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grape.”

      In 1918, fed up with her mother’s meddling in her on and off stage life, Beatrice ran away to Montreal, Canada, with her friend Paul, a theater manager. He convinced her the way to achieve autonomy from family was to marry him, which she did at age twenty-five. They shared a marriage of convenience, mostly for hubby, who used his wife’s earnings to support his gambling habit. The union was declared void when it was discovered that he already had a wife in Belgium. After the divorce, Beatrice rarely spoke of Paul, and identified him only by his first name. Beatrice returned to the Big Apple; however, the worm in its core was the fact that the Dada movement had died down, Marcel was traveling in Europe, and Roché had returned to Paris. Theater also had lost its lure; as an art form, it remained fascinating, but she disliked the role of actress because “You become so concentrated on yourself, your smile, and the way you look. And, really, it’s a pain in the ass.” In 1938, after another love, the British director Reginald Pole, left her to marry an eighteen-year-old, she moved to California to be near the Indian guru Krishnamurti, of whom she had become a disciple. The move segued into her great second act.

      On a trip to Holland, Beatrice had purchased a set of baroque dessert plates with a lustrous glaze. Unable to find a matching teapot, she decided to create one, and at age forty, she enrolled in a ceramics course at Hollywood High School. Intrigued with the process, it became her new art medium, and she became the pupil of Otto Natzler, a Jewish artist who had fled his homeland when the Nazis annexed Austria. Her work—reminiscent of Dada—poked fun at social hypocrisy and the battle of the sexes, while others were heavily erotic. A favorite subject was Shakespeare’s red-headed patron, and in one of her brochures for an exhibition, she wrote, “Did you know what Queen Elizabeth I did with ambassadors? Each had to spend a night with her, and the one with the best qualifications got the job.” Wood also fashioned chalices and bowls, the shapes culled from Greek, Japanese, and Indian sources. Endlessly experimental, she said, “Knowing what one’s about to take out of a kiln is as exciting as being married to a boring man.” Anais Nin remarked that her works were “iridescent and smoky, like trail-ways left by satellites.” Beatrice said of her medium, “Women who have diamonds—it can’t touch the joy and excitement of opening a kiln.” The ceramics supported her through the Depression (she did not inherit family money), and the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, and upscale stores such as Neiman Marcus carried her works signed Beato, her nickname.

      In 1948, taken with its purple mountains, pink-blue sunsets, and “unique aura,” the bohemian Beatrice found her forever home in Ojai, California. Krishnamurti had introduced her to the area. Later, he, Beatrice, and another resident, Aldous Huxley, founded the Happy Valley School, a no-grades progressive institution in the Upper Ojai Valley, where Wood taught pottery. She also took another trip down the aisle with Steven Hoag, with whom she shared an amicable, platonic marriage that lasted for several years until his passing. The prosaic reason for their nuptial was that it allowed them to apply for Red Cross funding (married couples had a better chance) when the house they owned in North Hollywood washed away in a flood. In her autobiography, I Shock Myself, published when Wood was ninety-two, she wrote, “In a way my life has been an upside-down experience. I never made love to the two men I married, and I did not marry the men I loved. I do not know if this makes me a good girl gone bad, or a bad girl gone good.” Beatrice’s last grand passion was with an East Indian scientist with whom she fell in love at age sixty-eight, on the first of her three trips to India. She refused to name him to protect his conservative family. Wood described the affair with the mystery man who told her that “our trains move in opposite directions” in her fourth book, 33rd Wife of a Maharajah, published in India.

