Single Wife Trapped Husband - Freda Milton

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thinking Stacey’s “what ifs” may be based on past experiences. Keep in mind part of the challenge is allowing each person a chance to redeem themselves each and every time there is an opportunity.

      The important factor is to always have a plan B should someone break an agreement. Some people believe incorporating a plan B demonstrates a total lack of trust. There is a saying, “if the shoe fits, wear it.” The reliable spouse needs to lovingly inform the irresponsible mate of the need to come up with an agreed upon plan B should any mishaps occur (intentionally or unintentionally). To be fair, both parties can implement plan B’s regardless of the decision maker as unexpected events can happen at any time.

      In the end, William and Stacy's relationship will either take a hit or triumph depending on the chosen approach. In either case, William must not constantly expect Stacy to let him win because she may begin to resent him. Likewise, Stacy must not consistently choose to let William win. Choosing to lose on a regular basis can make her feel unimportant. Stacy may begin to ask herself why William does not love her enough to do things her way sometimes. Feeling devalued will eventually impact the relationship. The key is to focus on the outcome instead of the winner. The following Values List can assist couples in the decision making process.

      Values Guide List: Review the list and mark the values which most resonate with you. Sort your list in order of priority. Compare your values with that of your partner. Also, completing the value list for one another is a good exercise to determine if you truly know one another.

      You may find most values have little or no significance to you, while others may seem negative to you. Keep in mind this list is a guide. It contains many synonyms and it is definitely not exhaustive. Please feel free to add unlisted values to your own list. You and your partner may need to make sure the words have the same meaning to each other in order to understand its significance in your relationship.

Optimism Leadership
Excellence Compassion
Cleanliness Commitment
Consistency Confidence
Trust Ambition
Courage Discipline
Education Family
Health Honor
Independence Intimacy
Power Wisdom
Respect Security
Sacrifice Structure

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