LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

their resumes. Jan— they’re in briefcase.

      Solome Savard

      Imagine an American memory. Minnesota winters. Sledding. Ice skating. Shoveling after a blizzard. Then summer baseball. Hot dogs. Paul Bunyan.

      Imagine a woman’s black gabardine evening bag. A daughter looking at it. Imagine earrings in a dresser drawer. Two mounds of sequins like the sun on an afternoon lake. Why would Solome remember the mound of sequins that were her mother’s earrings? Why did those images stay in her mind at times? How often did she think of the past? And who was she with a misspelled name, Solome, a name different from others? It all harbored in her memory, that gift she wanted to name again and again.

      Solome purchased a chest-of-drawers. After it was delivered, she found a stain mark down the edge. She wrote a letter to the company. A man came from the furniture store in the afternoon, and decided there was nothing wrong. He didn’t offer to repair or replace it.

      Imagine an American house. An American dog.

      A husband confused about the day. In need of his briefcase.

      Money paid for a flawed piece of furniture.

      Imagine wanting something and wanting something. The feeling never stopped barking; gnawing like a squirrel in the attic, like our dog, Brown, that didn’t stop barking.

      Solome lived in America, yet the neighbors acted like they were in a country where they turned each other in. What could she do? It was as if part of her crossed through the walls of the house and settled in the dog, and she called out for someone and called out for someone in the dog’s bark.

      What could she do with a dog that stayed chained in the backyard? She asked her Thursday afternoon discussion group. Jane Mead suggested putting him to sleep. Brown had dug a trench along the back of the house in frustration, uprooting a flower bed and an old toy buried long ago by one of the children. The yard man would fill it in again.

      The dog didn’t bark while Solome was there. Once, in a dream, during a nap, she’d heard barking. She woke and knew what the neighbors meant. But why had they called the police? Who was it? Not the Grunswald’s. They were friends. Possibly the Morgan’s. More probably the Bernard’s whom she hardly knew. Or someone on the next street.

      What did she want? Her business was the house and children, but now the walls were moving and she was unable to hold them back.

      Solome e-mailed their oldest daughter, Gretchen, in New York about the neighbors who had called the police about their dog, Brown, because he barked when she left. She didn’t mention who she thought it was, and Gretchen didn’t ask.

      Once Solome wrote that she was worried about Stephen.

      She heard the yard man raking leaves in the back yard. Brown was yapping and jumping at him. Solome yelled from the back door for Brown to be quiet. She finally closed him in the garage.

      At noon, Soos stopped by the house with the baby. Solome made sandwiches for their lunch. Then Soos put Susan down for a nap and ran errands while Solome watched her. Soos had started a romper for Susan. Solome finished it on the sewing machine while Soos was gone.

      Stephen Savard

      Our son, Mark Stephen, wanted to develop his own course of study at the college. He joined some students who formed a protest group. I was embarrassed that my son’s name was in the college newspaper. I knew my colleagues talked about it behind my back.

      The students had sit-ins. They had marches. They chalked the sidewalks. There were demands for multiculturalism.

      “You don’t know what you need to know,” I said to Mark, irritated that he dropped by my office without notice. He walked by Jan with a sense of entitlement, though she told him I was on the phone.

      Sometimes Mark stopped by the house on weekends. His returns were nothing more than a meal for Solome to serve, his clothes to wash, his room to clean after he left, and a few sharp words between us as I was becoming more and more, what was the word he used— irascible?

      “Why do you stay at Cobson and embarrass your father?” Solome confronted Mark one evening at dinner. “You could go to another college if you want to act like that.”

      “I want to go to Cobson,” Mark snapped back. “I like the climate there. My friends are there.”

      “What you do reflects on your father.”

      “Ideas change. I can’t be your boy scout any longer,” Mark said and left.

      “What’s gotten into you, Solome?” I asked. “You’ve never snapped at him like that.”

      “What’s gotten into you?” She returned.

      Solome Savard

      When she was in high school, her parents bought a small cabin on Crane Lake, five hours north of St. Paul, near the boundary waters on the border of Canada. The shore was eroding, though they didn’t know it at the time. “Fitting,” her mother said. She kept the cabin after Solome’s father died, though she seldom went there. “It’s probably overrun by mosquitoes or fallen into the lake.”

      But the cabin had not fallen into the lake. Solome went there when she needed solitude. Sometimes Stephen came with her. Her mother wasn’t interested in the cabin any longer, nor the children, though Mark would go occasionally with some friends. Her mother thought of selling it, but Solome asked if they could hold onto it when her mother mentioned selling.

      Solome belonged to the Faculty Wives Club. She had a small job. On Wednesdays and Fridays she worked at the Minnesota Historical Society. She volunteered, actually. She worked in retrieval in the research library, going into the stacks, bringing back requested material. Sometimes she looked through the books, reading about subjects such as Ojibway winter spirits. She liked the cool, gray metal stairs, the battleship gray floors. The orderliness. The fire-proofed structure. But she felt nothing she wanted to feel. She could plug the longing now and then. Dream of an actual job with responsibility and satisfaction. That was the American dream.

      There was Stephen’s briefcase— in his closet again. She called him at Cobson. Did he want her to drive it there? Yes. She was used to delivering forgotten things.

      Solome had raised three children. She had served in PTA and Brownie troops. She had made some of the girls’ clothes. She took risks. She chose yellow wallpaper with turquoise flowers for the dining room. Maybe garish was the word for my risk, in that case. She was present with Stephen at dinners and social gatherings. She was the visible wife of the provost of Cobson College. She knew what to say to others.

      Salome, the mother of the disciples, James and John, had been at the tomb of Jesus with Susanna, Joanna, who was the wife of Chuzas, Herod’s steward, and other women who had been healed of spirits and demons, including Mary Magdalene. What were demons? Was that what was pursuing Stephen?

      But Solome’s ordinary American life was blessed. She didn’t need to worry about demons. There were no tanks in the street. No gunshots in the neighborhood. No fear for her children’s lives, though American cities were not safe, and at night she hurried toward her house along the lighted sidewalk with the dog. She wished sometimes they lived farther out in the suburbs, but Stephen liked being close to the college. They’d been in the same house nearly twenty-five years.

      Where did the mind go when the circuits shut down?

      Solome looked through the photo albums of trips and outings, birthdays, scouting and school programs, the high school graduations of their three children.

      What was missing? God, what was it? God? Late one evening when she was waiting for Stephen to come back on a plane after a conference on retaining faculty, before she started to the airport to get him, she was passing through the t.v. channels and saw an evangelist on television. He preached a sermon and said she needed Jesus in her life. There was a woman listening who needed to be saved. Accept Jesus as your Savior. She sat in the chair and repeated after the evangelist, Lord Jesus Christ, you died for my sins, I accept you as my Savior.

      Now

Скачать книгу