunt is a little retrograde in her nature. I’m afraid you are not the lord of the ascendant. Ha, ha, ha.

      Foresight

      You are a very pert flirt.

      Angelica (stifling her laughter)

      Uncle, don’t be angry. If you are, I’ll swear you are a nuisance to the neighborhood with your false prophecies, miraculous dreams, and idle divinations.

      Foresight

      Why, you malapert—

      Angelica

      Will you lend me your coach? Or I’ll continue: Nay, I’ll declare how your prophesized popery was coming. Indeed, Uncle, I’ll indict you for a wizard.

      Foresight

      Was there ever such a provoking minx?

      Servant

      How she talks—

      Angelica

      Yes, and I can make oath of your unlawful

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