LITMIR.BIZ

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and the crucifixion. I felt like I was following him…observing from “now.” I could sense the immense burden and weight of the cross he was carrying.

      Finally, I entered the center of the labyrinth and began the process of visiting each petal. Today, it was the second petal that seemed to be the focus - Surrender. I took a moment to sense what Surrender felt like to me. “Giving up,” “allowing” and “letting go” came to mind. I then heard a question, “What’s the worst that can happen?” I felt myself smile. Just for a second, part of me had seen the humor. Why would I fight so hard to hold on to unhappiness, frustration and even anger? [the cross] Why wouldn’t I “surrender” this façade when I recognize the part it plays in keeping me trapped where I am?

      As I was sharing this “joke” with myself, Jesus popped into my consciousness again. In my mind’s eye, the center of the labyrinth was the color of a deep red garnet. (I read on-line that red garnet is a symbol of love, compassion, purity and truth.) I sensed a freeing…a letting go…a resurrection! I sat in the center for a few minutes just to take it all in…. As I left the center and began the walk out of the labyrinth, I felt a little stunned - but “lighter.”

      Later, it occurred to me that this labyrinth was embedded with a healing story. On some level, I had experienced a form of the crucifixion/resurrection, and in the process was gifted an understanding of the tremendous part Surrender plays in resurrection – the freeing or rebirth of who I really am.

      I still feel “shell-shocked” and I’m not even sure as to why. I will say I am awed by the “psyche-rumbling” initiated by the “drop-in questions” as well as the synergy I felt between the questions and the petals. The “real-time” visual today was a new experience. The power of the impact is increasing as I speak. Today’s journey into the labyrinth was an experience in which I know a lot has happened in a very short period of time. I also recognize that I probably won’t understand the depths of it for quite some time – if ever.

      In closing, I just want to say I am grateful for each and every one of you that has chosen to come along on this journey. Facing the “lions and tigers and bears” with a team is soooo much easier than by myself! I am indeed grateful.

      Tuesday, June 28, 2011

      Labyrinth #3: Mt. Shasta Lavender Farms – Montague, CA

      I woke up this morning still deeply affected by the “amethyst” labyrinth I experienced yesterday in Napa. Deep purple was still “up front and center” in my awareness. As synchronicity would have it, I received an e-mail from a friend last night asking if I knew of the labyrinth made of lavender near Mt. Shasta. I didn’t think too much about it in the moment (After all, Mt. Shasta is over 3 hours away from my house!) but today, I felt “called” to go.

      As I left Vacaville, I happened to be listening to music from Karen Drucker (CD: Songs of the Spirit 4 © TayToones Music BMI and www.karendrucker.com). The first song is “Morning Prayer: I Will Surrender.” (How perfect is that!) Though I have listened to this CD a couple of times, I’m not consciously familiar with the words of the songs. So when I heard,

      “I will surrender to my greatest highest good...I will release any fear that blocks my way…For every step I take…is taken in pure faith… and I am stronger every moment everyday….My mind is willing and my heart is open wide…I trust my instincts and let Spirit be my guide...I vow to live the life that’s real and pure and free…as I continue walking in this mystery,”

      the tears - in absolute recognition of the synchronicity and the signs of support I was receiving - were streaming down my face.

      As Nature would have it, it sprinkled, showered and poured all the way to Mt. Shasta City! I giggled several times as I questioned my sanity! I smiled in recognition when I recalled the previous 2 days and the focus words – Faith and Surrender. (Aha - a little pop quiz!) So…instead of turning around, I turned up the volume on the Karen Drucker CD!

      As I said, it rained all the way to Mt. Shasta City. However, Mt. Shasta Lavender Farms is on the backside of Mt. Shasta – it wasn’t raining there! You have to drive up (it’s a climb) a reddish gravel road which meanders through the pines, rocks and boulders in order to get to the farm. You finally emerge onto a little plateau overlooking a beautiful valley…and Mt. Shasta. The Mountain was shrouded but I could feel it anyway! Wow! There is nothing like Mt. Shasta!

      I walked into the little shop and was greeted by a beautiful hostess. She gave suggestions about where to look and pointed out the labyrinth. (The shop itself is like a lavender spa! The scent of lavender sent me into a state of bliss – my [internal] hedonist was in heaven!) I walked toward the labyrinth and was immediately drawn to its grace and beauty. I ended up walking the path twice. I had brought two crystals with me – an exquisite amethyst slightly larger than a Sony Walkman and a white crystal of similar length. Initially, I felt that I should walk the path holding the crystals but ignored this feeling because of the people around. After the first “round,” I went back to the car, retrieved the crystals and walked the path. The difference for me was extremely noticeable. The labyrinth “lit up.”

      When I entered the center of the labyrinth, I spent a little time in each petal (though not outlined in this labyrinth) but focused on the 3^rd petal – Service. Faith…Surrender….Service. Have Faith to take the step; Surrender the “weapons,” the “protections,” the façade…stand “naked” without cover/armor before “God” and in this world; Be in Service… It took me several moments to get beyond my “head” which was stuck on “servant” and what “servant” looks like in this world – not appealing. I asked myself again, “What does it mean to be in Service?” Suddenly, there was recognition that the “nakedness” of Surrender was equivalent with the revealing of my core Essence – the true authentic divine being that is “me.” By surrendering to this Essence, I am naturally in Service to the Divine because there is nothing left but the divine me! When I am in alignment with my core Essence, I am in Service! In that moment, I made a vow to the Essence of who I am to align to the best of my abilities in each moment – hearing, sensing, feeling and recognizing the façade - but remaining true to my divine Essence which is of God.

      Interestingly enough, I felt sprinkles of rain when I entered the labyrinth but when I stood in the center the sun broke through directly above me. I felt divine love and acceptance. As I walked back toward the entry, I experienced the lush beauty and grace of this lavender-lined, divine pathway. I wrote “Beauty…Grace…Lavender…Service” and felt myself “light-up.” Recognition birthed at some level…

      I am now home integrating these energies and getting a deeper understanding of what these insights truly mean. I sense the truth in the statement, “Ignorance is bliss.” Once you experience something at a higher level and your awareness is piqued, you can’t go back to the “bliss of ignorance.” It’s impossible. Though the vow I made wasn’t really necessary, it seems to have created a “non-resistant” bond between myself and my divine Essence. This is something I truly desire.

      Thursday, June 30, 2011

      Labyrinth #4: United Methodist Church – Davis, CA

      This morning I visited the labyrinth located on the grounds of the UMC in Davis. It was an interesting experience to say the least. There were 4 to 6 “volunteers” moving materials into one of the church buildings. One came up to me and asked if she could be of assistance. I shared what I was doing and she inquired whether I knew of the other labyrinths in Davis – like the labyrinth at St. Martin’s? (Interestingly enough, she is a member of the congregation at St. Martin’s and was just helping out at the UMC.) I shared about the lavender labyrinth outside of Mt. Shasta and she told me about a new labyrinth in Auburn on the grounds of The Mercy Center. (I will be going there sometime this week!) She then left me alone to have my experience.

      As soon as I began my “ritual” to enter the labyrinth, a couple of other volunteers decided to pull up chairs and have a conversation. I found it “attention-grabbing” that the topic of the conversation was gay marriage and gays/lesbians in general.

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