LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

Luke inhaled harshly. “Even the father thinks this way?”

      “Especially the father!”

      Luke whistled quietly. “And, the guy doesn’t want to marry you, sugar?”

      “No, he says a baby is too much responsibility. He thinks it would interfere too much with his plans.”

      “Seems he should have thought of that before—” Luke stopped abruptly. Since he was too nice a gentleman to voice his most honest thoughts, I supplied the coarse words for him.

      “Guess I should have thought about it, too. After all, even in this enlightened day and age, girls still get stuck with the toughest decisions.”

      He shrugged, his customary good-humored grin easing his taut features. “That’s all water under the bridge now, Kelli. Do you love him?”

      “I don’t know. I know I did once upon a time. But when he was so brutal about the baby and all—I just don’t know. Guess that really makes me a piece of trash, a real—”

      Luke’s hand stiffened on mine and he lifted my chin with an unsparing index finger. Intense sincerity warmed his plain features and deepened his voice. “What that makes you, Kelli, is an inquisitive, inexperienced seventeen-year-old girl who, unfortunately, confused love with desire and passion. You aren’t in an easy position, there are no definite answers, but it isn’t the end of the world, you know.”

      “Your optimism is admirable, Luke, but not very realistic to me right now.”

      He grunted, frowning in mock indignation. “On the contrary, Kelli. Optimism can always improve realism. I know your folks aren’t pleased, but what do they think about your condition?”

      I felt my hands begin to tremble at the mere thought of my parents. “Oh, they’re as bad as my boyfriend. They don’t want me to get married, either. They want me to get an abortion and forget about this terrible fiasco.”

      Luke cocked his head in pensive thought. “Makes sense, Kelli. Remember, your mom and dad are in shock just like you are. More importantly, however, you are their baby. They love you and are looking out for your best interests.”

      Up until that second, I’d never thought about that point before. What Luke had said was true. I was their baby, and they only wanted what was best for me—for all my brothers and sisters. Mom and Dad had invested their entire adult lives in raising us kids. They understood the consequences of my sexual conduct. They also recognized what lay ahead for my baby and me. Mom and Dad had known much more than me.

      Still, I wasn’t convinced, and couldn’t quite grasp the ramifications of it all. Then, once again, Luke startled me with another unexpected question.

      “And what do you want to do? What will make Kelli happy?” he asked solemnly. His relentless concern for my feelings, my wishes, got to me.

      Since I’d learned about my pregnancy, no one had even thought to ask me what I wanted, wondered what I thought best. And while they all believed in the “my body, my choice” scenario, they’d neglected to consult me. Not that it would have mattered any.

      “I don’t know, Luke. I really don’t know. It seems each way I turn, people are hammering me with accusations, telling me what I must do. My boyfriend has left me, my folks and I quarrel constantly—bitter, ugly, loudmouthed battles where no one listens to anyone. I’m continuously torn, always in an uproar. I come up with lots of questions, but not many answers. Between my throwing up and my emotional state, I can’t think straight anymore. I cry all the time, too. It’s as though I got pregnant and my brain went out the window alongside my virtue!”

      “Don’t run yourself down, Kelli. Yes, you made a mistake. But, aside from marrying a man who doesn’t love you or having an abortion before you’re ready, you do have other options.”

      “Yeah,” I lamented, whimpering my secret fear, “I can always kill myself. That’d put an end to everything and all my problems would instantly be solved!”

      Suddenly, I burst into tears and boohooed like a tiny baby myself. I covered my face and hung my head. I’d never felt so alone, so swallowed by despair.

      Visions of pill-popping unconsciousness, bloody razors, and fiery car crashes obliterated my common sense and brought a chilly, eerie peace to my pounding heart. They were half-baked schemes, yet nonetheless potent.

      But before anything could really take root or lodge too indelibly within my soul, powerful arms engulfed me; a steady, solid heartbeat pulsated beneath my tearstained cheek. “It’s okay, Kelli, everything will be all right. Don’t cry. I know your life has hit a horrifying glitch, but it isn’t that black, it isn’t that hopeless. Suicide is definitely not an option.”

      Luke’s soothing voice and gentle cradling surrounded me and somehow eased my heart.

      As Luke pulled me to his lap, rocked me and stroked my hair, I continued to sob, and mourn the burden of my impulsive sins. Somehow, despite the fact that we were barely acquaintances, unrelated and from two different worlds, I was comforted, and felt worthy of someone’s affectionate embrace. Luke dried my eyes. He gave me an encouraging wink.

      “What you need most, I think,” he contemplated out loud, “is a chance to think things through. Rationally, calmly—without outside interruptions. How far along are you, Kelli?”

      “The doctor says I’m six weeks.”

      “Then you still have time. You don’t have to do anything right this minute.”

      “No, but I’ll have to do something very soon.”

      Luke sat absently petting my hair, staring out the window. By the time my school-hour replacement had come in, Luke had reached a decision of his own.

      “Look, Kelli, I know that this will all sound kind of bizarre, but it’s the best I can do on short notice.” He grinned. “I want to help you. And I think I know a way to do that.”

      “That’s decent of you, Luke.” I laid a grateful hand on his arm. “But you aren’t the one in trouble—”

      “No, you are. And you’re my friend. Let me help you.”

      “Just like you help those stray animals? You’ve got such a soft heart.”

      “Most people would say I’ve got a soft head!” He laughed with his characteristic self-reproach, then added a serious, “I like you, Kelli. I like you a lot. I have since I started this route. And, just for the record, you aren’t a stray, just a mite lost.”

      “Thanks, Luke, I truly appreciate your concern. Still, though, I don’t know what you could do to help me through this predicament. I don’t know how anyone could.”

      “You need time to think, plan your immediate and long-term future. And, you need a quiet, safe place in which to do it. With your mom and dad so angry, your boyfriend so uncaring, you won’t find the space you need here.”

      I couldn’t dispute Luke’s logic. The constant upheaval in my personal life kept me dizzy and in an uproar. It wasn’t good for me, and I shuddered to think of what all this rigamarole was doing to the tiny, innocent fetus swimming around inside me.

      But I didn’t know what Luke planned to do about it. He took a short, steadying breath, then gazed deep into my eyes.

      “Finish this haul with me, Kelli. If all goes well—which it should—we can make the round trip from here to Michigan, unload, reload, and be back in two weeks. That should give you plenty enough time to truly know what you want to do about the baby.”

      “Oh, I don’t know, Luke!” If he’d suggested that we sprout wings and fly to the moon, I couldn’t have been more stunned. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I’ve never been out of Indiana before!”

      “Good, then you can have

Скачать книгу