A Threefold Cord - Howard Goldenberg

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This is your ONLY warning.

       O.V.

      Snoth looked at Nystagmus. Nystagmus looked back at him. They both looked at Jennifer. No-one spoke for a few moments. They all remembered how big and black and scary and swoopy the caped person was.

      Finally Nystagmus said: “We went to the Bargain Shop. Snoth bought one of these for each of us.” He handed Jennifer an alarm and showed her how to work it. When she pressed the button, she was amazed. She said: ”That’s a pretty alarming alarm.”

      Snoth and Nystagmus smiled.

       (There are some things in this story I don’t get: how come the old lady outside the bargain shop had blue hair?

       What are eggplants? Eggs don’t grow on plants! And is the tall scary spooky person a human?

       And if “it” is human, is “it” a man or a lady?)

       Chapter Ten

      Atall person woke up very early in the morning while darkness was on the face of the earth. The person dressed in the dark. The child in the next bed woke too and stared hard at the adult, trying to learn the answer: is this a man or a lady? But the child – a little boy – could not see.

      The adult put on a jumper, long trousers, a cape, a large hat and dark glasses. During daytime the child could see his own reflection in the mirror lenses of the glasses. And he saw the cape and the hat and all the adult’s clothing; everything was black.

      The child knew the name of the adult: Dr Vandersluys. The child did not remember his parents. He was cared for by a couple called Kees and Cornelia. Cornelia travelled with the boy to Australia, but she was suddenly called back to Holland. She said there was a family emergency. She told the child: A man called Mike was riding his bike, fishing for pike near the dyke. He fell onto a spike. Before Cornelia left she asked the vet to care for Tiger the cat. “And one more thing, Dr Vandersluys: would you please look after Willem too. He and Tiger are a twofold cord: they can’t bear to be apart.”

      So Willem and Tiger stayed with the vet.

      And now Tiger was gone.

      Willem was lonely. He missed the cat. Although he liked Cornelia, his feelings were hurt when she left him with a stranger to go and care for Mike on the spike. While he was alone in the house of the strange doctor he wondered about his parents: What are they called? Where are they? Will they come and collect me one day? All he knew about his parents was that they had given him his name, Willem. Someone said it was the name of a famous king.

      Before Cornelia went away, Willem asked when she’d be back. She said she couldn’t say: a spiked biker can be a tricky thing.

      During the daylight hours Willem looked hard at Dr Vandersluys. He noticed how white the vet’s skin was. Willem listened too, trying to decide if it was a lady’s voice or a man’s. He couldn’t tell.

      Once he opened the bathroom door without knocking. He just opened and walked right in. There, right in front of him, Willem saw the naked skin of an adult’s thighs. The adult was seated on the toilet, with black trousers around the ankles. The adult’s thighs were a shiny white. The adult wore sunglasses inside the house.

      Willem was frightened. He cried out: “Oh! Oh, I am sorry!”

      He turned and ran and closed the door behind him.

      Willem hid in the garden and waited for his heart to stop knocking inside his chest. Would Dr Vandersluys be angry? Would Willem be punished?

      After a while, he calmed down. He thought again about the vet: Ladies sit on the toilet for everything; men and boys stand to do a wee. Everyone sits to do a poo. Which one was Dr Vandersluys doing? I don’t know – and I still don’t know what that person is.

      Suddenly Willem missed Cornelia, awfully. He cried, then stopped. I hope the vet is a lady. A lady would be kinder.

       (What has happened to Willem’s parents? Why has Cornelia left Willem alone in Australia? Do you believe her story about spiked Mike and the pike? It sounds fishy to me.)

       Chapter Eleven

      Snoth’s Saba sat at the breakfast table reading the newspaper. Something he read made him snort in surprise: “Golly, Snotho, listen to this!”

      Snoth put on his pretending to be interested face. He did this whenever there was news that made Saba snort. Usually Snoth was not very interested in Saba’s news – like in Europe where the money was no good, or in the Middle East where no-one was much good, or in Africa where nothing was any good.

      Snoth sat and looked interested while Saba read aloud: “Famous Vet Warns of Deadly Germ. Dr Vandersluys, world famous Cat Doctor, has lost a cat from his hospital. The cat carries the deadly HPV germ (which stands for Human Poison Virus). The missing cat, named Tiger … “

      Suddenly Snoth was really interested.

      Saba read on: “… Tiger could poison every person he comes near. And every cat that Tiger meets can catch and spread the deadly disease. The doctor warns: “There is no cure for this virus.”

      Snoth stopped eating.

      Saba said: “Eat your stew, Snoth. Placenta is so healthy. Eat up every little bit.”

      Snoth ate his serve of placenta with polenta. Saba brought the meat home from the hospital and stewed it with garlic and rosemary and red wine. Usually Snoth loved this stew but today all he could think of were the words Tiger … Vandersluys … Warning.

      Snoth thought some more: Maybe that is what the person in the cape meant by the word WARNING. Perhaps the person in the cape, the witch in the night – or whatever – was trying to save us from danger! What if Tiger has given the germ to all the other cats in the cat shelter? Every cat will be in danger. And every person who touches them. This is a problem for the Threefold Cord!

       (Does anyone in this story have proper, normal parents? Only Jennifer seems to have a mother and a father in the story. Will we find out where Snoth’s parents are? And what about Nystagmus’ mum and dad? And what about little Willem? He seems to have no-one.

       Will we ever find out? Does it matter?

       And one more thing: Snoth carried the cat that has the deadly HPV germ. Does that mean Snoth will get sick and die?)

       Chapter Twelve

      Jennifer was frightened. Like the boys she was scared of the Deadly Disease of Cats and Humans. Like the boys she was terrified of the strange tall pale person. In the daytime Jennifer did not believe there could be such a thing as a witch or a witch doctor. The afternoon sun shone through the window of her room as she sat and thought.

      She had many thoughts.

       Why does that person wear dark glasses all the time?

       Does he or she want to scare people? Or the opposite – what if the person behind the sunnies is the scared one – perhaps that person is shy.

       Or embarrassed.

       Maybe that person has sore eyes?

       And that skin – so white, so very white. Is that normal?

       Maybe that person needs a cape and a hat and dark glasses to protect against sunburn …

       Maybe there are too many maybes!

       Maybe Google will know.

      

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