      Beatrice’s ninth decade was her most artistic exploratory period, and her mental agility remained as sharp as ever; as a ninety-year-old, she learned to use a personal computer for her correspondence. Far from dressing her age in conservative fashion with a prim gray bun, Wood wore her hair in a long thick braid, sported a challenging amount of silver jewelry, and dressed in brightly colored saris. Her ranch-style studio home in the Topa Topa Mountain area doubled as a gallery that drew 300 visitors a month. Wood did not allow her failing health to prevent her from ever being anything other than a gracious hostess. When asked the key to her longevity, she attributed it to “art books, chocolate and young men.’’ (Hence guests arrived with gifts of the former.) In all likelihood, her vegetarian diet and avoidance of alcohol and tobacco had something to do with the fact she appeared far younger. Beatrice explained the reason she was a teetotaler: “I don’t drink because I decided long ago, if I was going to be seduced, I wanted to be sober.” In her autobiography, she highlighted a life that had embraced the road less travelled; she had befriended ballet figures Nijinsky and Pavlova, the artist Brancusi, and the director Stanislavsky. The artist insisted that, since scientists had proved time and space did not exist, she was “actually only thirty-two.’’ One fan of Camp Wood was Governor Pete Wilson of California, who deemed her “a national treasure.” Another was film director James Cameron—a neighbor in Ojai—who used her as the model for the 101-year-old Rose in Titanic, played by Oscar nominee Gloria Stuart. Despite her acclaim, she still retained her youthful romanticism, and said with a sly smile, “I still would be willing to sell my soul to the devil for a nice Argentine to do the tango with.”

      Unlike many older people who dwell on the past, to her, the good old days were always the current ones. A premiere in Los Angeles featured a documentary on her life, Beatrice Wood: Mama of Dada, produced by Diandra Douglas (the ex-wife of actor Michael.) Three years later, she celebrated her 103rd birthday with a retrospective exhibition of 103 objects, many recently made, at La Jolla’s Mingei International Museum of World Folk Art. Her pieces are on display in the permanent collections of twelve major museums, including the Smithsonian and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and command prices of $40,000 per piece. When an interviewer asked why people still found her interesting, Ms. Wood replied, “I’d be interested in any old bag who was still working at age 100.”

      Beatrice’s 105th birthday bash drew 250 guests, including James Cameron and Gloria Stewart. Ms. Wood passed away soon after, but her heart, like the celluloid Rose’s, “will go on and on.”

       Chapter Five

       Life as Theater (1896)

      May-December relationships have been the fodder of the silver screen; traditionally, the former have been young women, the latter, older men. This paradigm changed with the rise of what has become known in popular parlance as the “cougar.” In the movie The Graduate, Mrs. Robinson was Benjamin Braddock’s graduation present; in American Pie, Stifler’s mom proclaimed, “I like my scotch and men the same way—aged eighteen years”; in Sex and the City, Samantha Jones’s boy-toy lured her down the path of monogamy. But an octogenarian was the leader of this pack of Mrs. Robinsons.

      The woman who became renowned as a “cradle-robber” was Ruth Gordon Jones from Quincy, Massachusetts. Her father, Clinton, was a retired sea captain, and her mother, Annie, bartered sewing skills for her daughter’s piano lessons. Ruth met her destiny at age sixteen in the upper balcony of the Colonial Theater in Boston, at a production of The Pink Lady. After the performance, Ruth heard voices telling her, “Go on stage!” Never one to loathe a good suggestion, she took the ethereal message to heart, and broke the news to her father that she was leaving for the Never-Never Land of Broadway. His less-than-enthusiastic response was, “What makes you think you’ve got the stuff?” Although the comment was harsh, the New Englander felt he was being pragmatic: his five-foot-tall daughter with bow legs was not the stuff that made for a screen siren. He advised her to become a physical education teacher, but, as Ruth said, “I wanted to do something a little more sexy than that.” Armed with equal parts grit and wit, the eighteen-year-old left for New York. Clinton gave her the money for one year’s tuition to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts, fifty dollars spending money, and his old spyglass from his sailor days. According to Ruth, “He told me I could hock it if I needed money. He said if you’re going to be an actress, you’ll be in and out of hock shops all your life. Well, I hocked plenty of things, but never that

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