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Bottle of Amaretto

      3 Bottles of White Wine

      2 Bottles of Red Wine

      2 Bottles of Grey Goose Vodka

      3 Bottles of Chivas Regal Scotch Whiskey

      2 Bottles of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum

      2 Bottles of Bacardi Rum

      2 Bottles of Jack Daniels (Black Label)

      1 Bottle of Tanqueray Gin

      2 Bottles of Maker’s Mark Whiskey

      1 Bottle of Crown Royal

      1 Bottle of Jim Beam

      2 Bottles of Long Island Ice Tea

      1 Bottle of Jagermeister

      1 Bottle of Brandy

      6 Cases of Bud Light Beer

      3 Cases of Corona Premium Beer

      1 Case of Keystone Light (or equivalent)

      And Last But Not Least...... DON’T FORGET THE ICE!

      Oh by the way, one last note: With normal use, the liquor and mixers listed here should last 3 - 4 weeks, depending on your level of stress. The bar tools and glassware should last a little longer. And good luck with this drinking thing. I hope it works out for you. Cheers!

      And remember, It’s always 5 o'clock somewhere!

       "The Art of Gathering"

      We have beautiful hardwood floors in our kitchen. The downside is that the floor has a dark stain and it has V-grooves between the planks. Once again; a beautiful floor, but it’s kind of a maintenance nightmare. Furthermore, every crumb shows up and screams out "look at me, look at me!” I hate that. I am constantly getting down on the floor to pick up the crumbs, Constantly. I hate that too! As odd as it might seem, after food preparation and serving meals, the crumb situation only gets worse. Why is that?

      You would think that wiping off the countertops or table is a no-brainer kind of task - but not so fast - my friend, - think again. When done improperly, someone wiping carelessly, back and forth, in an attempt to clean the counter, while all the time thinking they’re doing a good job are mistaking, and making things worse. They are only flinging crumbs and more crumbs onto the floor that already has too many crumbs, just adding to my pain.

      Cleaning and wiping the countertop is actually a two part process - the first and most important part is "The Gathering". One simply starts with a clean damp cloth and begins the process at the corner of the counter and moves methodically along the edge to the other corner, then making the equivalent of a U - turn, and continuing in a forward and backward motion, all the time "gathering", making certain to cover every square inch of the countertop. When the "gathering" has been completed, one pulls the cloth to the edge and carefully removes the cloth full of crumbs into ones hand and then proceeds to the sink to rinse out the cloth. Repeat this process, carefully “gathering” in the opposite direction. Rinse out the cloth again.

      Now, part two. When all the crumbs have been "gathered", the anxious wiper can then wipe the countertop furiously, in any direction, back and forth to their hearts content, shining and polishing the countertop, knowing for certain that no crumb flinging will occur. I like that.

      You should try this at home. It may take a little practice, but you can do it. Remember, a clean floor is a happy floor. I like that too!

       "The Shopping List"

      Every Wednesday Jill anxiously awaits the delivery of the U.S. Mail. We get tons of flyers and junk mail all the time, but on Wednesday, the much desired and sought after "shopper’s bible" or grocery store circulars arrive. Jill quickly looks through the stack of flyers, - Smith’s, Dan’s, Ream's, Albertson’s, Harmon’s - yep, they’re all here, she says with delight, or a sigh of relief. I’m not sure which. She places the flyers on the kitchen counter and throws away the rest of the junk mail, er, I mean puts them in the recycle bin. I don’t do much shopping, but looking through all the grocery store ads seems like a lot of work. Are two flyers enough? - is five too many? I don’t know, but Jill usually settles on her three favorite stores. She creates her weekly menus as she scours the ads, comparing prices, one store to another, always looking for the best deals. She makes notes on the flyers and always checks the flyers expiration dates. (There is nothing more embarrassing than telling the checker the price rang up wrong, only to be told that the low price you were expecting expired yesterday).

      Once Jill is satisfied with her findings, she proceeds to create "The Shopping List". She grabs her glasses and goes to the drawer and gets a small piece of paper, usually a blue or pink sticky note. I think this little paper thing is a time honored tradition, handed down from generation to generation. (I’m actually a yellow legal pad kind of guy myself, but she seems to like the sticky notes).

      She begins to write down the selected items, not in a simple list form, one item below another, but in a special way. She lists meats in the top left corner of the note, dairy in the bottom right, veggies and produce - dead center, canned goods, breads, household items and other things all have their own special place on the list. By the time she is done, she has pretty much run out of space on the sticky note, and ends up re-writing the list on a real piece of paper.

      Jill makes her shopping list on Wednesdays. Shopping days are Thursdays or Fridays, always preparing in advance for the ever popular weekend events, Saturday Sammies and Sunday Brunch. You know; good menus and good shopping only leads to good meals. How can I complain?

      If I had to do the shopping, I’d probably shop at the 7-11, a convenience store, I’m told. After all, isn’t shopping supposed to about convenience? Jill says that shopping at the "sev" is not a good idea.

      I don’t think I’ll ever understand her system, but it has worked for her for a really long time. Jill will always be the shopper in charge of shopping at The Compound.

       "Shopping Day"

      Every Thursday rolls around like clockwork - rain or shine - and Thursday around here is Shopping Day. Armed with the freshly prepared shopping list, Jill makes preparations for the big event. This may seem like a fairly simple undertaking, make list - go shopping - back home - done. What’s the big deal? But it is much more complex than one might imagine.

      First - you’ve got to decide on which store to shop at - (and I thought I was the only one to have to make hard decisions). Perhaps the corner market - while very convenient, this store may have only a few of the things on your list, but not everything. Or the Super Duper Grocery Mart; which will probably have most of the items on your list. This is the kind of store that Jill usually does her routine, weekly shopping. But if you’re feeling brave and adventuresome you can try the biggest, baddest mother of them all. Yep, you guessed it - Costco! This place, I hear will have everything on your list and then some. On this particular Thursday, Jill was feeling adventurous and decided to go to Costco. She asked me if I could break away from my busy schedule and accompany her to the store. She insisted that this might be fun, and as you know, I don’t shop much, but I decided to tag along with her.

      As we approached Costco, I was amazed by what I saw. The 100 acre parking lot should have been my first clue that this place was no ordinary, run of the mill supermarket. We eventually found a place to park, and after we had walked for 10 minutes or so, we finally arrived at the main entrance. (They should really think about a shuttle service). As we looked around for the usual shopping carts, (I prefer to call them "buggies"), I didn’t see any. They had something a little different. You get to choose between a shopping cart on steroids; or one that resembles a small flatbed truck. Jill chose the giant shopping buggy, and said "Hey, you

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